“The risks may be big and scary, but the rewards are even greater if you go for it!”

Q&A with Nellie Akalp

When I was approached by Nellie Akalp’s publicist about featuring her story in an interview for my blog, I was immediately impressed. Not only did phrases like “serial entrepreneur” and “mother of four” jump out at me as someone I could definitely relate to, but as I read her story I realized she was one working mom from whom I could also learn a thing or two.

Nellie Akalp started her first business with $100 and sold it 8 years later for millions. If I don’t have your attention yet, instead of retiring early, Nellie got back into the industry with the launch of her current business, now recognized on the Inc. 5000 list of fastest-growing privately-held companies in America.

I chatted with Nellie about her entrepreneurial story and how she and her husband started a business literally from nothing and grew it into a multi-million dollar venture, only to turn around and do it all over again while raising their four children!

Self-promo time. Tell me about your business.

I’m an entrepreneur, mother of four, author, speaker, and business expert. As the founder and CEO of CorpNet.com I work with entrepreneurs daily to help them start, grow and maintain their businesses. CorpNet is an online legal document filing service that provides new and existing business owners with the most cost effective and comprehensive products and services for starting a business whether it be setting up a sole proprietorship/partnership, incorporating or setting up an LLC, or running and even expanding a business. We help entrepreneurs incorporate, form LLCs, file DBAs and more on a daily basis. For those with an existing business CorpNet.com can help with corporate compliance to ensure the business owner is kept up to date on important due dates each year.

Before CorpNet, you ran a success company that was eventually acquired by Intuit for $20 million. Why’d you head back to work?

After my non-compete ran out with the old company, I realized that I was too bored, too passionate and way too young to take on an early retirement! Plus I was still so deeply in love and passionate about small business and helping other entrepreneurs start their startups, so I decided to start it all over again with CorpNet.com. It’s never been about the money for me; it’s about creating something out of nothing and watching it explode and create solutions that solves problems.

You’ve helped hundreds of thousands of businesses get off the ground. From your experience, what’s the biggest factor holding back future business owners?

I think what holds most entrepreneurs back is the lack of willingness to take risks. Being too afraid to try new things, implement ideas, think big or looking stupid in front of friends, colleagues and loves ones really causes people to hold off on going after their business dreams and goals. The risks may be big and scary, but the rewards are even GREATER if you go for it!

Have you ever failed? How did you overcome it?

I have failed more than a hundred times and I am still not done failing. In order to be successful, failure is definitely a pre-requisite to absolute true success. I look at failure as a message that there are bigger and better opportunities lying ahead that must be seized, and seldom look at it as a negative. In a nutshell, failure is a part of life, if you don’t fail, you will never learn, if you don’t learn, you can never change and evolve as a person.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true” remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”I look at failure as a message that there are bigger and better opportunities lying ahead” @CorpNetNellie[/tweetthis]

What is the best part about being an entrepreneur?

The ability to do the things you love to do the most and being able to do it on your own time and terms without any limitations is really, in my opinion, the best! In addition, being able to have it all, raising children and having an amazing career all at the same time, where I can inspire and motivate other mommy entrepreneurs that you can have it all is just the best!

What does a typical day look like for you?

In my life, trying to balance running a very fast-paced, growing business, and balancing it with managing a household of 4 kids and having a healthy marriage requires planning and routine. Here is a rough snapshot:

6:00am – wake up, shower and drink coffee, make breakfast for kids, check email
6:30am – wake up kids
7:00am – feed kids
7:20am – take kids to school
7:45am – get to gym and workout
9:00am – work till 3:00
3:00pm – pick up my daughter and spend one-on-one time with her until we pick up other three kids from middle school and high school
3:45pm – pick up the three other kids take everyone to get a snack
4:30pm – get home and help with homework and start dinner if no games after school
6:00pm – dinner with family
7:00pm – take kids to dance or other after school activities (either my husband or I while the other attends to the other kids and does homework)
9:00pm – bedtime for kids
9-11:00pm – me time where I make myself a tea, take a bath and time with Phil where we watch a movie or just chat about the day
11:00pm – bedtime for me and it starts all over again the next morning!

Your husband is also your business partner. How do you split the responsibilities at work and at home?

It’s all about being organized, planning ahead and staying one step ahead of your game. Work stuff will come up at home and family stuff will come up at work. It’s bound to happen – after all, I am married to my husband and business partner! For us though, we don’t try and totally separate the two because that just makes things more complicated. We deal with what comes up as it arises. If you plan ahead and know your schedule and stuff does come up, you’re more prepared on how to deal with it if you do. Again, a total balance should never be the key, but you should try to have both aspects of your life exist in harmony.

You have four kiddos. Has becoming a mom influenced your professional goals?

Absolutely 150%! It makes me want to work even harder, but more efficiently and qualitatively because time is so scarce and these kids grow up so fast. I know my time is limited with them. I want to spend every waking minute with them when they are not at school or not at an after school sport or activity. It also has made my #1 goal be that I will never ever work for anyone else and will always be my own boss.

What do you hope they take away from your success?

I want my children to know that true success comes from a ton of hard work and never giving up. If you fail, it’s not the failure that matters. It’s how you rise from it and get up that makes you a winner.

What’s your best piece of advice for working moms?

The three things I would share with working moms are:

Set Goals Early and Often. I think a lot of new entrepreneurs don’t think about setting goals when they first start out. They just want to get the business started and begin making money. But setting goals is a really easy way to set your sights on where you want to go. You might not hit your sales target for the quarter, but if you do your best to get there, you’ll likely do better than you would have without that goal. And don’t just set one goal and leave it at that. I like to set new goals every year and even every month to keep myself and my team moving in the right direction.
Be Willing to Take Risks. You’re already a bit open to risks, or you wouldn’t be starting a business! But don’t be afraid to try new things, implement ideas, and think big. The risks may be bigger, but so will the rewards.
Protect Yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I have told new entrepreneurs to protect your business and yourself! Forming a corporation or filing an LLC is such a simple thing to do, but the benefits extend long beyond your first year and it’s the best way to protect your personal assets should your business be sued down the line.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true” remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”It’s not the failure that matters. It’s how you rise from it and get up that makes you a winner.” @corpnetnellie[/tweetthis]

What keeps you sane?

