Last weekend was nuts.
I was pumping multiple times a day, working ahead on some projects for the following week, and trying to find clothes that fit my postpartum body to pack for an out of town event.
This work event just happened to be in Destin, Florida, and I desperately needed to get a pedicure for my soon to be exposed toes.
But I had a million other things to do and the thought of leaving my kids alone with my husband for even one extra hour before heading to the beach days later seemed so unreasonable.
This is a situation I’ve found myself in many times before.
I need to do the laundry, take the kids to get a haircut, go to the grocery store, finish client projects, sweep the floors, strategize some upcoming business initiatives, and clean the toilets…
Seriously, who has time to get a pedicure?
That really got me thinking.
I need to do so many things. {At least I think I do.}
But what about what I need?
In this case, a pedicure to bring my feet out of hibernation. But sometimes it’s lunch with a friend, time to exercise or just a quiet moment alone.
Why do we, as mothers, hesitate to do things for ourselves?
Mom guilt.
Surely it would look bad if I went a did something for myself before every tiny thing at home is wrapped up, right? I mean, I’m leaving town for crying out loud.
Except here’s the thing – the long list of to-dos is never really done. And by not taking care of numero uno, we just ware ourselves down with all of the other stuff. Even the flight attendants remind us before take off that we need to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting others.
Full disclosure: I’m writing this post from a 3 bedroom penthouse suite at a resort in Destin, Florida.
And I absolutely refuse to feel guilty about it.
Why?
Because it’s great for my personal and professional development.
I have a husband whom I trust completely with our three children.
Everyone will be alive and well when I return home. After a week, they won’t even remember I left in the first place.
And I would have a lot more regrets if I’d chosen not to attend.
So while I acknowledge that mom guilt is definitely a real thing, I’m also declaring it only as powerful as we allow it to be.
[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Mom guilt is definitely a real thing, but it’s only as powerful as we allow it to be.[/tweetthis]
So before my trip, I decided to kick mom guilt to the curb in four easy steps.
- It’s easier said than done, but stating that you refuse to let guilt take over is the first step. Like most things in life, it’s a choice.
- Address why you felt it in the first place. For me, it was the idea of asking my husband to step up one more time right before leaving town.
- Find a way around it and make your own reality. I could have filled my day with housework and packing, and then been upset about my ugly feet later. I could have resented my husband for “not letting me go” even though I’d never asked. Instead, I ditched the housework, waited until the older kiddos were napping {aka pretending to sleep while quietly destroying their bedrooms} and took the baby with me to the nail salon.
- Give yourself grace. Did I get to every single thing on my list before heading out of town? No. But it’s been a week and I still haven’t. But I did give myself a pat on the back for doing something I normally wouldn’t have done for myself and for feeling really good about it. For the record, my toes look fabulous, the baby slept the entire time we were at the salon, and my husband barely noticed I’d left the house, let alone the remaining chores.
Mom guilt, be gone!
Who’s with me?
Go out and be an awesome mother, wife, colleague and friend. Just please remember to fasten your own oxygen mask first.