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I bought my kids’ Valentines for school, and that’s okay

Valentines

Have you been on Pinterest lately?

It’s brimming with the sweetest Valentine’s Day crafts for you and your cuties to do together. Even my Facebook news feed has been full of links to videos and blogs with heart-inspired DIY.

Last year, I spent a full episode of The Bachelor cutting out little tags I’d printed that read “Sip-sip horray! It’s Valentine’s Day!” and fastening them to crazy straws. My daughter was two and half and not exactly a huge help. But I didn’t mind. They were adorable! The kids were going to love them.

And they did. But they also viewed the darling tags I’d spent hours on as an obstacle to getting to what they really wanted: the straws. The tags ended up in the trash.

Would I have done it all over again? Absolutely! It brought me joy to feel as though I was doing something special for my daughter and her friends.

Here’s the thing.

Rather than spending hours painting, cutting, glittering, sticking and/or packaging with Daphne this year, I decided to swing by the store and let her pick out a bag of prepackaged snacks for her friends.

And that’s okay.

The truth is, I have a love/hate relationship with DIY. As in, I hate that fact that I love it, because I’m not particularly good at it.

Whatever the craft, recipe, fill-in-the-blank, the photos always look so perfect. The directions make it seems so quick and simple. And it should definitely be less expensive than something store bought if I’m making it myself, right?

Well, if you’re not a regular DIY-er {I’m not}, you probably don’t already have a craft room full of supplies to pull from {I don’t}, which means you’ll need to hit up Hobby Lobby before you get started. Consider how those little buttons, stickers, clothes pins, and ribbons add up and try to think of ways you may use the leftovers so you don’t waste, or you could end up spending way more than you’d planned.

And then comes the actual Doing It Yourself….Is it just me, or does it rarely look as good as the example? I usually end up disappointed or frustrated or regretting that I didn’t just go buy whatever it was that I was attempting to create myself.

As moms, we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect parents. But parenting isn’t a one-size-fits all job description. And social media has only perpetuated the idea that the grass is greener in other moms’ yards.

While I’ve loved looking at the beautiful photos online of Valentine’s Day crafts, I’m also comfortable in sitting back and saying I don’t have time for that. And knowing my kids aren’t going to be worse for it.

Are you a DIY mom? I totally envy you, especially if it comes easily for you! Handmade gifts are cherished because they are personal. Kudos to you for your artistic vision and patience. I’m sure your kids will inherit both from the time you spend creating together.

But this year, I’ve aligned myself with the store-buying Valentines moms.

My daughter was so proud to pick out her treats for her class all by herself. She even gave me an unprompted hug and thank you! And while I cannot be certain, I’m pretty confident that she wouldn’t have done the same if I’d spent hours cutting out tags again.

Plus, the time not crafting was spent riding bikes around the neighborhood and playing outside with my daughter instead.

This Valentine’s Day, I wish you a stress-free day to cherish your family and friends and do something together that you all enjoy. Whether you spend the day crafting, shopping, riding bikes or just sitting at home, make sure you’re surrounded by those you love ♥ ♥ ♥

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Working Mom Wednesday: do what is right for you

Today is my mom’s birthday, so I could think of no better woman to feature in this week’s interview than Pam Gyllenborg!

Like many women, my mom’s career path hasn’t always been straight and easy. She’s been a Spanish teacher, a travel agent, a stay at home mom.

She’s dedicated her life to philanthropy regardless of whether or not she was working outside of the home. From the Kansas City Symphony to the Children’s Center for the Visually Impaired and a hundred organizations in between, my mom has always worked hard to improve our local community through service.

But with her children out of the house {and now married with babies of our own}, my mom dusted off her briefcase and headed back to work as a real estate agent. She’s grown an impressive business through her philanthropic and social networks and her outstanding reputation.

While building her career, my mom’s also managed to set aside time to care for her grandchildren {my children} one day a week. This has been an incredible blessing in my life to allow me to work while keeping childcare costs in check.

She is truly an outstanding wife, mother, grandmother, friend and businesswoman!

TFM: Hi, mom! Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over 40 😉 Why don’t we start with you telling everyone what you do.

Mom: I am a Realtor, a Senior Sales Executive for 12 years with Better Homes & Gardens Real Estate.

TFM: What do you enjoy about working in real estate?

Mom: The favorite part of my job is the many friendships that I have built with my clients. These relationships are multi generational now. Nothing pleases me more than to have helped a parent and now their children in their real estate needs.

TFM: You’ve always been a people-person. I don’t think we’ve ever left the house without you bumping into someone you know! But no job is perfect, so what has been the hardest part?

Mom: Thanks to technology, I can be reached 24/7. I’m constantly at the “beck and call” of my clients no matter what day or time it is, which can make it difficult to make plans.

TFM: That makes sense and I think a lot of working moms face the same challenge of never being able to turn off work. So give me an example of a Realtor’s work day?

Mom: Each day is different except for Thursday which is my grandson, Henry’s babysitting day. The entire day is about him!

TFM: Henry sure does love his Gigi 🙂

Mom: However, most mornings I start by addressing my emails and texts. It is important to keep on top of the market so I check MLS for new listings, changes in price and status. Then I take time to communicate by updating current clients and touching base with past clients. I do that by phone, email, newsletters, snail mail, and in person lunches and coffee dates. I spend afternoons working on marketing, listing presentations, staging homes for showings, previewing homes or attending price opinions for agents. I end the day by going to an exercise class.

TFM: Now, you reentered the workforce after two decades of raising children. Why?

Mom: My nest was empty, and I was tired of being a professional volunteer. I wanted to enter the work force one more time. I wanted a job with time flexibility and not to be chained to a desk all day. Real Estate seemed like a good fit and a way that I could join forces with my husband who has been in the construction business for 30 years {Gyllenborg Construction}.

TFM: Were there any struggles when you first went back to work?