Plan a vacation, even if it’s tough. Set boundaries with technology. Make time to exercise. Take Breaks during the day. Prioritize your day and limit your tasks and goals to 3-5 per day. Don’t try to control everything and just go with the flow. Reduce distractions during the day. Establish a firm “end time” to your day {and work week}. Physical and emotional wellbeing is really important, but getting spiritual something is also a huge must for me. It keeps me present and in tune with my higher power.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I don’t think I have it all and even if I did, I would still want more! I would still want to work, because it has never ever for one minute been about the money for me. We could have retired after our first business was acquired and I’m sure many people would have. But for us, it just didn’t work and I didn’t feel like I “had it all.” Yes, I like to be able to go to bed at night knowing that I have money to pay my bills and have no stress. But, more important to me is being able to watch and see people’s lives change and transform in the work I do and services I provide. That’s why I still work and still run a business!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016

Want to be happier? Maybe it’s time to quit your job.

In case you missed it, 2016 is the year of the female entrepreneur.

More and more women are taking their professional lives into their own hands and starting a business.

So what’s so appealing about being a business owner anyway?

Do moms who own a business work fewer hours?

Not necessarily.

Do they have fewer responsibilities?

Not at all.

Do they have less stress at work?

Definitely not.

In fact, most business owners would probably say they work more hours, have more responsibilities and carry more stress about their companies than employees do.

But the one thing I’ve learned from 9 months of interviewing working moms is that those who work for themselves say the biggest perk is the freedom and flexibility it brings to their lives. Heck, that’s exactly what I was looking for when I left my 9-5, too.

Moms who run their own businesses are able to put their family first when they need to and clock the extra hours when it’s convenient for them. Also, most entrepreneurs have a passion for their work that makes it not feel so much like, well, working. This brings them more satisfaction at home and at the office.

It turns out my small community of real working moms fits into a bigger theory:

Entrepreneurs are among the happiest people.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Want to be happier? Maybe it’s time to quit your job.[/tweetthis]

This has been my motivation behind starting this blog all along: to take the guilt out of being a working mom and reveal the happy, fulfilling lives we can enjoy as kick-butt career women and super involved parents.

You may be thinking I’m nuts. You love your job. You’re doing fulfilling work and you have an employer who values you and understands that you’re a mom first. {Go you! Seriously, share where you work with other mamas!}

But maybe when you read that you immediately stopped and said to yourself, “Wait! I want to be happier! Should I quit my job and start a business?”

The truth is, being a business owner isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay.

Perhaps you just need a new job at a company with more flex-time. Or a better boss. Maybe staying home with your kids as a full time mama would bring you more happiness.

But it’s possible that you’ve always had the entrepreneurial itch and simply don’t know how to get started.

I’ve been working through this over the last few years myself. When I took a leap of faith and quit my job last fall to go out on my own it was terrifying! There were so many things to consider…what if no one buys what I’m selling? What if I fail? What if?

Here are 3 things to ask yourself before pursuing the entrepreneurial life:

1. Do I have a good idea I’m passionate about?

There’s no point in quitting your job to start a business if you don’t know what your business is! Two things are going to be important to your success. First, make sure it’s a good idea – meaning someone will actually pay you for it. You’re going to need to make money, ya know? Second, make sure it’s something you believe in. You’re going to spend a lot of time working on it, so it will help if you don’t get sick of it two months in.

If you have your good idea and your passion ready to go, it’s time to nail down the specifics. What products or services will you offer? What will you charge for them? Where will you sell them? Who is your ideal client? Step 1: write a business plan.

2. Am I prepared to work my butt off?

Entrepreneurs may be happier, but no one said they have it easier. Especially in the beginning. Starting a business will not be a walk in the park in your yoga pants sipping lattes. {Okay, maybe if that’s what you want to do you can carve out the time…it’s about flexibility, remember?} You will need to work hard to make things happen and drive your company forward. You may need to hire people to help you, which means that you’ll need the money to pay them. Without that steady paycheck from your day job, the pressure is all on you to perform. So make sure you’re ready to put in the blood, sweat and tears to get your business off the ground.

3. What is holding me back?

You’ve been sitting on your good idea for years. You know you’re a super hard worker. So, why haven’t you gotten off the bench yet? When I quit my job, I was the primary bread-winner {my entrepreneur husband’s business was doing well, but much of the money was reinvested back into the company}, the family was on my employer’s health insurance and our savings wasn’t quite where it needed to be. I felt an immense amount of pressure to stay put and be the stable one.

While all of those excuses are valid, the decision to become an entrepreneur or not came down to one simple word: fear. Ultimately I decided I wasn’t going to let a word stop me from going after what I wanted.

I want to hear from you! Do you think your work-life plays a role in your overall happiness? Has fear ever held you back from going after what you wanted?

SIDE NOTE: Let me end by saying that I am a firm believer that happiness is choice, first and foremost. The authority to chose happiness in life is yours alone. So whether you’re an entrepreneur, super hard worker, full time mama, or all three, I hope you find happiness in whatever you pursue!

September 28, 2016September 30, 2016

“Unless you try, you’ll never know”

Q&A with Lainie Sevante Wulkan

When I had the pleasure of spending the day with Lainie Sevante Wulkan at the FemCity Day of Positivity a few weeks ago, I knew I wanted to pick her brain for tips for working moms.

Like most entrepreneurs, Lainie hardly fills her days doing just one thing. In addition to co-owning her company with her husband, she’s the President of FemCity Albuquerque, one of the largest chapters of the national female networking group boasting over 550. {If you’re not familiar with FemCity, check it out!}

Most recently she added author to her list of accomplishments with the publication of her children’s book, Finn’s Giant Leap. {I’m giving away an autographed copy on social media, so be sure to check out my Instagram and Facebook pages to enter to win. Your kiddos will thank you! Like Finn’s Giant Leap on Facebook while you’re at it!}

Self-promo time. Tell me about your business.

