“They inspire me to be my very best”

Q&A with Kristal Ronnebaum

I’ve never been one to believe in soulmates. I believe that relationships take two people actively choosing to love one another, even on the bad days.

Yet when I met Kristal Ronnebaum for the first time I instantly knew that we were soul sisters. We caught up over lunch and by the end practically finished each other’s sentences between laughing and crying with one another while sharing our personal and professional highs and lows.

And, not unlike that initial lunch together, Kristal’s interview isn’t brief, but it is chock full of love and wisdom. My soul sister bares it all to you in this week’s Working Mom Wednesday.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I am the proud Sales and Marketing Manager for a Veterinary Pharmaceutical Manufacturer in Lenexa and am also Kansas City’s Marketing Lead for Baby Love, KC’s Only Baby Fair. We will host twice this year on June 12 and November 13 at the Overland Park Convention Center.

What can mamas expect at Baby Love?

Baby Love, KC’s Only Baby Fair is a day of celebration, pampering and education for Kansas City’s new and expecting families. We feature this city’s finest resources in baby products, services and education all in one convenient place. The skills they will acquire are designed to give them a head start in their exciting new journey of parenthood. If you’re already a mommy, I’m very confident we’ve got plenty of new tips and tricks for you too!

Where did you come up with the idea?

As you know as a new mommy, there are plenty of late night/early morning moments with just you and your bundle of joy. It’s also a time of great self-reflection and a moment or two when you think to yourself, “Oh My God, What am I DOING?” It was one of those nights as I was nursing Connor and thought, “why in the world is there no event that gives us all the sweet loving we need as new parents, but also help for the things we never thought we needed to know?”

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”Oh My God, What am I DOING?” #thingsmomsays #firsttimemom #workingmomwednesday[/tweetthis]

What’s the craziest thing that’s happened during a show?

I love that you asked this! At our very first event last August, one of our most exciting activities was a LIVE Gender Reveal for one lucky family on stage! The couple invited all of their family to be there and even perfect strangers at the show were on pins and needles to see if this baby was a BOY or GIRL! We scored this giant 36’ balloon filled with the corresponding pink or blue color of confetti and they would pop the balloon on stage at the end of the countdown for all to see. It was going to be EPIC! The night before the show, we took the balloon to a local {not to be mentioned} party store to fill it with helium and on the way back to the convention center it exploded. PINK confetti everywhere! Praise Carey Wickersham, our local Kansas City author of The Wonder Within You and her amazing husband for saving the day. They raced to a local home store, snagged a huge box, filled it with pink balloons tied to the inside, decorated the outside of the box with wrapping paper and created the most amazing solution for us. You can read all about it on her blog, but the moral of the story: EVERYTHING is figure-out-able!

baby love baby expo — Read on to find out how to enter to win!

How has your business changed since you first envisioned it?

How long do I have? 🙂 The beginning of this lightning moment started as a boutique-style event and was held at the Deer Creek Golf Club just 7 months after Connor was born. By our second year, we welcomed over 300 guests and 60 community partners to the Honey Dews Baby Expo.

Funny thing about life, it throws you curve balls and the true test of your character is how you handle them and respond when it does. We very surprisingly learned I got pregnant THE week of the Honey Dews Baby Expo in April 2014. {Don’t let anybody ever tell you that you can’t get pregnant when you’re stressed! HA!} Sadly we lost that baby in early June and I hit rock bottom. We had suffered two other losses, but this one was above all the most paralyzing. Moving forward, I knew things needed to look differently and as more and more of our proud supporters would ask me when the next event date was and tell me I should host twice a year, what once burst my heart wide open in the most glorious ways now caused me pangs of anxiety.

Then in October 2014, one of our sponsors called to say the girls of Baby Love, Omaha’s Only Baby Fair were planning to bring their event to Kansas City and that I should reach out to them. So Kristi Wilson {the Founder} and I had lunch. We cried through much of it as we realized we shared the exact same heart and vision only THIS chick was an overwhelming success in Omaha! Her events draw 3,000-5,000 guests each time she hosts. It was the perfect fit. I already knew what wonderful resources we had to offer here and had created fantastic relationships with our supporters and she had the business model to draw the masses. We knew we would be better together. Honey Dews Baby Expo joined the ranks of Baby Love, KC’s Only Baby Fair and well, the rest is history!