Mom: When I first got into real estate, I joined a top KC team in order to learn the business from the best. Technology was and continues to be my biggest challenge. Now my husband and I have partnered together in the business. He builds the homes and I sell them, or I sell the homes and he remodels them. I think that we are the only ones in KC that offer the services of a licensed contractor and Realtor together. And so far, we have not had one fight or disagreement!!

TFM: High school sweethearts to business partners. You two love birds! If you hadn’t chosen real estate, what do you think you would be?

Mom: Well, I love clothes and fashion. My closets are stuffed full! I worked in a very trendy clothing store in high school and college selling, modeling and doing window and store displays. I also enjoy interior design which I utilize when staging my clients’ homes. As you know when I babysit, I am always rearranging your furniture. You are never sure what your house is going to look like when you come home!

TFM: This is a true statement. While we’re usually not pleased when we get home, we also never move it back. You must know a thing or two! You also held a few jobs before staying home with kids…do any of them stand out to you?

Mom: I was a travel agent and a Spanish teacher at Barstow School. I loved to travel so the travel business caught my interest out of college. I started at a time with no computers. We hand wrote the tickets in first class and coach fares only established by a book that came out once a month. The industry would give us free “Fam” or familiarization trips to fly to and review their resorts. It was a fun career until the airlines became deregulated. Discount fares and computers changed the game.

TFM: A lot of working moms decide to stay home for the early years. What’s your best piece of advice for those deciding to go back to work?

Mom: Do what is right for you!

TFM: That’s right. Parenting {and working} is not one size fits all. One thing we do all have in common? We’re not perfect. Tell me about a time you messed up.

Mom: I still have nightmares about this one! When I was doing event planning for not-for-profits, I hired a friend to do the catering for a large car show and auction for 300 people. She failed to provide enough food or staff for the evening and half the guests did not get any dinner! Very embarrassing!

TFM: How did you overcome it?

Mom: I try to follow the Frozen philosophy of “Let it Go!” I learned here that you must check and double check references and past performances, even if they are your friend.

TFM: You’ve been watching too many Disney movies, mom. Be honest: parenting vs. grandparenting?

Mom: Grandparenting is the best…just unconditional love and spoiling! You do not have the worries and the day to day grind of parents.

TFM: Yeah, yeah. Well, what would you say is the best part of being a mom?

Mom: Giving life, nurturing that life with your heart and soul, and then watching that life grow and succeed in the world is the most beautiful thing. I could not be prouder of my daughters and the wonderful women and mothers they are today.

TFM: {Blushing} Thanks, mom! But I’m sure I still drive you a little nuts after all of these years. What keeps you sane? Besides QVC….

Mom: Of course, my family and friends are my greatest blessing. I also enjoy exercise like Zumba, Tai Chi or Curves. I do think it is important to be good to yourself in this busy, hectic life. I recommend everyone treat themselves to a massage or mani/pedi once a month!

TFM: You’re buying, right? Just teasing…this month is on me. Happy Birthday, mom!

If you’re looking to buy, sell, build or remodel a home in Kansas City, I highly suggest you get in touch with my mom {and dad, John}. I may be bias, but they are total real estate rock stars.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

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3 things to remember when your little ones get sick

sick kids

Last week was a long, runny-nose-filled sick one. In fact, I can’t recall a day when someone in my family wasn’t feeling a little {or a lot} under the weather since Thanksgiving.

Remember when the school called me last Monday about Henry’s fever? Well, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday came and went, and poor Henry still wasn’t quite looking ready to go back to school. I spent Friday morning taking him the pediatrician and the afternoon snuggling with him on the couch.

While he was incredibly cute and cuddly, I couldn’t help but feel distracted by the huge amount of work I had originally planned to do that day. And then I felt guilty that I felt so distracted. And then I felt stressed.

I mean, just as you cannot {or should not} bundle up your sweet sniffling toddler and send him off to daycare sick, you also cannot {or should not} neglect your work responsibilities, right?

My husband and I are incredibly lucky when it comes to sick days. We’re both self-employed, which means we don’t have anyone to call to request time off and we don’t have to eat away at our vacation time in order to be there for our children. This definitely is not the case for many parents.

But with this great flexibility, also comes an enormous amount of pressure.

My husband is fortunate that he has some great employees who can temporarily pick up the slack in his absence. I, on the other hand, am a one-woman show. If I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.

Fortunately, I’m a planner and typically schedule out my clients’ needs days if not weeks in advance. But what about those emails? What about that meeting? What about this blog post?

Here’s what I want all working moms to know when their little ones gets sick:

1. Keep your guilt in check

The reality is that there are times when you will need to get work done in order to meet an important deadline and there are meetings that you absolutely cannot miss. But there are also times when you will need to be better at letting it go to be there for your child who needs you. No matter which situation you’re in when your little one gets sick, try to remember that you’re exactly where you need to be. Let the guilt go – whether it’s about the kids or work.

2. Know when to call for back up

We live in a society that assumes that mom will stay home. Maybe this is still true for some families, but that doesn’t mean it will always be true for you. Know who your alternates are ahead of time, because that nasty cold likely won’t call you in advance to schedule a babysitter. When you wake up in the morning with an unexpected sick kid and cannot be the one to stay home, you need to know who may be able to help you.

For me, it’s usually a matter of my husband and I comparing schedules. Can we trade off throughout the day? Does he need to stay home today so that I can be at that event and then we will switch tomorrow? I’m also incredibly lucky to have my parents just down the street as a plan B {although they too work}, as well as some fabulous neighbors.

 

Click here to learn how to work from home!

3. Life happens

My kids coming down with a fever has hardly been the only reason for a work day gone awry. I’ve had my car break down on my way to work {before dropping my kids off}, inclement weather {I remember spending hours in the basement of the building I worked in during a tornado in the middle of an incredibly important meeting}, power/internet outages at the office, and on and on.

A sick kid is hardly the only thing that gets in the way of a productive work day. As working moms, we make adjustments all the time. {See? This blog post still got written.}

At the end of the day, someone has got to take care of the little one when he’s not feeling well. And I, for one, am glad it was me.