I’m a Media Executive and co-own a business called Cinder Cone Media Worldwide with my husband, Film Composer and Music Producer, Howard Wulkan. Cinder Cone is the umbrella for The LAB Recording Studios, Zeta Global Radio, an online conscious talk show with listenership in over 50+ countries, Cinder Cone Records, an independent music label with distribution via Universal and Cinder Cone Events, conscious global event productions that make an impact in the world.

If you weren’t doing that, what would you be?

I am SO in my passion with my business, it’s my second love next to my husband and two daughters. {Oh, and 9 pets.}

When did you know you wanted to be an entrepreneur?

I grew up with a single mom who primarily was a serial entrepreneur. She had everything from a clothing store, to antique shop to doing home jewelry parties {back in the day when direct sales weren’t even a home thing yet} and eventually direct sales with every product out there. Being self-employed was pretty much all I knew. I have had a few corporate jobs in my long career, but they’ve truly felt the most foreign. Helming the ship is definitely where I am most comfortable and feel the most free to be me.

What’s the best part of running your own company?

The best party of running my own company is being able to make my own schedule. I have a lot to juggle between my children’s activities, my pets’ needs, the business, and multiple travel schedules. Having the flexibility to work out my schedule as needed and even fit some “Me Time” in there is invaluable. There are those days where it’s like, “today is the day. I am getting a massage and buying a new toothbrush.” The freedom to do the simple things is so important to me. I’m accounted for by so many people – my family, my staff, our artists, our sponsors, our clients, the press, etc. It’s about the balance and finding the time management to handle it all with grace and know that I have the ability to say NO when needed.

Tell me about a time you failed in business and how did you overcome it?

Unfortunately, failures have occurred through my career. Yet, after wounds heal and reflection has allowed its time to bring greater awareness, failure truly does teach. Some of my biggest failures have been in trusting to a fault in people that haven’t been aligned with the same integrity wheel I roll on. As a result, I’ve had ideas “conveniently borrowed” {or should I just all out say – STOLEN} and have watched some projects grow without proper credit.

I overcame it with grace. I learned that no one wants to hear a squeaky wheel, victim vent. So I’ve learned to trust a different way. I trusted in the belief that the truth always prevails and that a leopard doesn’t change its spots. If someone was dishonest to me, most likely they will be that way with others and exposure of the true path always shows. So I overcame obstacles as such through patience, trust in the universal laws of karma and also garnered new levels of discernment I would have not mastered had I not had the experiences of those failure opportunities.

What is a typical day like for you?

What I love so much is that every day is different and I never know what to expect. One day I’m interviewing leaders that are changing the world or kids doing extraordinary achievements at such a young age {like today’s show for this Saturday’s ZGR show}, to an impromptu dance party with one of our hip hop artists and their entourage. It’s never the same and I wouldn’t change it. So much creativity abounds at Cinder Cone and it’s a wonderful environment for my own children to have that exposure to the arts.

How has motherhood affected your professional goals?

I strive to create a business the girls can be proud of, have fun with it, and if they want, be part of it. My own mother with her multiple businesses needed my help as a single mom. I didn’t have a choice but to be part of it. As a mother, you either learn from your parents and model that behavior to your own family or you do the exact opposite, learning how you once did things, found out what worked, what didn’t and chose a different course. I believe motherhood stared me more into a new direction I wanted as an entrepreneur. Also, having such a creative business allows me to work harder to create the flexible schedule so I can be there for the girls to go on trips when we want and have more opportunity to be at the events they need me at.

If your girls take away one thing from you running a business, what do you think that would be?

I believe my kids are learning the art of flexibility. Our business and I’m sure most self-employed businesses are not 9-5 M-F. Sometimes we work weekends, nights, long hours, holidays. While we do our best to keep to a normal business schedule, there’s nothing normal about the entertainment business. I’d want my children to know that there’s no one shoe that fits all. That everyone finds the path that works for them and they will too. There’s nothing wrong with a set work schedule and paycheck. We teach acceptance of all, everyone. We honor Oneness and Consciousness. My biggest dream is they see that the work we do at Cinder Cone is to help move the world forward in a positive way.

You’ve recently added children’s author to your resume. Tell me about it.

Ahhh. My most cherished project yet. Finn’s Giant Leap came to me in a “dream” or more like I woke up in the middle of the night and got a “message” to write this down. The story poured out of me. I never had any thought to write a children’s book. Yet, now, Finn is such a part of me and soon the world.

The messages are universal for kids and adults: believe in yourself, dream big and know all that we’ve ever needed is already inside. Finn learns patience, humility and victory. He learns the power of friendship. We ALL need friends we can trust and count on and seek being understood. We all are curious even though we are told what’s right and what’s wrong. Yet, we still need to figure it out for ourselves. So many life lessons shown through the eyes Finn the frog and his fairy friend, Syana.

It’s a magical story I can’t wait to share with all. Whether kids are 2 and 3 and just look at the beautiful pictures or they are 10-12 and get the messages, there’s something for everyone and I believe all will be touched by Finn’s Giant Leap. Then comes the sing along CD in October. Now that’s going to be AMAZING! All inspired messages from the book plus an audio narrative of the story by yours truly!

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”Believe in yourself, dream big and know all that we’ve ever needed is already inside.” #GOFINNGO[/tweetthis]

With so much on your plate, what keeps you sane?

Do you know how often I get that? Daily. The other big question is, “do you sleep?” The answer to that one is yes, I LOVE to sleep. I keep sane by living a life of excitement and joy. I get to share all my achievements on a daily basis with my husband. We’re like two little kids, especially when the work day is over and it’s just him and me playing guitar and writing/singing songs together. It’s a magical time to collaborate. I am also an avid book reader and love all things spiritual and esoteric. Meditation and journaling are also in my sanity tool box along with gourmet cooking with both my daughters.