We launched our first event together in August 2015 and welcomed over 6,000 guests to the Overland Park Convention Center! And the cherry on top? I got pregnant again in September and Miss Jordyn just celebrated her First birthday on Tuesday, May 17!

Any advice for someone with an itch to pursue a passion project?

Many people live their entire lives not experiencing that Lightning Moment. If you are one of the lucky few that it strikes, please I’m begging you…don’t ignore it. It’s not your job to figure out how to do it but to simply begin. Trust me, what you original thought it would be will probably look quite different by the time it’s all said and done. Find yourself an accountabilibuddy. This “buddy” will hold you accountable for all you are capable of being. They know your dreams and your visions and keep you on track when the going gets tough. And finally, say it out loud and write it down. Your chances of it happening go up exponentially!

What is a typical day like for you?

Up at 6 a.m. and into the office by 8 am…okay maybe closer to 8:13 a.m. It amazes me that it really takes every second in between to get us out the door. That is really the only “typical” part of any day and I prefer it that way.

Sure I have my to-do lists {I should own stock in Post-It} but that’s what I love about what I do both full-time and for Baby Love. I save my lunch hours for meetings with Baby Love partners and hit the gym on the weekends and right after work 2-3 days a week before I pick up the children from school. Taking care of myself is non-negotiable on the list. I can feel myself slipping when I don’t and that isn’t fair to anyone. I’m pretty loyal to my facials, massages and pedicures too. When I feel great, I find myself a better wife, mother, friend and everything in between.

One of my favorite tips as a working mom is to come home after school and before we do anything else, sit down with them for 15 minutes and play whatever they want. It seems like such a small amount of time but it allows me to really be present with them and watch their little innocent souls get lost in creativity. Dinner, the dishes, laundry, etc. it can all wait!

What’s your favorite thing about being a mom?

I’m more mindful and present in everything I do with them and for them. I know they are watching my every move and they inspire me to be my very best. The nice part about life is that there’s always tomorrow. If we had a rough day, we get to go to bed and “try harder next time.”

Your babies didn’t come easily for you. What would you tell a friend struggling to start a family of her own?

First of all, there is nothing you can tell a friend that will make it better. Your only job is to SHOW UP. Coffee, Wine or just a good ole cry in the Target parking lot. Just listen and hug and listen some more. Please don’t keep it locked inside. I think it’s tragic that the struggle with loss like this is so taboo to talk about. Not that it makes me feel better to know so many others suffered too, but just that I’m not alone. Now I’m going to get really real. Hold on to your husband/partner tight. I mean REALLY tight. Tighter than you’ve ever held on to anything in your entire life. I remember so vividly the look of complete despair in his face not just when it happened but all the days {some better than others} leading up to getting pregnant again. I felt so helpless and I knew he was hurting too. He and I have always been able to “fix it” for each other. We never did find out what caused those miscarriages exactly. That’s the worst part. You want answers but sometimes there’s just nothing. I look at him now and think of all we have overcome to be here in this moment and am completely overwhelmed with love and admiration for this man. I’m sad it takes such challenges and despair to see it sometimes, but nevertheless I am beyond grateful.

What are the highs and lows of being a working mom?

The highs are this absolutely indescribable love that beams out of me every day. I still have to pinch myself that they are mine. It’s so fun to see a little bit of me and Joe and our personalities in both of them. They are absolutely hilarious! Connor says when I’m nursing Jordyn that she’s getting “skin milk.” They dance and they sing and they are pure joy. Oh sure we struggle big time some days but of course we do. That’s what makes it all real and helps us not to take anything for granted. The lows of being a mom will always be that little ping of mommy guilt that sneaks up on me sometimes especially when I just want to stay home and snuggle them all day long. But then I remember those skills and talents God gave just to me and I head back into the world to share them. Deep down I know the incredible skills my babies are acquiring in their school too and those are lessons that can only be taught in that environment. Joe and I want to be an example for our children that when you dig in deep and give the world all your hustle and grind, anything can be yours.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]When you dig in deep and give the world all your hustle and grind, anything can be yours. #dreambig[/tweetthis]

Finish this sentence. If I could go back and do it all again, I wish someone would have told me that…

I should stop building dams and throwing rocks into the river of life and forcing it to go the direction I choose. Stop worrying and have faith that the Universe has my back so long as I am true to myself. God made each of us with our own special set of skills and talents. I owe it to the world to show up and share them. Trust that the river will do its job and will take me exactly where I am meant to go. Often times it will take me to places more beautiful and rewarding that I could have ever imagined on my own.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

To me, having it all takes a lifetime. That’s really what the journey is all about. I’ll always be looking for ways to be better and do more because that wheel never really stops spinning when you see the world like I do. The moment you are grateful for all that you have in your life, confirming that you have it all is really the most positive affirmation out there. So relatively speaking yes, I do have it all and am beyond grateful for all that is now and what will be in the future. I’m most importantly grateful for every step it took me to get here.