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Working Mom Wednesday: no excuses

business owner

I’ve known and admired Jenny Kincaid for all of my adult life. I met her within my first week at my first big-kid job after my husband and I moved back to Kansas City. At the time, we were both working our tails off for someone else.

If you’ve had the privilege of meeting Jenny, I’m guessing you left the conversation feeling empowered. She has a knack for lifting up other women and genuinely wants to help those around her find success. With her independent attitude, fierce work ethic, and outside-of-the-box creativity, I knew Jenny had bigger things ahead of her.

Since then, Jenny has built her own public and social relations firm committed to Kansas City companies. {I also coaxed her into joining Femfessionals Kansas City.} During that time, Jenny also took on her newest role – mom.

TFM: Tell the people what you do.

Jenny: Socialworx PR is a lifestyle and niche public relations firm. We work with a variety of clients, from ideas that started out on a napkin to companies that have been in business for more than 150 years. Our “niche” seems to be companies that are locally owned, woman owned, and those that don’t have a strong brand awareness or presence in the area…yet. We specialize in “social relations” which is just our term for community involvement. Being social is beneficial for you personally, professional and philanthropically.

TFM: What made you want to take the leap to start your own company?

Jenny: I wanted to do things my way, on my own time and in my own unique way. Having had a great experience in this business for 5 years with another PR firm, it was just time that I make a change. I wanted to own my own business again and I liked the idea of being challenged everyday, scaring myself to commit to something, to be successful. I wanted to call the shots.

TFM: What is the best part of being a business owner?

Jenny: Like all things, there are ups and downs, and the same goes for owning your own business. Not everyday is ice cream and lollipops, but you can’t learn if you don’t fail. The best part of being a business owner is the freedom to take those chances to see if something works, the freedom to make your own schedule and not have to rely on someone else for your own success.

TFM: Speaking of failing, tell me about a time you really messed up

Jenny: I have missed deadlines, I’ve launched a campaign without everyone’s permission, I’ve been way off base on a story angle and completely missed the storyline for some major outlets…

TFM: I’m sure when dealing with clients those mistakes can be a tough pill to swallow. How did you go about making it right?

Jenny: I was honest and owned up to my mistake, then learned from it and spent more time in those areas.

TFM: Very professional advice. What is a typical day like for you in the world of public relations?

Jenny: There is no typical day in PR, I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Some mornings start at 6 a.m. with texts from a client followed by 7:30 a.m. calls (then play for a bit with my daughter and drop her off, kiss hubby goodbye), head to office, talk to the team and get the run down for the day, head to coffee meeting, maybe a luncheon, sit it on a photo shoot…all the while checking emails and exchanging texts. Maybe go to a horse barn for an interview with KCPD Mounted Patrol then run behind a bar to try a new cocktail or wine, drop by the tv station for a few photos of a client interview, try to get in a 30 minute workout. Finish up the day brainstorming about our new products and services and how they will actually help our clients, plan ahead, answer phone calls and check all social media sites (schedule posts for the next day) and at least one day a week head to a board or committee meeting for one of the non-profits I volunteer for.

TFM: Sounds like a very full, but exciting plate! I bet you never get bored. If you weren’t in PR, what would you be doing?

Jenny: Good question…it would depend on where I was in my life. I’ve always been one to thrift and refurbish furniture so that’s one thing I’ve got. I’ve also thought about going back to school and being an ER nurse…then again, I like being around people so as long as I was keeping busy I would be happy. More philanthropy, helping friends with their businesses? Who knows?

TFM: Since launching Socialworx PR, you’ve also become a mama! What is your favorite part about being a mom?

Jenny: Like many, I can’t name just one. I love when she laughs, says “I love you” and runs to me at the end of the day. Who can get enough of that?

TFM: Who helps you with your daughter while you’re working?

Jenny: I have the most adorable husband…I tell everyone that he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. From day one of our relationship, he has known that I’m really independent, a natural busy-body and am involved in a lot. He helps with Ellis in every way and days when I leave at 7 a.m. and don’t get home till 7 p.m., I always get the same response “No problem babes, I know you’re a busy woman. You’ve got a lot on your plate, besides that, we’re a team.” He is the perfect balance. To add to that, I have my parents who are beyond awesome. They are retired and take her two days a week. I’m pretty sure this is more fun for them than anything, but again, I feel lucky that Ellis can spend time with them, learn from them and it helps keep them young. They also help out when we’re in a pinch. We are very lucky to have that support. I can’t forget about my older brother Kyle, either. He lives just down the street and can’t go a day without a picture of her or seeing her. He watches her occasionally when he’s not on the railroad and they’re the best of friends. Again, lucky!

TFM: Have you ever missed a moment in your Ellis’s life that you regret?

Jenny: Not yet…I worked from home for the first 14 months of her life so I was able to see her everyday. This is also where owning your own business comes in handy too…if I want to stay home with her, I will.

TFM: That’s awesome. If your daughter takes away one thing from you running a business, what do you think {or hope} that would be?

Jenny: The ability to smile at the end of the day and feel good about having a good work ethic, being humble and kind and knowing that working hard pays off.

TFM: What keeps you sane?

Jenny: My hubby, stepping away and laughing with friends, a little dancing now and then, peanut M&M’s and a Sailor Jerry’s & Coke.

TFM: Good to know 🙂 What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Jenny: You can do it. Women have been doing great things for hundreds of years and without the resources we have now, so focus on the end goal. Focus on living the type of life you want and then take the steps to make it happen. It’s not going to happen overnight and you’re not Superwoman, be realistic, but be bold, be you and learn to love the fire. Surround yourself with other like-minded people (men and women).

TFM: Any tips for women wanting to start a business?

Jenny: Go for it. You’re one step closer to living the life you want than you were yesterday and as fast as time flies, 6 months from now you’ll be that much closer to being a #bossbabe! Again, be realistic and think about what you’re doing and what the outcome is. Ask questions, do your research and surround yourself with people who will be honest with you. Get feedback, take criticism in stride, make mistakes and learn from them. But don’t ever say you can’t or give excuses…no excuses.