Do you have any tips for working moms?

My best piece of advice for other working moms is to be IN JOY! Do what makes your heart sing and keeps your vibration up high. If you’re a doer, GO DO! Never second guess yourself {i.e. am I neglecting my children by working or any other should’ve, would’ve could’ve.} If you are called to self-express through an endeavor besides mommy hood, GO FOR IT! You’ll feel great about your accomplishments and that joy will reflect in your parenting. Happy Mom, Happy Child! Too many people are always concerned about what others think, say, do. I say, wait for that purpose in your life that lights you up like a Christmas tree and give it a shot. You can always back off if it’s too much. But, unless you try, you’ll never know.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Excellent question and it can be answered differently each and every day in all honestly. Remember asking me what a typical day like? Ditto here. Some days I say YES, I am exactly in my lane and I love the direction I am in, our family is in, our business is in, etc. Then there the days when it feels all too much and I want to check out to the isles of Trinidad and worry mostly about if I should put on SPF 30 or 50. Chances are, I’d get bored and want to jump back into the fray again. I love the balance of my life – the excitement and the calm, the unknown and the known. I think there’s never a final moment of having it all when you are a dreamer like me. There’s always something else to bring to the world. The ideas never stop. And I wouldn’t change a thing!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

September 23, 2016November 23, 2016

My Pregnancy after Miscarriage

This month I received a sobering reminder that it’d been one year since my miscarriage.

Usually my Facebook memories oscillate between semi-embarrassing college posts and photos of my two children. But when last year’s announcement that we had lost our baby at 12 weeks popped up, I sort of went numb.

I couldn’t bring myself to reread it, let alone the hundred plus comments that followed.

As I sat there not reading but no longer scrolling through my newsfeed, I thought about just how much can change in a year.

It took a year to get pregnant with my daughter, our first child.

I peed on so many sticks that year, praying for a plus sign, only to start my period an hour later. I remember how devastating it was each time to know that I would have to wait an entire month just to go through it all over again.

And then, twelve months after we first started trying and the day after a trip to my OBGYN to discuss our options, I got a plus sign.

My pregnancy wasn’t easy. I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum a la Kate Middleton. I was hospitalized for dehydration and had to take anti-nausea medicine well into my third trimester just to keep some food and water down.

The labor and delivery wasn’t much prettier, but 23 hours later I was holding my beautiful little girl.

Unlike the year of infertility and excruciating pregnancy, my daughter’s first year of life flew by in an instant. And not long after she turned one, my husband and I were thrilled to find out we were pregnant again.

Sickness ensued.

This pregnancy seemed much harder, because it turns out that running after a one-year-old while trying to swallow your vomit is pretty gross. And yet, I cherished those nine months more than I had the first time, because, no longer a rookie parent, my heart ached in loving anticipation for this second blessing coming my way.

My son was born 4 days before my daughter’s second birthday.

So much can change in a year.

The summer after my son turned one we took a family trip. Somehow in a hotel room with two napping toddlers, my husband and I found a way to get frisky. A few weeks later that plus sign popped up once more – but this time it was met with surprise, and right on schedule a few weeks later, extreme morning sickness.

As much as this third baby was unexpected, I quickly became attached and enjoyed making plans for our party of five. Unable to hide my nausea, I let family, friends and work know about our growing family.

It was at my first doctor’s appointment at 12 weeks that we learned there was no longer a heartbeat.

Even with my husband by my side, I have never felt so alone.

For months after the miscarriage, I wouldn’t even talk about having another baby with my husband. The idea of putting my body through another pregnancy to end up without a baby again was too much to consider.

A family of four we were meant to be, I told myself. I would try to convince myself that I shouldn’t feel so devastated, because I was fortunate enough to have my two babies at home. I constantly reminded myself again how lucky I was.

The truth is, my pep-talks weren’t working, and the months that followed didn’t get any easier. And a friend and neighbor’s growing belly was a constant reminder of what I was no longer meant to have.

As my precious lost baby’s due date approached, my emotions were unpredictable and almost unbearable. The whole experience had been so personal, and while my husband offered boundless support, I continued to feel incredibly alone.

My kids celebrated their second and fourth birthdays just weeks after we were supposed to welcome baby number three. I thought I had gained closure after the due date had passed, until two months later we were shocked to learn we were pregnant again.

I should have been thrilled! Elated! Or, at the very least, I should have felt something, right?

Yet from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I’ve felt completely detached.

I have no doubt that this has been my heart’s way of protecting itself. What if something goes wrong again? If I’m not emotionally attached surely it won’t hurt so badly.

Just like clockwork, I started throwing up at 6 weeks. Other than the fact that I struggled to keep food down all summer, I nearly forgot that another baby was coming.

At my first doctor’s appointment, it took the nurse forever to find a heartbeat and I didn’t even flinch.

How had I become so cold and shut off? Was I a bad mom? When was I actually going to care about this baby?

And then a few weeks ago I started feeling those familiar flutters. The flutters grew into movements. The movements grew into kicks and elbows that I can not only feel but witness as this baby grows inside of me.

My mind is beginning to ease. My heart is filling. And – thank goodness – my expanding stomach is no longer nauseated.

By the beginning of 2017 we will welcome a new baby into our family. Unlike with my first two, this time we decided not to find out the gender. The truth is, it really doesn’t matter. We are ready to become our party of five. And I can finally say I’m excited for all of the changes that will come with the new year.

August 26, 2016

Are you undervaluing yourself?

Are you undervaluing yourself? To be able to answer this question, you have to know what you’re worth. After all, whether you’re offering services or products, before you can sell them you have to set prices, right?

I remember my first gig as an independent contractor.

I was a pre-teen and an excellent babysitter. All of the families I sat for were familiar faces from either my neighborhood or from school. Yet, I remember shrinking, mortified, whenever a parent {a grownup, eek!} would ask me how much I charged.