Don’t forget to enter to win two (2) tickets to Baby Love, KC’s Only Baby Fair on Sunday, June 12 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Overland Park Convention Center. Simply leave a comment below or on Facebook or Instagram and share what makes you most excited about becoming a mommy OR if you are already a mommy, what gives you the greatest joy? Winner will be announced Friday, May 27.

Tickets are $8 in advance and $12 at the door. Once you are inside the event, ALL activities are FREE! Learn infant CPR, infant massage, how to create a safe nursery, childproof your home, install your car seat, and so much more! Join us in the Mommy Pampering Station for a free massage, too! Over $20,000 in prizes will be given away that day!

For all the juicy event details, please visit www.kcbabyfair.com. Additional questions? Kristal wants you to reach out to her directly via email. See you at the show, mamas!

May 18, 2016May 18, 2016

“Be present as these moments go by fast”

Q&A with Violette de Ayala

Today’s a big day! Femfessionals Kansas City is celebrating it’s one year anniversary. While I couldn’t be more excited to recognize the amazing women {like her and her and her} who make our community great, it will also be bittersweet as I pass on the presidency in preparation for my upcoming move.

My year launching Femfessionals in Kansas City wouldn’t even have been possible without the woman behind it all. While I’ve never met Violette de Ayala in person, I’ve shared countless conversations with her by phone, email and social platforms.

Not only did Violette teach me the profound impact we can have on one another {often without even knowing one another in the tradition sense}, but she’s showed me {and thousands of others} that we become our best, most successful selves when we lift up one another.

Self-promo time. What do you do?

I am the Founder and CEO of Femfessionals and committed to helping millions of women grow business together, in positivity and in harmony according to their vision.

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

I would be an Angel Investor helping women entrepreneurs grow business! Same thing, but from another perspective.

What on your resume led you here?

I launched my first business at the age of 22 and haven’t stopped launching businesses. I have owned companies in personal training, Pilates, marketing and PR industries. All of my past experience helps me serve women globally from the understanding of knowing how to create a business from scrap funding and limited time. I personally know the real struggle of launching businesses while raising a family and juggling life and work and all the other stuff in between.

It sounds like you’re paying it forward!

The number one question I get is “how do you do it?” As a result, I teach many classes sharing my method of duplicating your productivity in half the time of the norm.

What has been your own biggest setback?

The hardest challenge has been what many women entrepreneurs experience themselves: a lack of funding. More and more companies share through the arms of advertisement how they invest in women and their businesses. Yet still, its incredibly difficult for women to find outside funding. We didn’t have the financial funding/support like some of the other organizations. We had to wear many hats and work 75-hour work weeks and make less then minimum wage a few times. We are not alone in that scenario. I hope to personally change this in the future.

What keeps you motivated?

Hearing the ways our organization has changed the lives of thousands of women. They have grown businesses together, shifted their lives to walk in their purpose and become friends along the way. That’s the best! I love to see our FEMS connect on social media and work together to lift one another up.

Finish this sentence. If I could go back and do it all again, I wish someone would have told me that…

…it will all work out and stop the stressing.

What is a typical day like for you?

My typical day is a sitcom on Comedy Central! The standard is 6 am wake up with some email responses. 7 am out the door with the two girls {one on a bus stop and the other directly to school}. I hit Equinox to work out because it makes me a better human. I work back to back until 3 pm carpool. Then 4 pm carpool. Then the pick ups between girl scouts, volleyball and all the other playdates and activities. After dinner and homework time, I connect back at work from 7-9 and then work again from 9:45-10:30. I work on Sunday’s a bit to prepare for the week and that is my golden hour.

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

It takes a planet!!! My village {aka. my planet} is composed of my neighbors, my girlfriends and other mommies. Steve is a great dad and works a lot of hours during the week. On the weekends he helps out and takes the kids out so I have some downtime. I have a great support system.

What’s the best part about being a mom?

