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The Ultimate Free Video Guide To Become A Work From Home Mom



Every single link in this post will take you to a video that will teach you how to become a work from home mom for free. become a work from home mom

Let me guess. You’re all ready to rock it out as a work from home mom, but you have just a couple of quick questions.

Maybe you’re not even sure what freelancing is, or how you can possibly make money without selling some sort of product. I see you! I have been there.

Here’s the thing. Almost every single day, I’m live in the Free Mama Facebook Group, answering questions, providing training, and giving encouragement and support — and it’s completely free.

Every single link in this blog post will take you directly to a video that will help you for free.

If you click a link and can’t access the video in question, that means you’re not a member of the Free Mama Facebook Group. All you have to do to join is click here and answer three quick questions.

I personally review every single answer — and yeah, you do have to answer the questions — and approve people daily. If you request to join the group and answer the questions, you’ll be on the inside with 24 hours.

I’ve rounded up a bunch of the videos that answer a LOT of the questions I most commonly get from Mamas like you. Please, take advantage of this free resource and join us! We saved you a spot and everything.

What is freelancing?

If you want some basic answers to “What the heck is freelancing?” this video will help you.

If you get what freelancing is, but you need to know how to get started — well, there’s a video for that, too.

Maybe you want to set yourself up for success from the very beginning so that you can jump in the right way. Answer the questions in this video to help define your potential clients and how, exactly, you want your business to look.

Is freelancing for me?

And if you’re thinking, But Lauren, I’m just a ______. How can I possibly be successful? Oh, Mama. I majored in political science and minored in theology and Spanish. You might think of me as a marketer, but I had NO PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE in that area when I started this business. You can have an amazing career as a freelance Virtual Administrative Consultant even if you’ve never worked in anything that you think is related to this field.

Above all, Mama, do not sell yourself short. You have something incredible to offer, and there are people who desperately need YOUR talents and services.

Do you want me to call you out on your excuses? Here are the top five excuses I hear pretty much daily — and my loving kick in the pants to get you past those excuses. Now, I get that you may not be in a season of life where you’re ready to hear this message and take action on it — but that’s something only you can change.

What do I really need to know about starting a freelancing business?

If you’re doing something that’s making you happy, then don’t worry about what other people think. If you want to work from home and go against what’s “typical” in your community and build a business that gives you joy AND MAKES YOU MONEY — then you do that, Mama. You dance like no one is watching, and you rock it out.

And do you know what, Mama? When you tell your husband, your parents, your best friend, or anyone else about your dreams of having your own business, and they make you doubt yourself, that hurts. Even when you know that it’s coming from a place of love and care for you, it’s hard to feel that the people around you don’t believe in you. I feel you, Mama, and you have to show them some proof of your plan for success.

Because the thing is, you become what you say. If you say, “Yeah, I can’t afford to invest in myself,” you will stay in that broke mindset, you will make that your reality, and you will be broke and unhappy. On the other hand, if you decide, “YES! I’m worth this! I’m doing this and I’m going to make it work!” — that’s incredibly powerful.

Oh, and you have to STOP apologizing for asking questions or not knowing something. There’s no reason to be sorry about trying to expand your knowledge.

I get that you feel scared — that’s totally normal.

But what you need to do is make that fear work for you. Let it push you to be amazing!

How do I find freelancing clients?

If you’re struggling to find clients, take a look at the messages you’re putting out online. Are they working for you or against you?

More questions about clients? You’re not alone, mama. That’s the second most popular question around these parts, so we have a lot of information on how to get clients. Like, A LOT of information.

Answering your questions is one of my favorite things, but I’ll admit that if you ask me a question and I’ve already made a video that answers your question, that’s where I’ll send you first.

Now go out there and build your business, Mama! You have everything you need to make this happen.

If there’s a video you found amazingly helpful,  let me know! I’m constantly working to create content that gets you where you need to be, so tell me if I’m hitting the mark. You can check out my other blog posts here!

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Are You Living The Life You Want To Live?

If someone asked me, are you truly living the life you want to live?  I would give a resoundingYES!!

Living The Life You Want To LiveOne of my favorite things is seeing the #FreeMamaWins and #IAmAFreeMama posts shared with me on Facebook, on Instagram, inside the Free Mama Facebook Group, and in all the other places where we share things.

I squeal, I screenshot, I try to high-five the people who happen to be around me (even in the grocery store, which can get a little awkward), I just get SO CRAZY EXCITED, because let’s free ALL the mamas, you know?