Looking back I’m fairly certain I never actually answered the question. I think I usually responded with some version of “whatever you think is fair” and gratefully took whatever I was offered.

When I graduated from college and started planning weddings part-time, I encountered the same issue.

How much do you charge?

I argued inside my head for a while. If I go too high, they might not hire me. If I go too low, I may feel like I’m working for nothing! Better stay “competitive” just to be safe.

Not once did I consider what my skills and experience were actually worth to provide the bride and groom and their families with a beautiful, memorable and stress-free wedding.

Because my desire to close the deal outweighed my business savvy at the time, I only charged my full rate once in my four years planning weddings.

Luckily for me, this was just something I was doing on the side. All of the money seemed like a bonus to my income. But as time went on {and I became a mom} I actually started turning more brides away than I was agreeing to help. It just wasn’t worth my time and talents for the amount I was going to charge.

Of course, I could have restructured my pricing if I wanted to make a real go at it in the industry. In the end I realized that while I enjoy being intensely organized and guiding couples through the planning process, weddings just weren’t my passion regardless of my fees.

Asking yourself if you’re being undervalued isn’t just a question plaguing serial freelancers and business owners. Knowing what you’re worth is important when applying for jobs and seeking a raise or promotion from your employer.

How do you determine your value?

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone selling their house? They always seem to think it’s worth more than it is.

When we listed our house this spring, the market was booming and my husband and I were confident that we could turn a profit on our home. My parents, both realtors and representing us, reminded us of a common saying in real estate.

“A house is only worth what someone will pay for it.”

To get a house ready to put on the market, you first have to do your homework. You evaluate comps to see what other homes nearby are selling for. You inspect your home and determine if any updates need to be made to improve the value. Rarely does someone just declare “my house is worth a million dollars!” and get away with it {unless, of course, it’s a million dollar house}.

Next, you invest some time and money. You declutter, clean, and paint. You get any outstanding repairs done. That way, when you slap on the sticker price and open the doors, you’re presenting your home as the best version of itself and hope to get top dollar – and fast!

Your business may not change quite as frequently as the housing market, but when determining your value the same thought process should occur.

You are educated, qualified and prepared to be doing whatever it is you’re doing. Next step? You need to know what your services or products are worth, so you start with market research. Then, find your ideal client and ask if they’d be willing to pay what you’re asking. Then, before you hit the pavement, make sure you’ve fine tuned whatever it is you’re offering. Ask your friends and family for feedback. Your products and services should be something you are proud to stand behind.

Once you know what you’re worth, don’t accept anything less.

Ultimately, only you will be able to advocate for your awesomeness. By identifying your ideal client, you’ve done yourself a huge favor by also establishing that your business may not be for everyone. There may be those that cannot afford your services or don’t appreciate your product.

And that’s okay.

Whether you’ve got a job to do or a business to run, I hope you feel empowered to do so while earning the compensation you deserve. You’re worth it.

August 23, 2016

The New Normal

The other day I went out to lunch with an old friend. She’s currently on maternity leave after having her second child. While I think she looks fabulous, you can still tell she is a tad tired in that I’ve-got-a-newborn-who-isn’t-sleeping-through-the-night-yet sort of way.

I asked her how she was adjusting to life with two children. She said they were still trying to figure it all out, and asked how I had done with the transition to two kids.

I tried to think back to when my son was born. He’s only two, yet it’s hard to imagine our family before he was in it. {Not to mention the extremely permanent “mommy brain” I’ve suffered as a result of having children altogether.}

It was exhausting.

Why did it seem so different the second time around?

Would things ever go back to normal?

On the one hand, I wasn’t faced with the newness of each mom-task like I was when my daughter was born. You can read a million books and Google your heart out, but nothing truly prepares you for parenthood.

With my daughter I was able to make her the sole focus of my attention. This time, as my husband left for work each morning and I realized I would spend my maternity leave outnumbered, I went into survival mode.

I nursed my son while simultaneously helping my newly potty-trained daughter use the toilet.

I let my son fuss a little bit longer than usual in his swing to finish making my daughter’s snack.

I woke my son up from his nap – on more than one occasion – to pick up my daughter from a friend’s house {something I wouldn’t have dared with my firstborn}.

I could definitely relate to my tired friend. The transition to two children is exhausting. But it is also fleeting.

As hectic as those early days were chasing a toddler after a sleepless night with a newborn, they soon mellowed thanks to new routines, better communication, and a little bit more patience.

We settled into our new normal.

I encouraged my friend to hang in there. Just six weeks post-partum and she looked like a rock star. She too will find her new normal soon enough.

Our conversation really got me thinking about all of life’s changes. Our inability to control them – or even predict some of them. And our ability to decide how we choose to handle them.

My family went through a lot of changes this summer and we’ll encounter another big one in a few short months.

While change can be exciting, it can also be a little intimidating. {And in the case of an infant….or moving…exhausting.}

Maybe it’s a new job. Or a layoff.

Maybe it’s a new city. Or returning to live with your parents.

Maybe it’s a new school. Or leaving your kids for the first time.

{Shout out to my grieving back-to-school mommy friends. One sent her sweet first-born off to Kindergarten. The other sent her “baby” away to college. They’ve had five and eighteen years to prepare for this moment, but how do you really get yourself ready for such a milestone besides loading up on tissue boxes?}

Change, whether predictable or completely unexpected, is a part of life. It turns our regular routine on its head and alters the version of “normal” that we’ve become accustomed to.

Without change, there’s no growth.

All of our stories are a work in progress. Embrace the changes that life throws at you. Sometimes it’s how we overcome those changes that make our stories worth telling.

You will find your new normal soon enough.

August 17, 2016

“I woke up one day and asked myself why I wasn’t following my passion”

Q&A with Amy Neil

Have you ever wondered what it what be like to ditch your 9-5 to follow your passion?