The best part of being a mom is witnessing three humans change the world through their kindness and service to others. All three of our little ones, in their own way, are authentic in their connection of how they want to leave their legacy. It’s beautiful to know the world is a better place because of these kiddos.

Any advice for working moms?

Create a network with other moms to help you and be sure to dedicate quality time to your kids. Schedule off work hours/no wifi connectivity time. Be present as these moments go by fast. The worst regret is not being there for those moments that seem ordinary but turn out to be filled of lifetime highlights. Be. Present.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Be present as these moments go by fast. #motherhood #workingmomwednesday[/tweetthis]

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

We all have our own personalized visions, our own desires and goals. “Having it all” {as I define it} is a fluid state of mind that continues from one platform to another one. We never arrive at the state of perfection but instead flow continuously within harmony to our next great milestone. Everything in life is compromise and balance, and between those lines is the sweet spot of having it all. To discover that delicate balance is indeed the gold of the topic.

I always ask my mamas if there is anything else they want to share at the end of their interview. Violette ended with these words: support other women by purchasing from their stores, using their services, recommending them to others and being there to lift others up when needed.

Amen.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

May 4, 2016

“Helping everyone get smart on leave is our passion”

Q&A with the founders of List Your Leave

If you’ve been anywhere near a computer or smart phone this last week, you’ve like already read about the woman coining the phrase “meternity” leave. {I know, eye roll.}

One thing all working moms can agree on is that maternity leave is hardly “me time.” Us mamas are bonded by the endless diaper changes, sore breasts and sleepless nights.

Yet the details surrounding our leave policies are as diverse as our babies themselves.

Enter List Your Leave, a new website that’s on a mission to get women – and men – smart about maternity leave policies before they even need them.

What is List Your Leave?

List Your Leave rel=”no follow” is a free database of maternity and paternity leave policies by company or organization in the U.S., created to be a resource for all working families. It provides policy information and anonymous reviews and company culture ratings so all working families can get smart on leave.

It sounds like working moms are behind the scenes.

We come from a variety of different industries and backgrounds. Most of us are moms and dads, but some of us are just interested in improving the balance between career and family for our friends, families and coworkers. So while we might have other gigs, List Your Leave and helping everyone get smart on leave is our passion project.

Which came first, the positive pregnancy test or the interest in maternity leave?

Most women {and men} are uninformed about their family leave policy before they need it. Which means of course that for most women, including the founders of List Your Leave, the positive pregnancy test comes before the interest in maternity leave policies – but in order to make career and family work, we should all be thinking about family leave well before we have a family.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true” remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Don’t wait until you are in the family planning stage of your career to get educated about your leave benefits.[/tweetthis]

What’s the number one question you’re asked?

The biggest question for List Your Leave is what is my maternity/paternity leave policy? Many think FMLA is paid leave, and many assume when co workers and friends take leave that its paid in some way. But in reality, even if you got a check during your maternity leave, you may not have gotten paid leave. We hope to answer all your maternity leave questions through our database and blog.

What has been your biggest challenge?

Specifically for List Your Leave, our biggest challenge was probably finding the time to start a project like this while working and managing families. Everyone knows that balance can be hard, but the founders of List Your Leave feel the cause of transparency around family leave policies is important enough to commit time and energy to. We have regular catch up calls, strategy calls and each devote specific time set aside for List Your Leave every week. In addition, we stay in touch through texts and chat, because every working mom knows how hard it is to find actual phone time! And the response to List Your Leave has been fantastic – thankfully it is not a challenge to get new parents to understand how much better prepared they would have been for a family leave if they had all the information, and now they can help out other new parents by leaving reviews of their own experience at their company or organization.

Finish this sentence. If I could go back and do it all again, I wish someone would have told me that…

I should have looked at the maternity leave policy for my company before I took the job. For many working mothers, maternity leave is their biggest professional challenge AND setback. Unpaid leave costs new mothers 25-30% of their annual salary. In addition, taking leave can keep women {and men} from receiving annual bonuses and promotions and permanently alter a career trajectory. Knowing a company’s policy before taking a job, or before negotiating your leave with your boss, can make a huge difference in your annual and future salary as well as where you go within your company and career.

What’s the best part about being a mom?

The smiles! Our kiddos are all so excited every time we walk through the door, whether it be to get them up in the morning or when each of us gets home from work, and it is so rewarding to see their faces light up just knowing we get to hang out together. Being a mom is a hard job, but it’s a fun job too. And working moms know time together with their little ones is precious, so we all try to enjoy it every chance we get.