TFM: I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Jenny: I have all that I need and that makes me happy.

Jenny will celebrate 6 years in biz next month! For more about the amazing company she’s built, the KC clients she works with everyday, and the fabulous Jenny herself, check out Socialworx PR.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

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Don’t treat me like the default parent

default parent

Ever since my husband and I welcomed our daughter into the world, I’ve been talking about my role as the “default parent.” I actually coined the phrase at home before realizing it was an actual thing.

Early on I’d have to plan ahead for an evening out {I was still nursing/pumping} and we’d joke that my husband was “babysitting” that night. As both of our responsibilities grew at home and at work, the babysitting comment became less funny.

To me, it was frustrating to have to coordinate with his schedule to make sure he was available to watch our child when he seemed to come and go as he pleased.

And to my husband it was condescending, as if he wasn’t worthy of the same parent title I held {which is ridiculous and untrue}.

So how did I become the default? Is it because I chose to breastfeed and was immediately – and physically – tied to my children since birth? Is it because I’m the planner in the family and coordinate everything from doctors appointments to holidays? Or is it simply because I’m the mom?

I have no doubt that there are a handful of daddy-defaults out there. But I’m also willing to bet that the majority of the time the default parent is the same person who carried around that sweet babe for 9 months in her uterus, regardless of what her story is afterwards.

Just yesterday I had an eye opening experience with my children’s preschool. Now that my work-week is a bit condensed so that I can spend more time with our tiny tots at home, I take those working days very seriously. I typically do not answer my phone and have even nearly forgotten to eat lunch {gasp!} because I was so focused on what I needed to get done.

Around 2 p.m. I heard my phone go off in the kitchen, but figured it was likely A. a sales person reminding me for the 3,000 time that the deadline is approaching for health insurance through the exchange, or B. my husband. I decided that both could wait until I left the house an hour later for carpool line.

Around 2:45 I popped up to freshen my water and glanced at my phone. Crap.

It was the preschool calling to say that poor Henry had woken up from his nap with a high fever and needed to be picked up as soon as possible. I immediately grabbed my keys and headed to the garage.

Before calling the school to let them know I was on my way with my parent-of-the-year award, I called my husband to make sure he wasn’t heading that way already, too. As it turns out, the school didn’t call him. Or either grandparent listed as a family contact. Just mom. The default.

For some reason, this made me really, really frustrated. The school is well aware that I’m a working parent. They request that information on all of the paperwork. So why did they assume I was the only one available to pick up my son in the middle of the day? {Disclaimer: we are very happy at our kids’ school and do not hold them accountable for relying on the default.}

At home, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will likely always be the one in charge of our children’s whereabouts, school paperwork, appointments and activities unless otherwise communicated with dad. And let me be clear that this isn’t because my husband wouldn’t be capable of doing so if he’d been coined the default, because he would totally rock it. Just like he rocks trash day, making breakfast every morning, reading books with my daughter every night and a million other things he does for our family.

When it comes to the bigger picture, however, I think it’s time for others to stop relying on the default. In a world where women comprise 50% of the workforce and nearly 3 out of every 4 moms are working outside of the home, maybe we could start calling dad on sick days.

 

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5 ways to actually achieve your goals this year

tips for accomplishing your goals

Monday is February 1st, which marks one month since you blissfully resolved to make this the best year yet. How are you doing on your resolutions or goals thus far?

I recently read that by Super Bowl weekend only 20% of goal-setters are still on track. And by Christmas? Only 5% will waive a victory flag.

But I’m here to tell you that I believe you’re a five percenter. The thing about goals is, if you do them right they can be an amazingly powerful tool to inspire and guide you! Plus, you’re in control of your own success {or failure}. We’ve already 1/12th of the way there, so let’s not waste anymore time.

1. Set smarter goals

We’ve all heard of SMART goals, but thanks to a fashion blog I follow I’m not making my goals SMARTER. If you know me personally, you know I’m probably not following it for the style tips {I live in yoga pants} but for their incredible business savvy. They put the “er” in “smarter” and I think it adds an extra dose of motivation. Who doesn’t want to be excited by their goals and rewarded for reaching them?!

Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Timely, Exciting, Rewarded

Example: By December 31, 2016 (T), we will have 100 (M, R) new business members (S) join Femfessionals Kansas City (A). This goal excites me, because I’m passionate about growing a community of working women (E). When I achieve this goal, I’m going to throw a free event for all of our members (R)!

2. Look at it

A goal you can see is massively more powerful than a goal you keep hidden like a secret. Are you the creative type? Try making a vision board using magazine clippings. Now that you can literally see your goals, it’s time to tell someone else about them. Making yourself accountable to your friends and family is one of the best ways to stay on track.

3. Break it up

Many people abandon goals because they’re just too dang big. If you’ve done this to yourself, stop now. Change your game plan.
Select mini-milestones that all work toward your main goal. Let’s say your goal is to gain 100 new clients this year. That sounds a bit intimidating, doesn’t it? But if you break it into a monthly goal of 8-10 clients per month or about 2 a week, it becomes a more manageable goal. Split your big goals into bite size chunks and conquer it one sweet victory at a time.

4. Commit to yourself

There’s only one person in this goal-setting process that matters. You. Commit to yourself now and be prepared to recommit over and over again. The thing about achieving goals is that it’s a bit like riding a horse. You’re bound to get thrown off a few times. Commit to yourself so that you’ll climb right back on that saddle.

5. Start now

You know the saying, “Never put off for tomorrow, what you can do today.” They weren’t talking about folding your laundry {but don’t procrastinate there either or your clothes will be all wrinkled}. When it comes to going after what you want, you have to start now. So if you haven’t figured out what you want to accomplish this year, this month or this week, it’s time to go for it.

Big growth is just around the corner. What is your number one goal for this year?