A self proclaimed “mom boss,” Amy Neil has always known that she wanted to help people. Previously a collegiate coach, she traded in people for their pooches full-time.

With the support of her husband, some amazing mentors, and dedication to becoming the best in her field, Amy has grown her side passion project into a booming business.

Self-promo time. What do you do?

I work with dogs and their humans. My mission is two fold. First, I bring support to owners whose dogs have behavioral issues ranging from general excitement to severe reactivity and aggression. Second, I use social media to help educate pet dog owners on how to create a healthy and confident relationship with their dog. The result is fewer dogs rehomed or sent to shelters because owners have the tools and support to work with their dogs.

You weren’t always canine bound. How’d you discover your passion for dogs?

I took a windy road to get to where I am. With a bachelors of science in Athletic Training, I did that for a year. I coached the throws events for Columbia University Track and Field, ran a farm, sold cars, and worked at a non profit. Dogs were an underlying theme the whole time, but I never thought of it as a feasible career. Then I had the cliche moment where I woke up one day and asked myself why I wasn’t following my passion. From there I put the blinders on and just started learning all I could about dogs.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”I woke up one day and asked myself why I wasn’t following my passion.”[/tweetthis]

Any tips for dog owners?

I want people to know if they are struggling with their dogs, ask for help. Asking for help is the hardest but most amazing thing that can be done for both humans and dogs. What I do is more than dog training, it’s a passion to help people feel like empowered, confident, and strong leaders. It’s an amazing process, and I am so grateful people allow me the opportunity to be a part of it.

I’ve gotta know. Do you have a favorite breed?

Haha, that’s a tough one! I have a running bucket list of breeds I’d like to own one day, boxer, basset hound, dalmatian, german shepherd, and bloodhound are all on my list. Beagle is my favorite, and not just because I own them! They make great family dogs, love a good run, clever as can be, and if you can harness their nose super eager to please, and don’t take up much space. On the flip side, they can be really big babies, too smart for their own good, and when they listen to their nose they ALWAYS wind up in biggggg trouble. I love both sides!

What is a typical day like for you?

We usually are all up around 6 and I help my husband leave for work. I get Ruby her breakfast then shoot my Morning Chit Chat video everyday. Around 10am Ruby and I head out for dog walks, we walk anywhere from 1 to 3 different dogs a day. Otherwise it’s totally dependent on how many training sessions I have, if I have a dog boarding at the house, or if there is group class that night.

What do you hope your daughter learns from watching you grow your business?

There are a lot of things I hope she learns, but the biggest thing would be to work hard for what you believe in and don’t worry what others think. Always bring positivity to the table. The struggle can get really REAL sometimes. It’s how you deal with the struggles that matters. I want her to understand that perseverance, determination, even a little stubbornness will take her a long way.

How has becoming a mom affected your professional goals?

It’s made me more tenacious and confident in the choices I make. In a really crazy way, becoming a mother afforded me the opportunity to grow my business. I quickly realized going to a traditional job, organizing childcare, giving my time to someone rather than myself just wasn’t working for me. I learned that working for myself was the only choice.

Finish this sentence: Before I had kids, I wish someone had told me…

About the little moments. When a diaper change becomes a tickle fest, the cuddles just after waking up, when “Daddy” gets home, sitting down for dinner. The most special moments happen at the most random times, make sure to enjoy them.

They say it takes a village. Who is your village?

It does take a village! Of course, my husband. My parents, his parents, many other family members alway willing to watch Ruby when we want to sneak away for a minute. Business wise, my coach and mentor Shane Kulman. Shane has helped me break down so many barriers that were in my way. Also, my dog training mentor, Tom Davis. It’s really nice having someone to fall back on in the field. He and I bounce a lot of things back and forth, it’s super affirming for me and helps me remember I am on the right path. By opening myself to all Shane and Tom have to offer, my business has really taken off.

What’s your best piece of advice for working moms?

Somedays you just need to slow down and be with your kids. Don’t ever feel obligated to miss the important moments with your kids because of someone else’s needs and desires. If you feel like you are missing those moments, then it’s time to slow down and re-evaluate what you are trying to accomplish.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I feel like having “it all” means being able to provide support to my family on OUR terms. Not having to work 9-5, providing time for adventures, not missing important moments, not answering to anyone else. Having “it all” means creating the life that works for us, even if it means breaking all the rules.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”Having it all means creating the life that works for us, even if it means breaking all the rules.”[/tweetthis]

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

August 10, 2016

“I lost my job, and needed another door to open”

Q&A with Karrie Kaneda

Karrie Kaneda is a designer, saleswoman, social media marketer and office manager. And that’s just her day job!

Like most mom business owners, Karrie knows how to wear many hats in order to run her company and her household.

Karrie knows the secret to a “happy habitat” is to find the beauty in everything. When life handed her lemons, she turned them into blankets and has been making her customers happy ever since.

Self-promo time. What do you do?

I design blankets for my company I started called Happy Habitat. My throws are made in the US from recycled cotton, and all about pattern and color. I sell them on my website and to stores all over the world.

How’d you get your start?

I lost my job, and needed another door to open. I opened several doors that had no excitement for me. And since money is a necessity, I figured I might as well spend my time doing something that I enjoy. I wanted to spend my days doing something that I could put my whole heart into, not just something that wasted time in my day. After some time playing with patterns, I landed on blankets as a useful, earth friendly way to put what was in my head out to the world, and make some money while doing it.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”I wanted to spend my days doing something that I could put my whole heart into” #happyhabitat[/tweetthis]

What inspires your designs?

More like what doesn’t! I just looked through photos on my iPhone to see what I had taken pics of that have recently inspired me. Here’s a few: a rust colored dead rose, spit out cherry pits, clouds, tiles {always tile! Moorish tiles get me every time!), eagle feathers, graffiti, words and rhymes.

Do you have a favorite pattern?