On the flip side, one of the things that’s hardest for me to see are the mamas who keep telling me that they really, really want to do this — but they don’t take action to make it happen.

It’s hard for me to see that, because I’ve been that mama. It took me a long time to take real action, and I see myself in so many of the mamas I want to help.  It’s not easy to make a huge change in your life. I cringe when I think about how long I let my perfectionist tendencies keep me from moving forward. I spent years thinking, “Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t really know enough to help other people. Maybe I can’t make a difference.” But I did finally take action, when I look at my life now, versus my life then — whoa. I mean, just whoa.

That’s why I have to ask you, Mama, are you living the life you want to live?

If you keep saying that you want to be a free mama, what actionable steps are you taking to get yourself there? If you haven’t yet started your Free Mama journey, what do you think will be different for you in 2019? If you want to be ready to live life on your own terms with those New Year Resolutions in January, now is the time to join the movement. If you enroll now, you can work through the entire program over October, November, and December, and hit the ground running in January.

If you promised yourself that you would do something by the end of the year, this is your chance to do that. If you do nothing now, then 2019 will be full of more of the same — the same job you hate, the same not having enough money, the same sadness at leaving your kids each day.

You’ve put this off all year, and now is the time to take action so that you can rock your New Year’s Resolutions and live the life you really want.

If you give yourself the gift of enrolling in the Free Mama movement, this could be the best Christmas/Chanukah/whatever your family ever has. Imagine what it would feel like to tell your kids that you don’t have to go back to work. That you can be at home with them.
Here’s a challenge for you, Mama. Write down allllll the reasons you just can’t get started now, and post them in the Facebook group. There are some AMAZINGLY smart women in there, women who have helped mamas just like you figure out how they CAN do this — andwe can help you, too.

If you want something to change in your life, it’s time to make that change happen.

Are you in, mama?

 

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Get More Organized With The Daily Five

I was going through my business strategy, and I realized that I haven’t blogged in MONTHS.

#whoops

So, consider this your super-official, with tons of fanfare, I am SO excited to back on my OG Free Mama website blog post.

If you’re new here, I’m Lauren, and my passion is to get YOU out of your 9-5 and back home with your beautiful family, making a great income from home.

Also, I’m really not a big fan of network marketing (to put it mildly), so I will never, ever ask you to sell anything to your friends and family.

Here’s what I WILL do. I’ll show up weekly with tips and information you can use to build your freelancing business.

I’ll talk about what works — and what doesn’t. (Because WHY waste your time on stuff that doesn’t work?)

Now, onto the good stuff!

I don’t know if you’ve glanced at a calendar lately, but I was kind of stunned to realize that, UM, TIME HAS PASSED. How the heck did that happen?

This time of year is FULL of good things, and I have a couple of very cool surprises in store for you.

This time of year is also full of swim team, which my daughter just joined. And that’s great — she clearly inherited my competitive streak — except for the part where swim team is EVERY SINGLE DAY after school.

The thing is, I also have these OTHER two kids, and they are NOT going to be on the swim team, and they will be with me, on the bleachers, while we cheer for Daphne and think about how awesome it will be to travel to the Olympics with her in a few years.

Having two kids NEAR the water when they are not supposed to be IN the water? HOLY ANXIETY, mama.

Also, this means I’m going to be spending a fair amount of time NOT at my desk doing my work.

Which means that I need to get even MORE organized with my planning and scheduling so that I don’t find myself scrambling to meet deadlines or delivering less-than-amazing work to my clients.

I’m a huge fan of time blocking.

I assign different blocks of time to specific tasks so that I always know exactly what I need to work on when I’m at my desk.

If you want to supercharge your productivity, you can actually combine time blocking with one of my very favorite productivity tools — The Daily Five. Check out this video for more info on The Daily Five and why it rocks.

[Note: you’ll need to join The Free Mama Movement FB Group to watch this video!]

Prioritize your top five tasks for yourself AND create and prioritize SEPARATE Daily Five lists for EACH of your clients. That way, whenever you sit down to work, you will know what MUST get done for the day to be a success.

What’s your biggest scheduling struggle, Mama?

Let me know, because we are totally in this together!

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How Starting To Freelance Is Like Learning To Riding A Bike

The other day I was at the park with my oldest daughter Daphne, who is 5 (and a half…if you were to ask her).

A bunch of kids had brought their bikes, but Daphne doesn’t really ride hers much these days.

She used to love riding her bike and would always do laps around the playground, giggling and super confident.

