In just two days, mama, I’m leaving my children and I don’t feel guilty.
But let me back up a moment.
Right now, as you read this, I am deeply entrenched in Camp Mom. I am HERE for my beautiful children, and I am (mostly) loving every minute.
(I am still NOT a fan of glitter, but I’m working on it.)
When I tell you that you can have it all, I mean it. It’s up to you to decide what, exactly, having it all means to you.
I’ve seen a LOT of “Let’s normalize relaxing with a drink at the end of the day,” posts — and they spark a reaction in me.
I’d like to normalize two things:
- Not using the word “normalize.”
- Not needing to drink at the end of every day, because I actually enjoy the time I spend with my kids, AND it means taking time for myself and my own needs, AWAY from my children without feeling guilty.
We don’t often talk about how hard motherhood can be and how lost we can get — unless we’re performing and think that being vulnerable in public about our struggles will win us points in this weird Mommy Olympics we’ve created.
“I’ve never left my children for a single night.”
Okay, and?
Is that supposed to mean that you’re a better mom than someone who does take time for herself?
Pick your cliche: you can’t pour from an empty cup; put on your own oxygen mask first; taking care of yourself IS taking care of your babies.
They’re cliches because they’re TRUE.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot possibly take care of anyone else. I’ve seen this play out in the lives of people I love, and the results have been disastrous.
When I was in college, I had a group of girlfriends. We swore we’d always be best friends, we’d always be there for each other, we’d have a reunion every year.
It’s been five years since I’ve seen them, and I can’t just blame the pandemic. So when I set my goals for 2021, one of them was “Have a girls’ trip.” Yes, I do put these into my yearly goals — do you remember my skiing trip?
Now it’s going to be more like a girls’ dinner, because we all have young kiddos, and one of my friends is in law school, but I will take what I can get.
And I almost didn’t book it.
Because I started to buy into the idea that “leaving my children” is a bad thing.
I mean, mom shaming is everywhere.
But then I thought about you, mama. I thought about how maybe you’re in a place where you desperately need to take some time for yourself, and maybe you’re worried that people will call you a bad mom if you take the time you NEED for yourself.
In my opinion, taking time for yourself makes you a better mom. Recognizing your own needs and meeting them before you hit your breaking point takes strength and courage.
So, yes. In two days, I’m getting on a plane and going to see my best friends from college. I’ll enjoy every single second, and then I’ll come home and love my kids.
What will you do for yourself this week?