How to build confidence as a working mom

  • The Free Mama
  • Tagged , , , , ,
  • June 8, 2017
  • Last weekend my family went to San Antonio. My husband had to go for work, so we all decided to pile in the car and tag along.

    The trip itself could be several blog posts, covering everything from how to survive in a theme park by yourself with 3 kids {what was I thinking?} to what to pack for a road trip.

    But one thing that stood out to me during this whirlwind vacation was how much I’ve changed over the last few years.

    When I first became a mom, I was terrified to nurse in public. I was one of the lucky ones who never struggled with breastfeeding. Yet, whenever I left the house I would typically excuse myself to go somewhere private to nurse. Because of my insecurity, I fed my baby anywhere from a parked car to a public restroom and many places in between.

    By the time number two came along, my confidence improved. While I still preferred privacy, if I absolutely had to I would get out a cover and work through it with a wiggling baby.

    Fast forward to baby number three, and I’m nursing on the park bench at Sea World San Antonio without thinking twice.

    So what’s changed? Well for one thing, I’ve learned how to build confidence as a working mom.

    I have also decided not to let what other people think affect my choices.

    We were on the go all weekend, and while I still prefer to be modest, and use a cover {when she’ll let me} I feed her wherever and whenever it’s time. I no longer let the potential discomfort of onlookers get in the way of me feeding my child.

    The truth is, most of them could probably care less what I’m doing or how I’m doing it anyway. I have no doubt that much of my insecurity was just that – mine!

    Sure, there’s always going to be a critic, but I’ve grown to realize they are the exception and not the rule. And I’m definitely not going to let these guys get in the way of me feeding my baby… or anything else for that matter.

    As a blogger, many of the same insecurities pop up. Will anyone care what I have to say? What will people think? Will they disapprove? Or will I be accepted?

    These are the mental roadblocks we will all encounter at some point in our lives. It’s up to us to decide if we will drive through them, or turn back.

    Would you make the same choices if no one else was around to judge you?

    In other words, how much are you allowing what other people think about you impact your life as a working mom?

    Now, I’m not saying that our choices don’t affect other people. In fact, I actually think it is important to consider other people in our decision making. But when it comes down to it, no one knows what’s best for you than YOU!

    Maybe you’re considering heading back to work after staying home with your kiddos, and you’re worried you’ll get criticized for putting them in childcare.

    Perhaps you have a fabulous new job opportunity, but you feel nervous to tell your current boss whom you love.

    Whatever the situation, here’s how you to get what you want and build confidence as a working mom.

    Stop trying to please others.

    You really want to start working from home to ditch the long commute, but you can’t stop thinking about what your co-workers will think about the arrangement. It’s human nature to care what others think about us, but it also holds us back, which isn’t great for our happiness. {Or in my case, the happiness of my hungry baby!} It’s likely that you’re overestimating how much they’ll actually care in the first place. But if they really are upset, you can address their concerns by clarifying the details around your new flex position or encouraging them to request the same. In the end, however, we have to let go of the expectation that we can make everyone happy.

    Take control of your life.

    It’s time to get into the driver seat, mama. Just as much as you cannot control what other people think, you cannot expect great things to happen in your life if you aren’t willing to go after them. Do you think you deserve a raise, but aren’t sure if your company will go for it? You need to do your research, build your argument and get your tush into your boss’s office ASAP. Start by identifying what it is you want and the first step towards making it a reality. You’ll improve your confidence by being assertive and following through. Plus, that confidence and prepared argument may be just the thing that gets your boss to say yes!

    Celebrate your accomplishments with others.

    Women in particular tend to have a difficult time celebrating our wins. No one wants to be labeled a bragger… Well, toot toot! While not everyone will be happy for you, you cannot reach big goals without celebrating small wins. By celebrating your accomplishments with a support system that wants you to succeed, you gain momentum and positive energy to tackle whatever’s next for you. Be sure to return the favor to your friends who are killin’ it, and watch your confidence soar!

    4 thoughts on “How to build confidence as a working mom

    1. This was a wonderful post, and I totally feel u it’s so hard as a mom not to second guess ourselves or feel the need to get someone’s approval. I am still learning and working on this myself.

      1. We are all a work in progress, aren’t we? I love these little lessons, because I get to share them with my daughters – mommies make mistakes and keep learning, too!

    Leave a Reply