She still uses training wheels, and a lot of her Kindergarten peers are starting to ride without them.

I can see it’s starting to knock her confidence a bit. And now, she hardly wants to ride at all.

As I was watching her that day at the park, bike-less, I wondered what my husband and I could do to get her to learn to ride the bike without the training wheels?

  • Take her shopping to buy a new big girl bike
  • Read a book all about bicycles and riding trails
  • Watch YouTube videos about the cool things she can do once she ditches the training wheels
  • Expose her to other kids at the park riding bikes without training wheels

We could totally do all of those things, but realistically I know she’s going to have to actually get on the training wheel free bike and practice.

Easier said than done, I know.

We’ve taken her around the cul-de-sac by our house and up and down the driveway to practice before without the training wheels, and it pretty much always goes the same.

“I can’t do it.”

“It’s too hard.”

“I’m never going to be able to figure this out.”

Wow!

That’s when it clicked: this had nothing to do with Daphne’s capability at all.

It had to do with her mindset.

The funny thing is, I see this over and over again with the mamas who are considering a freelancing business.

You see the other mamas doing it, and it looks fun and amazing and like an amazing path towards financial freedom and flexibility (it is).

And yet, you tell yourself that you can’t do it.

You watch videos about freelancing.

You may even invest in a course about freelancing.

But you never actually take what you’ve learned and get on the bike, so to speak.

You cannot learn how to ride a bike without actually riding, and you cannot become a freelancer without actually freelancing.

mom boss, entrepreneur, work from home
Click here to learn how to make money by working from home.

You’re afraid to start freelancing.

The last time Daphne told me she couldn’t ride her bike, I told her “you’re right. If you keep telling yourself that you can’t ride the bike without training wheels you’re right, you won’t be able to.”

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Henry Ford. He said, “whether you think you can, or think you cannot, you’re right.”

We’ve been working on Daphne’s mindset about riding a bike. We talk about what the worst thing that could happen is (possibly falling and ending up with a band-aid-worthy scrape).

You have a reason why you are starting to freelance, whether it’s because you want to quit your job or help financially to ease pressure off your spouse or find professional fulfillment.

Let me tell you – nothing is holding you back, but you!

What is the worst thing that could happen if you took the plunge?

You go back to a 9-5? You’re probably already there!

If you tried to get a client?

They say no? That’s not the end of the world.

If you tell a less-than-supportive family member?

Now…if you took your training wheels off and really launched your freelancing business…what’s the best that could happen?

Are you going to continue to tell yourself you can’t do it.

Or are you going to ride the bike?

 

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New To Freelancing? Here’s What You Need To Know

A few weeks ago I did something totally wild in The Free Mama community.

(If you’re new to freelancing, you’re going to want to listen up.)

I asked what you mamas wanted to know about freelancing…

What if I don’t know what I’m good at?

How do I find clients?

How much do I charge them when I do get them?!

And then…

I answered your questions live….while holding a baby.

Told you it was wild.

In case you missed all of the excitement and awesomeness, or if you just want to see how I respond under pressure, here’s your link to the replay.

If you’re reading this while nursing or just need to keep the noise down (ya know, so your boss doesn’t know you’re planning your sweet escape into a work from home life you love) than read on, mama.

You asked, I answered.

Click here to find out how I can help you work from home!

New to freelancing? Here’s what you need to know.

Should you choose a niche as a freelancer?

YES, you should decide on a niche! It’s just plain smart. Here’s why: many of entrepreneurs and businesses in the same industry will utilize a lot of the same software and speak the same lingo. What does that mean for you? Fewer systems to adopt and a shorter learning curve. (Side note: choosing a niche does not mean you shouldn’t continue to learn new skills!)

How do I decide on my niche if I’m just starting out?

How you decide on a niche is a little trickier. I really didn’t have a niche when I started freelancing, which was a BIG mistake. A great place to start is by looking into what you are passionate about or what you have experience in. This could include things like Health, Nutrition, Education, Real Estate, Accounting…etc. By choosing something that you are passionate about or interested in, you are going to be much more excited about the work that you get to do – promise.

What’s your niche?

Alright, I’m giving it all away. If I had to suggest a niche/industry that NEEDS your help and WANTS to pay you to solve their problems, it’s the world of coaches, course makers and solopreneurs. This industry is growing because anyone that is getting successful by working for themselves is getting too busy and need help because they can’t do everything by themselves.

Where is the best place to find clients and/or opportunities?

