Have you been feeling heavy, mama?
I’m not talking about the stash of Graham Crackers and Nutella you’ve been snacking on. (Maybe that’s just me?)
I’m talking about feeling trapped and lost and alone and overwhelmed — heavy.
The feeling we’ve come to associate with 2020.
About a decade ago, I heard a pastor describe this feeling, and the description has stuck with me ever since.
When you’re in that dark place — whether it’s diagnosed as depression or “just” a bizarre side effect of living through the present day craziness that is 2020 — it feels a lot like climbing a mountain by yourself.
You look up, and all you see is more mountain.
Even after you climb for hours, days, and weeks, every time you stop and look up, there’s just more.
You start to think that this is all there is. You’re never going to get anywhere. It’s always going to be this hard, this lonely, this exhausting. And you’re always going to feel like you’re not making any progress.
What you have to remember, when you’re in that place, what you have to tattoo on your hand so you can hold it up and see it, is that every mountain has a summit.
And on the way to the summit, you will eventually hit a ledge where you have more perspective. Where you can look back and see how far you’ve come, and look ahead and start to see the summit, the peak, what you’ve been working towards.
More than that, you have to remember that behind every mountain is a valley, where the terrain is flat and smooth, where you’ll be able to catch your breath and regain your strength.
It’s really, really hard to believe in the summit — not to mention the valley — when you’re staring at a wall of sheer rock.
It feels like those things are a dream, and that you’re never going to get there.
Here’s what I want you to know.
- You are not alone on the mountain. Even when it feels like you’re all alone, even when you can’t see anyone else, you are not alone on the mountain.
- You don’t have to compare your mountain to someone else’s. No one has the right to tell you that what you’re going through isn’t hard. There are times in life when even “small” problems feel overwhelming. Your mountain is real, and it is significant, and it has nothing to do with other people’s mountains.
- You can do this. Even if you don’t think you can, you can. You can survive this, because you are amazing and strong and fierce.
When you feel alone, jump into the Facebook group and lean on the support of 30,000 women who are all climbing mountains. Whether you’re looking for someone to join you in a commiserating bowl of ice cream or a celebratory glass of wine, you’ll find your people.
When you start to compare your mountain to someone else’s, STOP. Just stop, and focus on YOUR journey, one foot in front of the other.
When you don’t believe in yourself, borrow my belief in you.
If you don’t know the story of how the Free Mama Movement came to be, the short version is that my business was born from a terrible loss — I miscarried my third baby and was devastated.
I’ve been on the mountain, mama.
I’m living proof that you can get through this, and that’s why I’m totally happy to believe in you until the moment you’re ready to believe in yourself.
P.S. If you’re looking for more community and support, definitely keep your eyes out for next week’s email. Something really cool is coming!