It’s no secret that women are better together. How can moms on List Your Leave support each other?

List Your Leave is providing a platform to help all working moms share their experiences anonymously and help out other moms going through the same confusing process known as maternity leave. And make sure to add a review of your maternity leave experience on List Your Leave so you help other working moms out, and help companies understand we care about leave. Because if employees care about leave, companies will too!

What’s your best piece of advice for women in the workplace who are thinking about starting a family?

Get smart on leave! Do the research and then talk to your employer. List Your Leave can help you understand your benefits and the benefits of other companies in your industry, city or state. Use this as a starting point to talk to your company or in finding a company willing to help you balance a successful career with your family life.

Any tips for businesses?

When companies support their workers in creating both a successful career and a rewarding family life, both benefit tremendously. Data supports this, and List Your Leave believes the way to achieve this for all American workers is through transparency.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you all think you have it all?

Having it all is certainly different for everyone. We think we have it all because we have great jobs, great families, and an opportunity to help other working parents have the same. However, since having it all means something different to everyone we want to make sure your voice is included. Email us at hello@listyourleave.com to tell us what you want to see in a database designed to help you get smarter on the right company/career/path for you!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

April 27, 2016

“It is the best job in the world”

Q&A with Amy Conway

There are two traits that I really admire in a business woman: passion and ambition. Amy Conway is a woman who is lucky enough to possess both. It’s a good thing, too, because after years at home raising her four children Amy is back in the workforce and is a force to be reckoned with herself!

I have known Amy as a stay at home mom, and while there’s no doubt that her family comes first, I’ve enjoyed cheering her on as she’s grown her business over the last year. Which is why I couldn’t wait to collaborate with her on today’s Working Mom Wednesday and Mother’s Day Giveaway!

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I am a mom to four awesome kids: Molly, Kate, Nora and Liam, and lucky wife to Billy for 17 years. It is the best job in the world. My paying gig is with Visage – a promotional marketing solutions company. We get to work with clients to customize their branded apparel and promotional items. It is the second best job in the world.

What’s the coolest order you’ve placed?

A branded putting green for one of my clients to give to their top executive clients. Very fun!

{Want to see the second coolest order? Check out the cozy tee we’re giving away to one lucky mama just in time for Mother’s Day!}

If you weren’t selling swag, what do you think you’d be doing?

My passion is running, so I would love to train for a destination marathon. I am also known as the “baby whisperer” in the family, so I would volunteer at a children’s hospital and just hold babies all day.

You took a hiatus from the workforce to raise your children. Why did you decide to go back to work?

Honestly? It was time to go back to work. My kids were in school all day and, let’s face it, they become more expensive the older they get. I loved my time as a stay at home mom and going back to work is just the next step in taking care of their needs and growing list of wants. This opportunity found me and it has been a perfect fit for me and for my family. I have the flexibility I need to keep this family running along smoothly and I get to experience the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of closing a sale!

What has been the biggest challenge in growing your business?

I love the prospecting piece of finding new clients and developing creative ideas for their marketing plans. However, balancing that with the time spent taking care of my existing clients can be challenging. It works best when I am deliberate about carving out time for each piece.

What is a typical day like for you?

I start with a run-without fail! It’s really the only part of the day I can be sure to get it in! After a quick shower it’s time to herd the cats through breakfast and out the door to school. I’m a lucky gal that my kids are early risers so our mornings are usually fairly peaceful. I am then “all in” for work while the kids are at school, meeting with clients and cranking through the sales process. Then, depending on the season, we hit it hard after school with soccer, baseball, basketball, or track practices along with homework and dinner for the crew.

You have 4 kids. Surely that comes with a bit of chaos?

In order to minimize the inevitable chaos I plan our weeks with the precision of a military attack. I think it is my responsibility to the family to remain calm in the face of crazy. One recent weekday was triple-booked with activities so {after losing sleep over the prospect of a stranded child} I worked out the master plan and engaged all necessary parties. It was completely exhausting, yet successfully executed. At the end of the day, my daughter Kate said, “see mom, it wasn’t so crazy after all!” {If only she knew!}

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]”I plan our weeks with the precision of a military attack” #momoffour #workingmomwednesday[/tweetthis]

What’s the best part about being a mom?