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Working Mom Wednesday: go after what you want

While I’ve probably only been in the same room as Gwen Hefner a handful of times, I feel like I know her quite personally. When my husband and I first moved back to Kansas City seven years ago, I emailed my resume to Gwen for a job that wasn’t even available…yet.

Gwen was pregnant with her son at the time and not planning on returning to work. Something about my cover letter clicked and she recommended her boss consider me for the gig. I ended up working there for two years and was {lovingly} referred to as “the new Gwen” the entire time.

Gwen makes an impact that way. From her generous spirit and deep faith to her natural beauty and incomparable creativity, Gwen has a bit of a magnetic pull on other people. Which is why it’s no surprise that in a short amount of time she’s created a super successful {and profitable} design blog from home with her husband and two children.

As a new work-from-home mom myself, I couldn’t wait to find out what blogger mom Gwen had to say about this job she’s built for herself.

 

TFM: Hi Gwen! Tell everyone what you do and how long you’ve been doing it.

Gwen: I am a designer and maker blogging at The Makerista. On the blog I document our home renovations, the parties we have here and partnerships with other brands to make the world a more beautiful place. I’ve been blogging for about 2 ½ years.

TFM: How did you get started as a blogger mom?

Gwen: I started reading blogs when I became a stay-at-home mom and quickly realized I was doing a lot of the same things these other women were documenting. It took me a few years to take the leap, but I haven’t looked back since.

TFM: If you hadn’t taken the leap, do you think you would have gone back to work?

Gwen: That’s a good question, and I’m not 100% sure of the answer. I was a stay-at-home mom with little side jobs here and there to make some extra money for the first few years, but it was never anything really fulfilling. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else than what I’m doing right now.

TFM: To me, that is the exact definition of fulfilling – when you can’t imagine doing anything else. What is the best part of running your own blog?

Gwen: The best part is just the freedom. You get to decide who you work with, what projects you take on, what your next move is. It’s totally freeing.

TFM: Speaking of who you work with, what is one product or service you love so much you could be a brand ambassador?

Gwen: I feel like I’m already a brand ambassador for Lowe’s. I just love them so much. From the products to the people I get to work with – their company is just awesome.

TFM: What is a typical day like for you?

Gwen: Most days look a bit different, but I can tell you what today looks like.  I’ll start the morning with getting my son on the bus for kindergarten and my daughter dropped off at preschool {she goes 3 mornings a week}. I head to 9Round and get in 30 minutes of exercise, go home to catch up on email {never-ending} and then make a quick meeting to discuss our upcoming kitchen renovation. I pick Milly up from school at noon and we spend a few hours together running errands and/or playing after lunch. Mid afternoon I start prepping a blog post while hitting email again. I spend some time also researching and sourcing for upcoming projects we’re tackling in our home. My son gets off the bus and after a quick snack we’re on our way to karate, home for dinner and baths and then I typically write my posts in the evening. I can’t believe how fast the days go by!

TFM: I hear you there! What keeps you sane?

Gwen: The blog and the work I do for it keeps me sane as a stay-at-home mom, but my friends and family keep me sane as a creative sharing my work online.

TFM: Use family to decompress from work and vice versa! That’s great. What has been your biggest struggle when it comes to your blog?

Gwen: My lack of business-mindedness.  I am creative and pretty organized, but I am not naturally business-minded and I wish that arena of the job was a little easier {and enjoyable} for me.

TFM: Are you taking any steps to work on that?

Gwen: I’m trying to take on what I can, but I’m also trying to hire out what I can’t. I’ve fought the idea of “hire to your weakness” for quite some time, but I’m realizing that it just doesn’t make sense for me to spend several hours doing a task that someone else could do in 10 minutes. It’s not worth my time and I can make more money if I pay someone else to do the things I’m not good at, allowing me more time to do what I really love about it.

TFM: That’s great advice. It ultimately frees up your time to get more work done or spend more time with your children. How do you balance staying at home and staying on top of your work?

Gwen: I don’t. I wish I could call it a balance, but the reality is that one thing is usually dominating the others. Some weeks I work more and the house is a mess, some weeks I spend more time with the kids and I don’t get as much done. I think you have to assess what’s really necessary that day or week.

TFM: I constantly feel like my to-do list only grows now that I’m working from home. But it’s so worth it! What is your favorite part about being a mom?

Gwen: There is no greater love or joy than that which you experience as a parent. I love watching my kids grow and become their own little people. It’s pretty amazing.

TFM: They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

Gwen: It does take a village. With school in session I don’t have to rely on friends and family to help as much, but we have some great neighbors, parents, siblings – many who will help at a moment’s notice. When I have to travel my mother-in-law is a total gem.

TFM: I’m on a quest to having it all. I don’t think “it all” is the same for everyone and I don’t think we necessarily have “it all” all at once. Do you think you have it all?

Gwen: I certainly don’t have it all, but I think I have a lot of what I want and I feel pretty content in that. I get the chance to do something that fulfills me all the while contributing to our finances and being there whenever my kids really need me. It’s quite the gig, but it also comes with the price of muddied waters. I don’t get weekends, and I struggle differentiating work time and personal time.

TFM: I think work time and personal time overlap for a lot of working moms. What is the number one thing you hope your kids learn from watching you run a business?

Gwen: I hope they learn to go after what they want. I hope they see the importance of hard work and honing in on the gifts God has given you.

Gwen has definitely done just that by sharing her creativity with the world. If you’re not already drooling over Gwen’s designs and handy work over at The Makerista, I encourage you to start!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

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Working Mom Wednesday: work hard, play harder

It’s Hump Day, which means I’m back with my second #workingmomwednesday! Check back each week for an interview with a working mom who inspires me.

This week I spoke with momtrepreneur Rebekah Johnson. We met at a Femfessionals luncheon last summer. I didn’t get to chat with her very much that day, but learned that she was the owner of a venue in downtown Kansas City and decided she was someone I would likely want to connect with in the future.