Find out where they HANG OUT! This is one of those obvious/not-so-obvious answers. Once you have decided on your niche and industry that you want to pursue, start by doing some market research and then find out where you can find them. This could include everything from local conventions in person to specific Facebook groups (There is a Facebook group for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING). LinkedIn is another great resource that is overlooked so often. The first step in getting clients is to build relationships. LinkedIn is a great platform for creating these relationships.

How do I figure out what skills I have if I have no experience in marketing or business?

You do NOT need to have experience in marketing or business to be successful at freelancing. Skills such as organizing, scheduling, and basic administrative tasks are perfect for clients who are looking for an extra hand in getting everyday tasks done. If you are still struggling to find out what skills you are best at, I urge you to reach out to your network. Turn to your friends, family, co-workers or even past employers and ask them: What skills am I good at? If I could show or teach you something what would it be? What do I do that I am good at? Sometimes it’s hard to see these things in ourselves but is seen easily by the people closest to us.

What pay is realistic for someone just getting into freelancing?

How much you make depends on how much time you are willing to invest. There is a module in my program where I will give you a formula that will help you figure out what your rate should be. I also encourage going with project based pricing vs hourly rate. Your value and the problems that you solve are worth more than what you can accomplish in 60 minutes.

When setting your pay rate there are a few questions you should ask yourself:

  • What are my financial goals?
  • Do I want to leave a 9-5 job and if so, how much money will I need to be made to compensate that?
  • How much time do I have to work my freelancing business each week?

Do hourly jobs vs. Fixed pay jobs make a difference in your overall long-term success?

In my opinion, trying to find a smaller number of long-term clients is more beneficial. If you are only serving clients once or twice and then moving on, you will have to spend a lot more time marketing yourself and finding more clients. By making yourself part of your client’s team, you create a relationship with them so that they will WANT to continue paying you over and over.

How do you know you are ready to be a VA? I can manage emails and I’m ok with social media, but am I good enough? My biggest fear is rejection and failure.

YES, you are absolutely good enough! You can start honing your skills now. Start by working on things that you ARE naturally good at and work on becoming an expert in them. If emails are your jam, start researching email management systems such as MailChimp or Constant Contact for example. The most important part is get started! To keep building your confidence, continue learning and while finding small successes quickly.

Does your training cover the administrative side of the business?

As overwhelming as it may sound, the program covers EVERYTHING. I literally cover all the software that I currently use for all my clients. While it is comprehensive, there is a balance of hitting the high points to cover everything in the 12 weeks. For example: One module will touch on Social Media, but will not go through full tutorials on how to become a full-time social media manager and strategist. My program does cover all areas for how to set up your freelancing business from a logistical and organizational standpoint. Furthermore, I also teach you how to apply these skills to your client’s businesses as well.

As a freelancer, how do you manage to stay organized and make sure that your taxes each year are done correctly considering overhead costs, taxes, receipts, supplies, travel etc.?

During the program, I will cover a home-based tax tracker that will help you take a percentage of your dedicated work space so that you benefit from that on your taxes. As far as expenses, this is up to you on how much you want to invest in items such as software, hardware, supplies. Computer and Internet are really the ONLY necessities that you need to get started as a freelancer.  Another great tool that I will introduce is Quickbooks Self-Employed. This will assist you with your taxes and help you to do them properly. This software is inexpensive and helps to manage both income and expenses and connects easily with my bank account, credit card and PayPal. When freelancing you have two options, you can become a sole proprietor or an LLC. I chose to create an LLC to help protect myself and my family from being sued. I have never been nor plan on being sued, this is just what I was most comfortable with.

Do you have any other questions about what it takes to start your freelancing career so that you can quit your 9-5 and spend more time doing what you enjoy with clients you choose and your babies? Head over to the FB group and maybe I’ll just pop in to answer it Live!

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The one thing we’re told as kids that makes great business advice

Childhood is filled with cliches.

Look at how big you’ve gotten. Because I said so! If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Because I said so!

Not everyone is going to like you.

We all heard it as kids, and yet something about it still seems so….defeating.

I was listening to something by Russell Brunson recently and he said, “if you’re not polarizing, you’re nobody.”

While I don’t think he meant for people to be purposefully offensive, what he did mean is “if you don’t stand for something, you stand for nothing.”

We hesitate in business, because we want everyone to like us.

I’m totally guilty, especially when it comes to this blog. I’ve stayed super vague about who I’m actually writing this for at the risk of leaving women behind.