Looking at my kids’ happiness and knowing I play a large part of that. To see Molly beam with happiness in high school, to know that Kate “comes to play” at every soccer game. That Nora would spend every waking moment doing art projects, and Liam would never miss a soccer or baseball practice. Each of our children is such a unique blessing from God. Taking a brief moment of each day to pay attention to that is simply a privilege. It makes all the mean girl drama, endless rides to practice, calming of nerves, art project messes, quickly eaten meals and late night worries all worth it. Knowing they look to me to gauge their response to each new day is a huge responsibility and I do not take it lightly. Anne Lamott says it best: “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

I have a fabulous support network of friends and family. We are blessed to live close to my husband’s family who eagerly helps out and never says “no.” I have learned over the years that it is NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help and that carpooling makes all kinds of sense, even if it is a pain to organize! Although my family lives in other cities, they are great with offering virtual support!

What is one product you love so much that you could be an ambassador for it?

I love our embossed leather journal. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always loved a fresh journal or notebook!

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Be organized. It drives my husband absolutely crazy at times, but being organized helps calm the chaos in our lives. I find it the best go to survival skill in my working mom tool belt.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

This question reminds me of something I read recently. It puts “having it all” in perspective:

Early wake ups = Children to love
House to clean = Safe place to live
Laundry = Clothes to wear
Dishes to wash = Food to eat
Crumbs under table = Family meals
Grocery shopping = $$ to provide for us
Toilets to clean = Indoor plumbing
Lots of noise = People in my life
Endless questions about homework = Children’s brains growing
Sore and tired at the end of the day= I am still alive!

Amy is my partner in crime for our first giveaway here at The Free Mama! Check out the details and you could win some mom swag just in time for Mother’s Day. Looking for some custom goodies of your own? Contact Amy at Visage to get hooked up.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

April 21, 2016April 22, 2016

Working moms are better together

When I launched The Free Mama four months ago, I was simultaneously adjusting to my new work-from-home mompreneur lifestyle. I happily traded in slacks and blouses for yoga pants and cozy tees. I also had to say goodbye to some amazing colleagues who helped make the daily grind much more fun.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that working moms are better together.

Every since I made my transition, I’ve had to make some serious effort to maintain and expand my personal and professional relationships. Sure, it’s comfortable here under my blanket staring at my computer screen, but it can also be lonely and ultimately won’t do much for the growth of my business {or my sanity}.

So I’ve made a point to reach out to as many women as I can to further my mission of supporting working moms. I’ve had the opportunity to share bits and pieces of the lives of the women I interview in each week’s Working Mom Wednesday. It’s such a privilege to learn more about these mamas, and then be able to share their stories to inspire others.

What started with celebrating working moms on the local level, quickly led me to reaching out to more and more women I admire from all over the country. I’ve connected with other writers, entrepreneurs, and activists through emails and phone calls {although not everyone has responded}. These conversations are encouraging me to think bigger about the future of The Free Mama, my business and my family {more on that…}.

Recently I was fortunate enough to join up with two extremely influential working moms. One is a Public Policy Analyst for Mom-mentum, a non-profit whose mission is “Engaging Enriching and Empowering Women.” She’s doing amazing things in Washington, D.C. for women.

The other is an editor at Motherly, a website that shares stories to give women a better way to be a mother with encouragement and support. This week they even featured me as a guest contributor to help moms be more productive. {Pretty please, read it!}

What these weekly interviews and virtual connections are really about is forming relationships. Work is hard. Motherhood is hard.

As women, we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves to be the best at everything all the time. It can be incredibly isolating to try to achieve this impossible standard of perfection.

The truth is, there are many reasons why working moms are better together.

Two mommy minds are better than one

If you’ve ever met me, you know that I’m a pretty confident person. I feel like I have a good grasp on my strengths and am self-aware of my weaknesses. In the workplace, it took me a long time to realize that collaboration could lead to some amazing results; ones I wouldn’t have arrived at on my own, for sure. When it comes to parenting, on the other hand, I’ve always been one to read websites, ask questions, observe others and listen carefully.

When I first decided that I wanted to do the Working Mom Wednesday interviews, it was selfish really. I wanted to learn from other women I admired. Find out how they juggle a family and career and see if I could learn a few tips along the way. Ultimately, every mom will choose to do what’s best for her family, but we can learn so much from one another by judging less and sharing more.

You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours

My neighbor and I have this incredible system. She watches my kids when I need to get work done without frequent interruptions for more snacks from the pantry. I watch her kids when she needs to take a shower or run to the store without a toddler attached to her side. It’s seriously amazing. Moms should be each other’s best friends and allies.