After a few months of back and forth, we’re finally throwing an event in her space tomorrow. I am so excited for our guests to get acquainted with her gorgeous space boasting high ceilings, a gorgeous fireplace and big, beautiful windows. Moreover, I’m excited for our guests to get to know Rebekah. She is an incredibly generous business owner. She leads with respect, she always has her stuff together, and isn’t afraid to try new things. On top of all of the awesomeness, she is a terrific mom and wife.

 

TFM: Let’s start with a plug. Tell me what you do.

Rebekah: I am an owner/partner of several small businesses: River Market Event Place, Airstream Lounge KC and Pop-UP Wedding KC.

TFM: I don’t know how you do it all, but I’d say you’ve found your niche! What is the best part of being a momtrepreneur?

Rebekah: The freedom. Although we easily work more than a 40 hour work week (you never really turn work off), there’s something to be said for knowing you’re working for yourself and you’re on your own time clock. I love the freedom of making my own schedule and being able to be keep our kids out of daycare. I don’t have to request off to attend their school functions or go on vacation. I do what I want, when I want.

TFM: It sounds like you’re on board with my Free Mama philosophy! Since you’re setting your own schedule, what does a typical day look like for you?

Rebekah: Every day is a hustle and every day is a little different due to the nature of our business. On a typical day, the alarm goes off early and I hit the ground running. First I wake our oldest child (age 7 and in first grade). I get him ready and to school by 8:00, then I tend to our youngest (age 3  and in preschool) and get her off to school by 9:00. Once the kids are gone it’s a scramble to get as much done as possible while they are away. My mornings are usually spent responding to emails, taking calls or in meetings with vendors/clients. If I’m working from home that day I try to throw a little housework in the mix. Our youngest gets picked up at 1:30 and our oldest at 3:30. On days I’m not in meetings I try to pick them up and do the shuffle between schools, then I either take them back to the office with me or we go home and I get back on the computer to work a little more. At least a couple nights a week I have late meetings or have industry functions, but if I’m home in the evening I cook, help with homework, get the kids ready for bed, read to them and lay with them until they fall asleep. I’ve tried to make a habit of staying unplugged once we go through our bedtime routine, but most of the time I end up jumping back on the computer and get a little more work in. I usually end the day feeling like I still have a huge list of tasks that didn’t get done, but eventually I make myself quit and save it for the next day.

TFM: I used to work in events and it is a lot of nights and weekends like you mentioned. If you weren’t in the wedding and events industry, what would you be doing?

Rebekah: I would pursue becoming a sommelier. I’ve always had a passion for wine. With our current business I get to manage our bar services, so I already get to dabble in the wine and spirits industry a little. I wouldn’t mind having that be my main gig though.

TFM: I’d let you pick out wine for me any night of the week. Speaking of passions, what one product or service do you love so much you could be a brand ambassador?

Rebekah: doTERRA Essential oils! They are a life saver for my stress management!

TFM: What else keeps you sane?

Rebekah: Lots of wine. 🙂 I also usually treat myself to a hot bath every night. That is my time to shut the door and have a few moments to myself…although often times there is a kid beating on the door screaming to get in!

TFM: Ah, the joys of motherhood. I don’t think I’ve peed by myself since my daughter was born. Other than the lack of privacy, what is your favorite part about being a mom?

Rebekah: The little moments. The milestones, the holidays, the big life events are all great. But it’s those little moments like falling asleep with their hand in mine or watching them walk to the car in the morning with their back packs on that make me stop and think about how much I love these little people more than anything else in life.

TFM: They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

Rebekah: Being business partners with my husband allows us to share our duties. He is one amazing dad and we tackle parenthood together. My parents also help us on a regular basis.

TFM: Have you ever missed a moment in your child’s life that you regret?

Rebekah: I think I can honestly say I really haven’t. With the freedom of making my own schedule, I am able to always be there for the important stuff. I can’t say that we haven’t missed some things though. Like one time when my husband and I both had insanely busy days and we somehow overlooked which of us was on school pick up duty that day. When the school secretary called 30 minutes after pick up time and asked if we were coming to get our son that day, I definitely felt like the worst parent ever!

TFM: I’ve definitely been the last mom in car pool line more than once. It happens….go easy on yourself! Tell me about a time you failed or really messed up in your professional life.

Rebekah: When I was working for a state rep right out of college I was in charge of putting together the legislative handbook that reps send out to their constituents each year. I was so obsessed with the content of the book that I completely overlooked a simple typo on an address that was listed. Instead of it listing her district office address, it listed her election headquarters. It was a very simple, yet very big mistake and it was totally an oversight on my part.

TFM: How did you overcome it?

Rebekah: Ultimately it was resolved, but she did have to deal with the ethics commission. New books had to be printed and mailed out, and luckily she was able to get off the hook of being in any real trouble, but to this day that  still haunts me. I do feel like an experience like that made me grow thicker skin. I think the key to making a mistake is to own it and learn from it. If I make a mistake I’ll be the first to admit it and try to remedy it.

TFM: That’s awesome. What’s the saying? “It’s not how we make mistakes but how we correct them that defines us.” I love that! If your kids take away one thing from you running a business, what do you think that would be?

Rebekah: Being able to truly focus. I feel like I am constantly trying to multi-task and am always being sidetracked. It doesn’t mean we aren’t able to run successful businesses. We’re just usually doing it in a head spinning state of mind.

TFM: What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms with spinning heads?

Rebekah: You have to find time to turn work completely off. It’s so hard to find a balance between work and motherhood, especially when you own your own business, because your business is in many ways is like another child that you are devoted to and you have to tend to non-stop. It is so important to not let work consume you. I am often times guilty of not unplugging enough or giving my kids my undivided attention.

TFM: I tell people I’m on a quest to having it all. I don’t think “it all” is the same for everyone and I don’t think we necessarily have “it all” all at once. What does having it all mean to you? Do you think you have it all?