Sometimes the things that are the most uncomfortable for us are also the things we need to do the most.

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What I’ve learned a year after moving my family cross country

It’s almost impossible to believe that it’s been a whole year since my family loaded up in the Yukon and drove the 12 hours south to our new home in Texas.

I was in my first trimester, super sick and exhausted. My husband had already made the move the month before and started his new job, and my mom drove with me and our two kiddos.

I still remember the relief I felt when climbing out of the car and being reunited with my husband.

The guilt as my mom unpacked boxes and watched the kids as I lay nauseated on the couch.

I remember how much I appreciated my dad driving down by himself to deliver our pets and help hang pictures and turn our house into a home.

I can feel the angst in my stomach that I felt as my mom and dad drove away and left us in an unfamiliar place, no longer surrounded by friends and family.

One thought kept circulating back to the front of my mind…

Did we make the right choice?

The summer of 2016 was one of the hardest times in my entire life.

My pregnant body was fatigued and barely functioning in the Houston heat.

There was no down time between finding new doctors, new schools and new clients for my business.

The cross country move left us with credit card debt for the first time in our marriage. Home and car repairs added insult to injury.

I locked my keys in the car on more than one occasion. The AAA service man knew our address.

Most days, my mind struggled to reconcile hormonal stresses with real life ones as I sat alone in my office while the kids were at preschool.

Even with the hardships we faced, this is a happy story.

In one year, I went from one of the lowest points in my life, to the highest.

Our kids have flourished over the past year. They’ve learned to swim! They’ve grown so big they needed new bicycles to ride to the neighborhood park.

Daphne will enter Kindergarten with basic reading, writing and mathematics skills, a memorized address, an eagerness to learn, and loads of confidence.

Henry is finally potty trained and enjoys showing off his days of the week and months of the year songs, usually accompanied with a silly dance.

Our sweet Audrey, our only “true” Texan, was born in this new home of ours and has brought a fresh burst of happiness to fill our lives in ways we didn’t know we needed.

Justin is around more than he ever was able to be before. He has flexibility, hobbies, home projects and time for exercise that all got stuck on pause as a hustling entrepreneur managing various stores and employees in Kansas City.

My business has been growing steadily and transformed in natural ways that highlight what I love and what I’m good at. I am excited about every project I’m working on and the women entrepreneurs I get to work with.

I have friends I cannot imagine my life without – people I’d never met if we didn’t make the move.

Not everyday is roses, believe me. But at this moment, a year after our move, I am perfectly fulfilled.

It certainly wasn’t a walk in the park, but moving with small children, an ambitious husband and a new business taught me a lot about what we’re capable of as a family. Here are my big takeaways a year after moving my family cross country.

moving my family cross country

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

No one said it’s easy to put yourself out there. In fact, even when you’re an extrovert like I am it can be pretty awkward to show up somewhere unfamiliar and insert yourself in a conversation. However, if you sit at home waiting for a dozen new friends to show up at your door you will be sorely disappointed. I knew I’d need socialization immediately, so I joined a mom’s group, chatted it up with other parents at the pool and participated in a professional women’s organization. Also, I figured the quicker I learn my way around, the less unfamiliar this new place would feel. I looked at maps online, spent weekends exploring parks with the family and drove around memorizing street names to get acquainted with the city.

People are kind.

I have to confess something that may sound silly now: when we first moved here I had nightmares that by the time my kids’ birthdays rolled around we wouldn’t have any friends to invite to their birthday party! I laugh now, because the outpouring of genuine friendship toward my family over the last year was abundant. Friends from my moms’ group would text me randomly or swing by unexpectedly {with gifts!} to see how I was adjusting. When I was on bedrest, neighbors would offer to have the kids over for a playdate. After the baby was born, we had food for weeks. And yes, even my kids had plenty of friends to help them celebrate turning a year older. We are eternally grateful for all of the kindness people showed us this past year.

Family is everything.

Not many couples with young children decide to move away from family. Truth be told, I wouldn’t really recommend it unless you have a phenomenal reason. We left more than just my parents, cousins, aunt and uncles, and friends when we left Kansas City. We left a support system, built in babysitters and emergency contacts. While we’ve built relationships with neighbors and friends who can fill some of these gaps, there are still many {many!} times I wish my parents were just down the street.

Kids are people, too.