Similarly, the weekly q&a’s became a way for me not only to learn more about working moms, but also to promote their businesses and my new blog simultaneously. I just like a good win/win!

We rise by lifting others

Men may love their sports, but women seem to be the more competitive gender. What I have come to know is that there is plenty of room for all of us to be successful. We can be great without stacking up against one another. In fact, we can all help each other reach higher if we band together.

Without a doubt the best part of posting a new Working Mom Wednesday every week is when I see them go viral on social media and the comments explode. People can’t wait to cheer on their friends as they read about how amazing they are for all that they do. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about doing it all. It’s about candidly sharing how we navigate a sometimes stressful life and choosing to celebrate each small victory. Girl power!

Thank you to all of the working moms who have inspired me thus far. I have absolutely no doubt that the best is yet to come. I also know that it will be much better if we stick together.

April 13, 2016April 25, 2016

“There was no guarantee that I would be successful, but I still took the risk”

Q&A with Dede Palmer

When I first met Dede Palmer, I immediately found myself admiring her confidence. Something about her truly says, “I’ve got this.” After learning more about her background as an accountant and complete 180 degree turn into the bridal industry, it became clear that any sense of accomplishment that Dede portrays is because she’s earned it.

Dede is smart and savvy, sure, but it’s her drive to be great at whatever it is that she decides to take on that is truly inspiring.

But being a numbers gal with a keen eye for ivory gowns is just one piece of what makes this working mom a success. She takes care of her family the same way she operates her business – by giving them 110%.

Self-promo time. Tell me about your business.

I own Altar Bridal, a boutique that specializes in selling designer wedding gowns and wedding day accessories. The store opened June 1, 2010 in Kansas City, MO, just south of the Plaza. I made the decision to move the store to Leawood, KS July 2014. We opened with and continue to focus on carrying a collection of gowns by designers that are up and coming, have a unique flair about them, are made with high quality in mind, and that are not carried by other boutiques in the Greater Kansas City area. We also LOVE to support local Kansas City designers. We currently have 2 local gown designers that we work with as well as numerous local accessory designers.

If making brides look good wasn’t your job, what would you doing?

I love teaching and helping others problem solve. So, I could go for teaching classes at the college level or small business consulting.

What is the best part of being a business owner?

Freedom {for the most part}. And not just freedom from the day to day grind of the office job I used to have, but freedom to choose how I run my business. Freedom to decide what my day is going to look like…or at least how I think it will look. You never know what the next phone call or email will bring you in the bridal business.

Tell me about a time you failed or really messed up.

Oh boy. Failure is like a demon to me. I’ve never really wanted to do or try anything that I might fail at until I started this business. And even then the early mantra was “Failure is not an option.” Since then, I’ve been trying to be ok with the possibility of failing. And so while I don’t really have any massive failure to report, there have been lots of mistakes along the way. I’d say the biggest one was over-hiring early on for the store. I thought I needed numerous employees – but really that was just a cash suck. I’ve loved everyone that has worked at the store at one time or another, but if I could go back in time, I know I would do things a bit differently when it comes to hiring and managing my payroll expenses.

How did you overcome it?

I now run the store pretty lean. But try to recognize when we do need the extra hands on deck. I’m also better about managing hours being worked and only hiring and having staff work when I need them.

What is a typical day like for you?

Hmmm, doesn’t exist. But I think that is one of the perks of owning your own business. Now that I have a staff at the store that I can fully trust and rely on, I don’t have to be at the store every day. Which is life changing. If I want to go to the gym, get laundry done, work on some store marketing, take my daughter to violin, balance the store checkbook, get dinner started, promo a trunk show on social media…I can. All in one day.

They say it takes a village. Who takes your daughter to violin if you can’t swing it?

This is where my family is so blessed beyond measure it’s hard to even explain. About 6 years ago we became friends with two other families that had kiddos about the same age as ours. Over the last 6 years all of us have truly become friends that are family. We eat dinner together 1-2 times a week on average. Our kids are more like siblings. And whenever someone needs backup, it’s a no-brainer, they will be there. It’s awesome. I can’t imagine getting through life without them.

Have you had to miss a moment in your child’s life that you regret?

Of course I’ve missed some moments here and there but nothing that I deeply regret. But if I didn’t have the freedom that I do because of owning my own business, and was back in the cubicle crunching numbers…I fear I might have a different answer.