Rebekah: I think having it all is when you truly find that balance of all aspects in your life. I kinda feel like I do have it all when I sit and really think about what I’m getting to do in my life. I’m blessed to be busy, even if life is pretty crazy most days. I’m able to spend a lot of time with my kids (even if I am do have a computer screen open most of the time) and I’m also getting to have a career and set an example to them of how to hustle and work hard. My motto this last year has become “work hard, play harder.”

 

Thanks, Rebekah! If you’re a working gal from Kansas City, join us for lunch tomorrow at River Market Event Place to meet up with other business women and entrepreneurs.

Whether you’re planning a wedding or looking for a great venue for your next function, be sure to check out River Market Event Place, Airstream Lounge KC and Pop-UP Wedding KC and see you here next Wednesday for another #workingmomwednesday.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

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Why you should care what other people think

care what other people think

Today I took my kids to Story Time at the library. This was a first for us in my new part-time stay at home mom role. In my attempt to keep my kids involved in predictable, school-like activities on their days at home, we’ve assigned Tuesdays as library day. Lucky for me, Tuesdays also happen to be Pre-School Story Time day at the library.

To call my family loud would be an understatement. My voice carries. My parents’ voices carry. Growing up, for a few weeks following parent-teacher conferences my teachers would even inadvertently let up on asking me to lower my voice or be quiet out of their newfound realization that the apple does in fact not fall far from the tree. This gift of never needing a microphone was lovingly and unintentionally passed along to my children, as well.

In case you haven’t visited your local library lately, they are relatively quiet places. Even in the children’s section. Like most moms who has been to a public place with toddlers, I laid out my expectations before we got there.

#1. Listening ears.

#2. Inside voices.

#3. Walking feet.

#4. Please for the love of God do not pull all of the books off of the book shelves.

We arrived a few minutes before Story Time was going to begin and took our places in the tiny children’s chairs. As more families arrived I bumped my pre-schooler to the floor criss cross applesauce and pulled my 1 1/2 year old onto my lap so the other moms and grandmas could take a seat. The librarian entered – almost silently – and began.

About two pages into her first of three stories, my son saw a Thomas the Train made out of paper mache in the corner of the room and lost his mind. He said {or yelled to the unfamiliar ear} “train, train” over and over again.

Now, I’ve been a mom long enough to know that whenever your kids are acting undesirably, it is 10 times worse in your own head.

Still, I redirected his attention to the display of books on the table behind my tiny chair in an attempt to keep him quiet. It worked for a minute, but then he saw a book with a train on it and his gleeful reiteration continued. Train, train, train!

I lovingly whisked my son out of the small, nearly quiet room and bounced with him just outside the door so he could still see the librarian and her audience.

A few moments later I noticed my daughter looking around frantically. Apparently she had turned around to an empty chair and thought I’d left her there alone. She scanned the back of the room until we made eye contact through the glass. I gave her a little wave and a thumbs up of encouragement, but it was too late. She started crying.

I motioned for her to come out and stand in the hallway with me and her brother. We walked the aisles for a moment until they both had calmed down and then went back into the room with tiny chairs to finish up Story Time.

We made our selections for the week and were heading to the check out counter when the librarian introduced herself to Daphne. As she engaged my daughter in a series of questions so that I could scan our books  {How old are you? What’s your little brother’s name?}, Henry lost his patience and made sure we all knew it.

I awkwardly joked with the librarian, “I guess it’s time for us to run out on you again.”

The librarian smiled and said, “I thought you handled it really well. You’d be surprised what some parents let their kids do. It’s like they don’t care what anyone thinks.”

Hmm.

Hours later when my kids were played with, fed, read to {the new library books obviously} and tucked in for a nap, I was still thinking about what the librarian said. Do people really just let their children be disruptive during such a calm activity? Do I care about what people think? Is that why I left?

It’s not that I was terribly concerned with what the parents thought of me or my parenting choices {we’re all just doing our best, right?} and I’m certainly not losing sleep over the fact that my son couldn’t keep perfectly still or quiet {he’s 1, ok?}. So why was my reaction to make my kids leave the room?

It wasn’t that I cared what people thought about me personally. I did, however, care a great deal about what they thought about their experience and my family’s ability to impact it.

Suddenly, I was reminded of flying on an airplane with my daughter when she was a baby. It was awful. Awful. Even though she cried the entire flight, I never worried that the other passengers were thinking that I was a horrible mom. They may have been, but I just didn’t care what they thought about me personally. I did my best to acknowledge the disruption {verbally with the flight attendants and through a gesture or facial expression with several passengers nearby}. I was clearly trying to calm her down {a.k.a. not a horrible mom} and I apologized to those around me after the flight.

Unless you live and work alone and rarely venture outside, you’re going to encounter a lot of different people everywhere you go. Have you ever had someone not hold the elevator for you? Rude. Or been standing in line at the bank and the person behind you is yapping away on his cell phone? Come on!

Both on that plane ride and at the library, my choices were telling the people around me that I cared what they thought.

So while you don’t have to {and shouldn’t} care what people think about you {you do you, girlfriend} I do think that the librarian was correct. Many people don’t care what anyone thinks. But they should.

If we all cared a little more about what people thought, we might just make their day a little better.

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How I’m cleaning up my work from home life

Friday is here which means I’ve survived my second week working from home. While I managed to stay on task and get my work complete, I cannot say that I was a role model for establishing some healthy work habits.

Earlier this week, I panicked. My sweet darlings are home with me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which means I work quite a bit in the evenings. {A trade off I welcomed in exchange for more time with my family.}

Tuesday morning went all right. We painted and built race car tracks and played school bus. We kept busy, which kept the peace.

By mid-morning; however, things took a turn for the worse. I got anxious about my looming list of things to do before the kids returned to school on Thursday morning. I constantly felt pulled to respond to emails or do just one little thing that would earn a check mark of accomplishment on my to-dos. But my obviously distracted parenting led my children into one of the hardest places to come back from in our house.

Boredom.