I knew that my family’s happiness rested greatly on my shoulders. It was a pressure that oftentimes felt like a burden when I was feeling anything but happy. Overwhelmed? Yes. Frustrated? At times. Lonely? You bet ya. Yet I was always keenly aware that our children would look to me to see how I was adjusting, before coming to their own conclusions about this new community. I did this quite imperfectly, but even if I had I think our children would have struggled a bit. Our kids’ behavior was pretty rough the first few months after the move until they settled into a new routine at school. I’m sure the news of the new baby didn’t help. Kids are resilient, but they are also people who deserve time and space and a little bit of grace to adjust to change.

Life is what you make it.

I think the number one reason we’ve embraced our new home is because we came in to this new chapter with a positive attitude. No body forced my husband to accept the job opportunity. There were times when it was extremely stressful, lonely, and even scary. But when we decided to move we also decided to make it a fun adventure. For the most part we’ve really stuck to that, and when we waiver it’s a good reminder to set our perspective straight again.

Our story isn’t over.

We went back to Kansas City last month for a whole week. Our family of 5 stayed with my aunt and uncle and their family of 7. Every night was a slumber party! It was so great to spend quality time with family, our old neighbors, and friends. We got asked by almost everyone when we’d be moving back. It’s funny, because when we left, we always said we could always just move back if we weren’t happy. So it was almost hard to break it to them that we weren’t. Not anytime soon anyway. Texas may end up being just one chapter in our lives or a few, or maybe it will finish the whole book. Either way, we know it will turn out great.

 

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How my husband became a short order cook {In his words}

With Father’s Day approaching, I was brainstorming ways that I could incorporate my husband into this blog. I already talk about him, so I asked him if he’d have any interest in contributing his thoughts on my blog. He agreed.

I thought he may write about what it’s like to be married to a working mom, but what he came up with is so much better. It shows the love he has for his children, and the selfless spirit with which he entered our marriage and still shows me today {almost 8 years later}. I rely heavily on him to help with the kids and the house so that I have the time to pursue my own career, too. We are a team and I literally could not do it without him. I loved seeing what “help” looks like through his eyes, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

Happy Father’s Day to all of the amazing dads out there!

In relationships we’ve all had moments where we admit we need help. As a husband, sometimes getting off the couch for a beer during a football game seems insurmountable. Going hungry seems justified considering the effort it would take to rise, hunt, and capture the appropriate snack, if it even exists. I thank my wife for her vigilance during these times.

It’s ok to ask for help, we all need it. Sometimes the help is for big things, and sometimes it’s for small things (football snacks may fall under the latter). Relationships, especially marriage, rely on honesty and admitting when you need something.

It wasn’t until we bought our first house that Lauren and I really took notice of each other’s habits and rituals. (Enter cliche remark about my toilet water magically turning blue here.) Early in our careers, no time was more stressful than the morning routine: hitting snooze on the alarm, showering, grooming, coffee, news, and breakfast all while trying to get out of the door on time. So when my wife asked for help in the morning, after pointing out she took more time to get ready for work than I did, I decided to tackle breakfast. What started as a bowl of cereal here, a fried egg and toast there, became something much bigger.

After eight years, three houses, three cities, three kids, two cats and many burnt waffles later, I’ve become known around the house as “Chef”. It’s a title I’ve earned, and I hope it sticks around for a long, long time.

Making my family breakfast has become one of the greatest experiences I’ve had as a father. (And it all started with my wife asking for help!) What’s especially great is that I get to recreate  the experience every morning. It’s starting the day with one small accomplishment before I set out for the rest of a hectic day full of unknowns. Plus, there’s something selfishly satisfying about curing hunger in the morning.

I love making biscuits and gravy from scratch, with scrambled eggs, bacon and potatoes. The entire house fills with smells of breakfast and the family gathers around our kitchen island to share a meal, be silly and discuss our day. It’s thirty minutes of family time.

The Chef doesn’t always get to cook what he wants. (I’d pick grits and corn beef hash, a true Okie at heart. I just can’t help myself!) Lately pancakes have been at the top of the menu and I’m happy to oblige. Henry and Daphne love fried cinnamon apples on top, something my Mom used to make for me growing up. Lauren may want protein instead of carbs, so I’ll scramble some eggs. On a busy morning the kids may want cereal when I have oatmeal out. Hard boiled eggs go over better than fried, and omelets get me extra brownie points from the wife.

It’s the first meal of the day, why not let them have a say!

