The power of pausing, mama.
You know that thing where you’re talking to someone and then this awkward silence fills the space between you, and you don’t know what to do with yourself?
Now, imagine for a moment, that the person you’re talking to is… yourself. And the silence fills you, and you can’t figure out how to make yourself more comfortable.
Has Lauren developed a personality disorder or lost her marbles?
Well, not quite, but I have been struggling lately with pausing. Here’s what I mean.
You might have noticed that I’m all about action. I don’t like to sit around — I like to move forward. Constantly. I make a decision, and I implement that decision pretty much immediately.
This means that sometimes, I make a decision, and start taking action, and then months later realize that I actually needed to take a different action — and I’m suddenly halfway down a path I didn’t really want to be on. For me, realizing this, and recognizing that it’s easy for me to view pausing as inaction has been a revelation.
I’ve had to change my thinking and reframe that pause. It’s not that I’m not making a decision or taking action; it’s that I’m giving myself the space to determine if this is truly the right decision for my business, if this action is aligned with my goals.
For me, these pauses are wildly uncomfortable, but I’m slowly learning to live with them.
Your version of the pause might be completely different from mine — but I bet there’s something that makes you consistently uncomfortable.
Maybe your version of the pause is calling yourself a freelancer, talking about your business, or feeling good about charging people money for your work.
There’s something that makes you wildly uncomfortable, right? Something that you’re thinking about right now, and maybe you’re grinding your back teeth or holding your breath or feeling that discomfort in the pit of your stomach just from thinking about it.
I get it, Mama. Because I feel it, too.
Here’s what I’m learning — and maybe it’ll help you.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. It’s legitimate that I’m struggling with something I’m not naturally good at, and that I have to exercise this muscle to improve. Just like any other skill, we can learn to be okay with the things that make us uncomfortable, and we can get better at them. The power of the pause.
For me, the pauses — uncomfortable as they are — let me reflect on my values. It’s not enough to say that I prioritize my family, I need to make sure my actions are in line with that. And sometimes, for me, that means taking a breath and not doing something that “everyone says I should do.”
Maybe for you it’s telling that family friend that you will charge him for that website work, because that’s the action that’s in line with your values — uncomfortable as it is the first time you say it out loud.
Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is key — because if we keep doing the same things, we’re never going to be able to grow. Worse, we’ll build businesses that don’t truly serve our needs or align with what we want.
What’s making you uncomfortable right now? And how are you learning to be okay with that discomfort? I’d love to hear your thoughts — we’re sharing them in the Facebook group, so please drop a comment!
Here’s to embracing discomfort and learning the power of pausing, Mama!
P.S. I’m SO EXCITED about the speaker we’ve JUST CONFIRMED for the Free Mama Retreat. Stay tuned for the big reveal!