Don’t let my daughter see this because her and her brother fight over which one of their throws sells the most, but Kenichi is probably my favorite. Kenichi is my son’s middle name {means healthy first born son in Japanese}— he helped come up with the colors for the first one I made. Misaki is my daughter’s middle name, which means beautiful blossom. Her throw has flowers in it inspired by her name.

What has been the best part of owning your own business?

No office politics! I can get things done quickly. I don’t have to follow rules, written or implied- that feels good.

Have you had any setbacks?

Because my personal life and professional are very intertwined, I’d say that I’m affected when my professional/personal life is off balance. It’s been a bit off balance lately and that has set me back in terms of inspiration and efficiency. I haven’t been able to respond as quickly as I like to people and have all these design ideas, but just haven’t been able to implement everything that’s in my head I want to do. All I can do is be healthy and take care of myself the best I can. I’m getting my balance back now, and can feel my mojo coming back! All you can do is move forward.

What is a typical day like for you?

No day is typical, but it starts with getting my kids up and out the door to school. Next up, coffee. Either at home by french press, or I’ll head out to work at a coffee shop and slowly savor a triple short cappuccino. Music is always loud. First thing I’ll do is process orders from my website and for stores— so sending invoices, updating the status of customer orders, getting back to people with questions. So glamorous! 😉 Because I’m constantly making new designs, I’m often busy taking product photos, and editing them. If I’m lucky, I’ll work designing new patterns. And I’m always posting on social media. I then pick my kids up from school and hang out with them— dinner etc., then I’m often back at it at night for a bit.

Finish this sentence. Before I had kids, I wish someone had told me…

Cherish their youth and your time with them, they are only little once. Oh, wait… 10,000 people did tell me that! I’m glad I listened though. I think I’ve savored them, and still do!

Have your professional goals changed since starting a family of your own?

I’ve realized it’s not about money. That’s not what is most important. There is real value to doing things that are just “fun”— you can’t measure that with money. Money will hopefully follow if you are doing what you love and having a good time while doing it. I mean, I’m always thinking how things affect my business, but I do make a lot of business decisions on if it’s a ‘good’ thing to do. Does it create good for someone else? Is it fun? Does it benefit other people? For example, I have done collaborations with people that didn’t make a ton of money, but the friendship that came from it was invaluable. So, I’d say professional goals have changed from just making money, to making experiences.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”Money will hopefully follow if you are doing what you love and having a good time while doing it.”[/tweetthis]

Any advice for a woman looking to start her own business?

Start small. Don’t hire people to do what you can do yourself. Know what your strengths are and use them to your advantage, and know your weaknesses and get help for those things. But first try, and try HARD to do everything yourself. If it’s your business, you should probably know about those things anyway. Owning a businesses isn’t just hiring other people to do things. unless your loaded, then that’s another story. And probably a boring, uninspiring story 😉

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I think I’m pretty darn close! My kids always ask me if I could have any job in the world what would it be? And I always answer the same: I would do exactly what i’m doing now. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. I have 2 funny, beautiful kids that constantly surprise me with their wit and quirks. I am fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with family and friends that is always full of laughter— and what’s better that that? Every day I’m grateful.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

August 5, 2016

The best job I’ve ever had

Earlier this week my husband and I hit a big milestone in our marriage – our 7 year wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going out to lunch while the kids were at school, because we haven’t quite scoped out the babysitter scene since moving to Texas.

It was nice to spend some alone time together, something that with a two and four-year-old at home happens much less often than either of us would like to admit.

We talked about the dreaded 7 year itch in a marriage.

I don’t know if this is actually a thing. We agreed that this last year probably held our fair share of marital hardships between me leaving my job, the miscarriage, and the move, and decided to move on.

What surprised me most about our kids-free conversation was how often reflecting on our life together turned into work talk. And how, for us, the two topics seem to be so intertwined.

Yes, sometimes our marriage feels like work. But I mean work-work.

Being married in our early 20s meant going through a lot of job experimentation and self exploration while fulfilling the roles of husband and wife.

If you would have told me 7 years ago that today we’d be business owners living in Texas waiting on baby number 3, I would have rolled my eyes. And yet today, it seems somewhat obvious that we’ve been heading in this direction all along.

Let me take you back to 2009.

While many of our friends were still finishing up graduate school or searching for jobs following the economic crash the year prior, we were handing in our 2 weeks notice and preparing to move across the country to get married. We arrived back in my hometown of Kansas City just a month before our August nuptials completely jobless.

Over lunch we talked about what a turning point that was for us, as professionals {if either of us could have been labeled that fresh out of college} and as a couple {it was good practice for the 3 moves that would follow}.

Our families warned us not to do it. They said the move was irresponsible. They encouraged us to be appreciative of the jobs we had given the economy. Looking back we can appreciate where they were coming from.

But I think we’d make the same choice if we had to do it all over again.

That itch to walk away from stability to pursue what we wanted would become a habit for us in the seven years that followed.

During that time, my husband would be laid off, start his own business, return to a career in finance, leave once again to run Pit Stop Auto Detailing full-time, and most recently accept a corporate job where he can continue to pursue something he loves while still operating his own business from afar.

While my own business path may have fewer curves, it’s also had a lot less direction than my car-loving husband’s. Unlike him, I wouldn’t discover something I really cared about until my daughter was born.

Not only did I immediately become crazy about being a mom {something I always knew I wanted to be}, but I unearthed an unknown desire to be a working mom {something I’d never even considered for myself}.

Yet, it wasn’t until after the birth of my son two years later that I got my own itch to pursue a business of my own.

With all of the changes in our careers, one thing has kept us both {me} from totally losing our {my} minds.

We’ve always taken turns satisfying our itch.

There’s no way my husband could have started his own business in 2010 without my reliable paycheck {however measly} and health insurance.

There is no way I would have pursued going out on my own without the stability and success of his business.

Over the last seven years I think we can both agree we’ve gotten what we wanted out of our professional lives, just not all at the same time.

Just like the jobs we’ve held, our marriage is hardly perfect.