A simple rule in our kitchen: if you have the freedom of choice, it starts with a healthy one. Our kids have grown to love bell peppers, carrots, snap peas, apples, grapes and oranges. There’s always an exception to the rule, and ours sits adjacent to the coffee pot (a container holding mint chocolate chip cookies and, as of this writing, notably low. Something the family tends to be on edge about.)

Despite countless authors and celebrities advising parents not be short order cooks – I say do it. At least for breakfast.

With all the routines kids have these days offering them a little freedom in the morning can be refreshing. Eating habits shouldn’t be controlled, they should be influenced. I have a short menu of breakfast meals my wife and kids know they can order from. When they come into the kitchen for breakfast I’m not just a cook, I become a teacher, a counselor, a friend, and a father. (Life’s not perfect, sometimes I go full dictator. Like if yogurt starts flying like shrapnel in a Michael Bay film.)

There’s so much focus on family time at dinner, which is enjoyed in my home, as well. But there’s something special about breakfast. A new day, a fresh meal, and a time for me to connect with my family. My wife asked me for help, but she ended up giving me the best job I’ve ever had. Put that on your toast and eat it.

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How to build confidence as a working mom

Last weekend my family went to San Antonio. My husband had to go for work, so we all decided to pile in the car and tag along.

The trip itself could be several blog posts, covering everything from how to survive in a theme park by yourself with 3 kids {what was I thinking?} to what to pack for a road trip.

But one thing that stood out to me during this whirlwind vacation was how much I’ve changed over the last few years.

When I first became a mom, I was terrified to nurse in public. I was one of the lucky ones who never struggled with breastfeeding. Yet, whenever I left the house I would typically excuse myself to go somewhere private to nurse. Because of my insecurity, I fed my baby anywhere from a parked car to a public restroom and many places in between.

By the time number two came along, my confidence improved. While I still preferred privacy, if I absolutely had to I would get out a cover and work through it with a wiggling baby.

Fast forward to baby number three, and I’m nursing on the park bench at Sea World San Antonio without thinking twice.

So what’s changed? Well for one thing, I’ve learned how to build confidence as a working mom.

I have also decided not to let what other people think affect my choices.

We were on the go all weekend, and while I still prefer to be modest, and use a cover {when she’ll let me} I feed her wherever and whenever it’s time. I no longer let the potential discomfort of onlookers get in the way of me feeding my child.

The truth is, most of them could probably care less what I’m doing or how I’m doing it anyway. I have no doubt that much of my insecurity was just that – mine!

Sure, there’s always going to be a critic, but I’ve grown to realize they are the exception and not the rule. And I’m definitely not going to let these guys get in the way of me feeding my baby… or anything else for that matter.

As a blogger, many of the same insecurities pop up. Will anyone care what I have to say? What will people think? Will they disapprove? Or will I be accepted?

These are the mental roadblocks we will all encounter at some point in our lives. It’s up to us to decide if we will drive through them, or turn back.

Would you make the same choices if no one else was around to judge you?

In other words, how much are you allowing what other people think about you impact your life as a working mom?

Now, I’m not saying that our choices don’t affect other people. In fact, I actually think it is important to consider other people in our decision making. But when it comes down to it, no one knows what’s best for you than YOU!

Maybe you’re considering heading back to work after staying home with your kiddos, and you’re worried you’ll get criticized for putting them in childcare.

Perhaps you have a fabulous new job opportunity, but you feel nervous to tell your current boss whom you love.

Whatever the situation, here’s how you to get what you want and build confidence as a working mom.

Stop trying to please others.

You really want to start working from home to ditch the long commute, but you can’t stop thinking about what your co-workers will think about the arrangement. It’s human nature to care what others think about us, but it also holds us back, which isn’t great for our happiness. {Or in my case, the happiness of my hungry baby!} It’s likely that you’re overestimating how much they’ll actually care in the first place. But if they really are upset, you can address their concerns by clarifying the details around your new flex position or encouraging them to request the same. In the end, however, we have to let go of the expectation that we can make everyone happy.

Take control of your life.

It’s time to get into the driver seat, mama. Just as much as you cannot control what other people think, you cannot expect great things to happen in your life if you aren’t willing to go after them. Do you think you deserve a raise, but aren’t sure if your company will go for it? You need to do your research, build your argument and get your tush into your boss’s office ASAP. Start by identifying what it is you want and the first step towards making it a reality. You’ll improve your confidence by being assertive and following through. Plus, that confidence and prepared argument may be just the thing that gets your boss to say yes!

Celebrate your accomplishments with others.

