Do you remember the first time you met your best friend, mama?
Maybe you can remember every detail of what you were wearing, where you were, what the air smelled like, and even the first words you said to each other.
If so, that’s awesome. You clearly have a fabulous memory, and I am totally jealous.
I can’t remember the details of how I first met the amazing Kathryn Jones, who is absolutely one of my best friends.
Just because my memory is lousy, though, doesn’t make Kathryn any less amazing. I know the broad strokes —we met in a Facebook group. We commented on each other’s posts, messaged back and forth, got on a Zoom call at some point, and eventually met in person.
Now it’s hard to remember a time when Kathryn wasn’t a part of my life.
But — and now we’re getting into the things I feel strongly about — when I first connected with Kathryn, neither of us was looking for a client or a business relationship.
We weren’t actually looking for anything. We were connecting. We were making friends.
I see far too many people obsessing over landing clients. You’ve seen them too — the people who connect with you on LinkedIn, friend you on Facebook, or follow you on Instagram. A moment later, they’re in your DMs, because they LOVE to serve people JUST LIKE YOU with [insert whatever they do].
Ick. Gross. Yuck.
This is not the way to go about creating relationships.
STOP looking for clients and START making friends. STOP thinking about what you’re going to GET from people, and START focusing on what you can GIVE. And I don’t mean, “I can give you back your time with my administrative package for boss ladies.”
For real — when I say TALK TO PEOPLE, that’s what I mean. I mean, talk to people. Ask them how they are. Listen to the answer. Focus on being friends.
Because when you start a business, you’ll need friends. Some of your old friends will bail on you. Sometimes, it’s because you filled a very specific need for them — they needed you to be available, or they needed you to be helpless, or they needed you to be unhappy with your life. These are the same “friends” who will invite you for ice cream when you tell them you’ve given up sugar. They usually don’t have your best interests at heart.
Sometimes, it’s just that you no longer have a lot in common, or the timing isn’t great, or they’re simply in a different season of life, and you’ll reconnect later.
When you join a Facebook group, you’re saying, “Hey, I share a specific interest with you and the rest of the people here.” You can connect over that interest. And when you are an actual friend, and you genuinely care about the other person, AMAZING things can happen. Sometimes those amazing things mean you’ve just found the secret to getting clients.
Kathryn is my FRIEND, first and foremost. We are there for each other if one of us has a bad day, a rough week, a hard time. We laugh and cry together. We celebrate wins — personal and professional. When I see a book or a t-shirt or a recipe she would love, I send her a text and vice versa. She has even taken my calls from church when I desperately needed a friend.
And the fact that our relationship is financially beneficial for both of us is like eating the most delicious chocolate cake and then discovering it was made from celery and has negative calories.
So, the secret to getting clients is this…be a person. Make friends with other people. I promise you, the clients will come.
P.S. Have you heard that my friend Kathryn Jones is running a free training JUST for the Free Mama Community? We are going to go live TODAY in The Free Mama Movement Facebook Group! Join us!
P.P.S. Just in case you missed it– my latest episode of FreeMamaTV featured my husband and we talked all about how to get your spouse on board with your new business!