We don’t always see eye to eye on who should change our son’s diaper or pick up the cat puke on the floor {true story}. There is more yelling in our house than either of us are proud of, and with the busyness of kids and careers someone’s needs are often unmet.

But one thing we’ve consistently done throughout our marriage is support one other whenever we get a professional itch. We take on each other’s goals, even if it means taking turns.

And we’ve never gotten that marriage itch, which makes being his wife the best job I’ve ever had.

August 3, 2016

“None of us are expected to be Super Mom”

Q&A with Crystal Sullivan

If you don’t start every morning by reading theSkimm to face the day armed with the world’s top news stories, you’re missing out big time.

Earlier this summer I had the amazing opportunity to travel to New York City and meet the team behind the popular e-mail newsletter. Not only was I encouraged to ask questions while at SkimmHQ, but my own opinions and interests were equally solicited.

When I shared my passion for working moms with the founders, I was introduced to Crystal Sullivan. She’s a savvy go-getter with seemingly endless energy and good ideas. Moreover, as the first working mom to join the team, she’s laying the groundwork for a healthy work/life balance at HQ.

Self-promo time. What do you do?

I am the HBIC-Revenue at theSkimm…no seriously, I am Head of Media Revenue which means that I lead our Sponsor & Partnership sales team and identify new forms of revenue. I get to work with some of the smartest and most creative people and wake up every day excited to do it.

What’s something about theSkimm HQ that most people don’t know?

Most are surprised to find that we have a mix of both men and women working at the company. We also have 3 people at HQ that are color blind and one is a running historian {it’s real, I promise}.

Tell me about a challenge at work. What did you do to overcome it?

I have pretty strict hours with my kids’ schedules that doesn’t always allow me to stay and finish things at HQ late into the evening. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. That led to me having a never-ending workday and we all know that can lead to burnout. I decided that when I came home, my phone would go into a place that wasn’t easily accessible for 2 hours. I announced it to my family to hold me accountable and my team so they weren’t hunting me down. That allowed me to mentally download, cook dinner, spend time with my family and once that was done, I would jump back online and “finish” my day.

That takes some serious self-discipline! What is a typical day like for you?

I wake up at 5:00am and head to SoulCycle for the 5:45am rooster ride. My closest girlfriends {also working moms} and I all meet there-usually still yawning and wiping our eyes. We emerge happy and inspired and ready to face the day. I go home, shower and make lunches for school or camp, pack bags and pick out clothes before getting the kiddos up and ready to face their day. After drop-off at 8:30am, I head to NYC from NJ. My commute door to door is about 1 hour and 20 mins. I arrive at Skimm HQ, where I am literally greeted with the biggest smiles {this is no joke—everyone is SO happy}.

After a full day of leading, mentoring, learning, sharing & skimming I start my commute back home at 5pm. I arrive home around 6:30pm and am greeted at the door with hugs and 101 questions, as well as all of the saved up little facts about what they did all day that they have been dying to tell me. We cook dinner, shower and relax as a family before I tuck them in around 9. I’m then back on my laptop responding to emails, and finishing out my day before I finally hit the pillow at 11 telling my husband I love him and counting down the days until the weekend where I can “sort of” sleep in.

I’m exhausted for you. What keeps you sane?

SoulCycle and therapy {seriously!}. There is nothing I feel I can’t tackle after walking out of either.

You previously worked in the world of sports. What did you learn about yourself being in a male dominated industry?

Most people automatically assumed that I was just a “sales” woman and didn’t know much about the sport itself. Totally untrue and it helped me build unbelievable relationships that led to long-term partnerships. Women are extremely successful in the sports world, because there aren’t many of us and the ones that are there are incredibly passionate.

Have your professional goals changed since becoming a mom?

Honestly, my professional goals haven’t changed, which is something I love to share with anyone that will listen. I have never felt like I sacrificed a position or desired career path as a result of becoming a mom. Additionally, I don’t let myself feel like I am letting my children down by not being with them all day, every day. I admire and respect any woman who chooses the career path of being a stay at home mom. It’s a hard job that I’m fairly certain I would not be able to handle, for so many reasons. I’ve been clear with all of my employers that while I am fully dedicated to my role, my children are my priority and I have been supported 100%. I want to pave the way for all future moms behind me…we can do both.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”I want to pave the way for all future moms behind me…we can do both.” #workingmomwednesday[/tweetthis]

Finish this sentence. Before I had kids, I wish someone had told me…

…to enjoy every second of not “worrying.” It doesn’t matter where my kids are, who they are with or what they are doing, I think of them and their happiness and safety all day. I mean that in a healthy way, not a helicopter mom way. There is no carefree,”I have no other little humans to think of.” But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also think about myself very differently. Being my healthiest physically and emotionally is important to me in general, but knowing I want to be around to see my great-great-great grandkids motivates me even more!

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

My husband is my number one supporter and a very involved dad. However, because we both have demanding careers we have a live-out nanny. She has been part of our family for 6 years and our kids adore her. She literally runs our house every hour that we are not there during the week. I also have my parents who drop everything to be with their grandchildren {huge plus}. We live in a very socially active community with amazing moms and dads so everyone helps everyone with carpools and sports, etc. It’s awesome!

What’s your best piece of advice for working moms?

PLAN AHEAD. I’m terrible at this, especially with meal prep and grocery shopping. But when I actually do it, it makes a world of a difference. Also, having a network of people around you and your kids that you all feel comfortable with is so important. None of us are expected to be Super Mom…it’s ok to ask for help. Also, create a ritual for yourself either when you first get home or after the kids go to bed that you look forward to. I LOVE to shower and use fancy products. It’s a great way to treat myself after a long day.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I do. And it’s not perfect for everyone…but to me, it’s all I could ask for. I’m married to my best friend {we fight and annoy each other like every couple}, my kids are healthy and I really love my job and the career path I’ve chosen. I have a home, not just a house, and my family and girlfriends are a part of my foundation. I’m fortunate. And I know it and appreciate it every day.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.