Women in particular tend to have a difficult time celebrating our wins. No one wants to be labeled a bragger… Well, toot toot! While not everyone will be happy for you, you cannot reach big goals without celebrating small wins. By celebrating your accomplishments with a support system that wants you to succeed, you gain momentum and positive energy to tackle whatever’s next for you. Be sure to return the favor to your friends who are killin’ it, and watch your confidence soar!

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Joining an MLM isn’t the easiest path to becoming a Work From Home Mom

I know a ton of women who would jump at the chance to be a work from home mom.

In fact, I have someone reaching out to me about once a week to pick my brain about how I’ve been able to do it over the last year and a half.

As someone who made the leap from working full time outside of the home, to part time from home for myself, and was able to supplement my previous income in less than a year, I totally get it!

I was there not long ago. Craving more time with my children during the day. Needing something that was just mine. Having to feed my desire to create and produce.

It doesn’t always feel like there are a ton of options for working moms to have it all.

Luckily, many companies are finally starting to embrace the importance of family benefits, such as flexible schedules and better parental leave policies. The sense of balance it provides to employees, moms in particular, has kept more women in the workplace, which leads to more women in senior roles, which leads to more female decision makers, which leads to better family advocates…you see where I’m going.

Some women become mothers and their sense of fulfillment comes from staying at home. This is wonderful, and a privilege for those who are able to do so!

The truth is, more and more couples are relying on a dual income to support their families. Women often feel torn when they have to choose between staying home with their children and avoiding high childcare costs, or heading back to work and spending less time raising their kiddos.

If they’re at a job they don’t love with zero flexibility, they understandably would be seeking out other options.

Enter a flood of groups invitations and private messages and friend requests on your Facebook page.

Everyone from your best friend in 3rd grade to your husband’s coworker’s sister-in-law is probably trying to get you to buy leggings, jewelry, cookware, or fill-in-the-blank from them.

It’s no surprise that multi-level marketing companies have become incredibly popular.

A lot of the products are terrific! I have supported dozens of women in my community over the years and will continue to do so.

It’s also no wonder that when you’re Facebook “friend”sends you an offer to start your own business, and make money throwing parties with your girlfriends, your interest is peeked.

You can become your own boss, set your own hours and get away from the job that’s making you miserable.

Score, right?!

I know that’s how I felt when I was struggling to balance my career and my family and was asked to join an MLM. I quickly jumped at the opportunity! If I’m honest, I’m still signed up as a consultant so that I can take advantage of the discount myself. I stopped “working my business” years ago.

If you’re considering becoming a new business owner through an MLM, it’s important that you understand how it will actually work: you will be selling the company’s product on its behalf {they profit} and your recruiter will be earning a commission on your sales {she profits}.

That isn’t to say that you won’t profit.

But in my personal experience, they know they won’t get you to sign up if you understand just how small your margins will be.

They don’t explain that while you will get a great discount on products, you will need to buy a website, purchase supplies to help you sell, and possibly even invest in product up front {all from the same company you now work for}. Not to mention the “starter” fee and taxes.

Instead, they will hook you with every woman’s dream: to create a better life for your family financially, find fulfillment personally, and have a blast while doing it!

Who doesn’t want that?

Then, she reels you in with the success stories of the few and far between.

She isn’t doing it to be misleading. These success stories do exist. And it’s exactly what she wants for herself and her family. Maybe even for you, too! But she also knows she won’t become one of them without you on her team.

Just like other entrepreneurs, MLM business owners work hard for their accomplishments.

This post is in no way to diminish their efforts. However, none of them made a million dollars selling products for a company. They made a million dollars convincing you to sell them.

For you to be successful in a MLM business, you too will only be extremely profitable by pitching the dream to others. That’s literally how these businesses work!

It’s also the reason that 50% of women who join one of these companies leaves within the first year, and 90% have quit by year 5. I fall in the latter, myself.

Now, if you love the product and the idea of growing a team, by all means go for it! Or, if you’re after some extra spending money at the end of each month, you can accomplish that by selling product alone. You will likely have a costumer in me.

However, if you are looking to enrich your life and your bank account, I encourage you to explore other options before buying “a business in a box”.

Create your own work from home mom business!

Chances are you have a unique talent – a product or service – that you can market and sell on your own. There will still be business costs and taxes. There will also be a ton of hard work and some risk.

On the bright side, 80% of new businesses make it past their first year and 50% are still kicking after 5 years. I like my odds.

Have you ever started an MLM business? What was your experience? Tell me in the comments!