When my nearly four-year-old daughter gets bored, she turns into a whining, lethargic television magnet. She won’t play. She won’t read. She won’t color. {But she will repeatedly tell you that she won’t play, read or color.} My husband and I try to limit the amount of TV time she gets, but she eagerly cashed in her 30 minutes with Mickey Mouse for the day by 10 a.m.

My toddler actually plays really well by himself most of the time. He loves his cars and books and trains. But when he gets bored, he throws stuff. He punches stuff. Or breaks stuff. Sometimes all three at once. He sure knows how to liven up this bore-fest.

That is when it hit me. Literally. My son hit me with a cardboard book as if to say “hey, read this to me NOW!” Daphne looked up from the hot dog dance. Henry flashed his innocent doe-eyes at me as if he hadn’t just chucked Little Blue Truck at my head. I was so preoccupied reading through emails during what was supposed to be family time that I probably hadn’t even noticed my son’s non-violent attempts at getting me to read to him.

It was time to set some boundaries. For myself.

Email Overhaul

I decided right then and there before my new book bump had even finished forging onto my noggin that if I couldn’t be strong-willed enough to not check my emails, then I just had to get rid of them altogether.

For Christmas, my husband gifted me an old, broken iPhone of mine that he had restored so that my 1,500+ photos and videos could be salvaged. I’d been using it as an iPod the last few weeks since it still carried all my old music on it, too.

I retrieved the iPhone and got out my current Samsung Galaxy. I quickly removed all work-related email accounts from my current phone and uploaded them all into the iPhone. Ta da! Work phone, personal phone. My work phone stays tucked away on family days and {so far} has been enforced just as tightly as Daphne’s TV time.

Invest in Efficiency

Two things you should know about me if you don’t already. 1. I’m pretty frugal. 2. I’m an extremely efficient worker. With that being said, there are so many resources out there these days to streamline work flow, particularly for marketing and advertising agencies. I’ve always resisted the urge to take advantage of them, or would only utilize the services that were offered for free, because being a boutique agency I’m able to serve all of my clients in what I felt was a reasonable amount of time anyway.

But if by week two I was freaking out about getting everything done and subsequently hindering family time, it was time to loosen the purse strings to make an investment in my new business. While I may be incredibly quick and accurate at doing my work, why wouldn’t I want to couple that with a program that would continue to work for me on my days off?

First, I did a lot of research on programs that would assist me with the social media management component of my business. After a lot of comparisons – from price, to ability, to interface – I decided to sign up with Sendible. The best part? They offer a 1-month free trial, phone support, and training webinars.

Second, I signed up for QuickBooks Self-Employed. I’m already familiar with QuickBooks online from doing the books for my husband’s business a few years ago. It’s incredibly user-friendly and because it syncs directly to my bank account, I don’t have to remember to make any entries myself. Taxes are no joke and there are so many ways for small business owners to make mistakes. Investing in this online program allows me to work more closely with our CPA and track my income and expenses without being responsible for the initial recording of them.

Finally, I upgraded to Canva for Work. Canva is a great online resources for non-designers to pretend to be designers. While I’m fairly literate in InDesign and other Adobe products, I am not a trained graphic designer and have wasted quite a bit of time attempting to be one. I have used Canva for over a year to make really quality images to use for social media, signage, invitations and more. The reason I decided to up the ante from the free version is to save myself time. Canva for Work has the added benefit of saving everything you need for your brand{s}. You can save a color palettes, logos, templates, fonts and more. This investment was the hardest for me, because it seems like a luxury when it offers a great version at no cost. With that being said, I have huge plans for all of that time I intend to save not having to type in my hex colors each and every time I design an image.

I feel less stressed and less distracted already. These three investments were definitely worth it.

{Note: For print pieces and particular projects, there is absolutely NO substitute to a good graphic designer.}

Be the Teacher

I had to help oversee a work event for my former employer last week,  and while I was there someone said something that really resonated with me. She asked how winter break was and I mentioned that the dreaded ‘B’ word had sneaked its way into our house during the second week my kids were home from school. I added that they were looking forward to going back to school {mom included} because of the structure and plethora of activities coordinated by their teachers. She just looked at me and said, “you can be the teacher.”

Once I got past the idea of me standing in front of them singing songs about the weather in an attempt to replicate circle time, I realized that she probably meant that I could incorporate the things that my children respond to at school into our home. For my daughter in particular, I concluded that was the constant flow of predictable activity.

When it comes to my business, I plan. I schedule out my time for meetings, projects and emails. In order to be a teacher to my kids, I needed to apply these same principles to my household like a lesson plan.

I kept the entire family in mind as I lesson-planned. We all get stir-crazy, especially during these winter months, so I first looked for indoor activities that wouldn’t break the bank if we did them every week. My mom got us a family membership to Wonderscope Children’s Museum for Christmas, so {purely because they both start with the letter ‘W’} Wonderscope Wednesdays was born. It was easy to get both of my kids excited to pack up snacks and head out to play and learn.

Coming up with something to do on Tuesdays was a bit more challenging. While Kansas City has a ton to offer, I was determined to create some habits for our family to build some consistency in our new days-at-home schedule. After all, me being home with the kids isn’t just new and challenging for me. My daughter downsized from full-time 5 days a week pre-school, as well, and she’s had an equally difficult time adjusting to the unpredictability of each day.

This week I decided we’d go check out the Johnson County Library, something I thought was a luxury for stay-at-home parents. Well, we had a great experience and I learned a lot. {You can check out 150 books at a time. Everything is DYI with a library card. They have movies and video games. What?!} The best part? A 9:30 a.m. Tuesday morning story time kicks off next week. Jackpot! We’ve read the 4 books we checked out 1 million times and both kids are already asking when we get to go back and pick out more books. While I will continue to look for other free opportunities in town, it’s safe to say that Library Tuesday will become a thing. {Catchier name ideas are welcomed.}

It’s only been a week, but everything went swimmingly. I was more engaged with my children, didn’t spend any money, and honestly didn’t even think twice about my iPhone pinging away with emails at home. The best part? No one got bored.