What is your favorite part about being a mom?

Just knowing what it’s like to love a human being like you love no one else in the world. I know that sounds cheesy, but when I truly stop the world around me and intentionally look at my kiddos, it takes my breath away. In those moments, it’s when I feel the overwhelming feelings of love and responsibility for these two human beings.

If your kids take away one thing from you running a business, what do you think that would be?

I hope that they realize that there was no guarantee that I would be successful {still isn’t}, but that I still took the risk, put myself out there, and did the hard work. I don’t want them to ever second guess their ability to follow their passions or fear failure without even trying.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true” remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]I don’t want them to ever second guess their ability to follow their passions or fear failure without even trying.[/tweetthis]

What keeps you sane?

Time off. Like off the grid, time-off.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Don’t worry about the other moms. Do what works for you and what makes you feel like being a good mom to your kiddos.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Yes. I have a loving family, amazing friends, food in my belly and roof over my head. What else do ya really need? Well, besides a few cute outfits to make you feel fashionable on a gloomy day.

If you know someone getting ready to tie the knot, I can think of no one better to outfit the bride to be in the gown of her dreams than Dede and her staff at Altar Bridal.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

April 6, 2016April 25, 2016

“Helping every kid be active, be social and belong”

Q&A with Deb Wiebrecht

I first met Deborah Wiebrecht when she was stepping into her role as Executive Director of a local chapter of a not-for-profit. She set up a meeting to ask for some free promotions and left with a new member of the young professional leg of the organization. Not only is Deb an incredible mom making a difference, but her ability to make you want to be a better person is also a persuasive recruiting tactic!

Deb is a refreshing burst of energy {when asked what her biggest challenge is professionally she admitted to making a few mistakes as she’s always going 100 mph!} and someone who lives and breathes the mission of her work. If you know Deb, you know who she serves for a living.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do and how long you’ve been doing it.

I’ve been the Executive Director of Variety Children’s Charity- Variety KC for 5 years. Variety KC has been helping local kids with special needs for 80 years. Helping every kid be active, be social and belong!

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

It’s funny. This is the perfect job for me because it includes everything I love: kids, helping others, marketing, selling promoting and making an impact and difference that is tangible in other’s lives! I love children because they are authentic and their hearts are true and to see them shine is energizing. But if I had to choose another dream job….hmmm. I was Miss Wisconsin-USA and being Miss USA would have been my earlier dream job. Traveling around the United States making a difference and impacting others lives with a platform- that’s a Dream Job. I was also the host of a National TV show and that was super fun. Combining those two would be the perfect job, a national title for exposure and credibility on a TV show. Making a real difference to a large audience and motivating others to do the same. Maybe I should create a realty show with Variety KC on TLC!

I would watch that! You get to work with amazing kids every day. Does any particular story stand out?

Every day I hear of a life changing story. People post on our Facebook and write blogs on how we have changed their child’s life, from providing a communication device so a child can communicate with his parents for the first time {telling them pain levels, how they feel, or that they love them} to riding an adaptive bike for the first time to get exercise and belong like the other neighborhood kids. My most recent story was a Facebook message from a mom that I will share with you:

You probably don’t remember meeting us, but we were at Arrowhead for the Taylor Swift concert September 2011. You and your husband approached us with Ethan and you asked about him, talked to him and were so kind.

What you don’t know is how much that meant to me. Ethan had been discharged from Children’s Mercy earlier that same week after having a heart valve replaced and we weren’t even sure until that day that he could tolerate going to the concert. He had been in heart failure for months, and we had spent all summer fighting it with hospital stays and meds and he had missed so much school and events due to his condition. And the thought of him having to possibly miss seeing his favorite singer in concert broke my heart. I was angry and struggling with the whys of everything surrounding Ethan’s illness and his life struggles and the difficulty of being a special needs parent. Then you came up to him and acknowledged him when most people look away or avoid him. You treated him with such respect and kindness, my heart soared. And my whys were answered that night. Why I was given the honor of being Ethan’s mom-struggles and all-it was so I would meet some of the most amazing people, and you are definitely one of those people.

Thank you for all you do for our special kiddos. And thanks for taking those few moments, on your personal time with your family, to stop and make Ethan feel special. It did not go unnoticed and will never be forgotten.

I would love for my family to get involved with Variety’s events and continue to foster their goal of inclusion for all our special kids. Please let me know how we can help.

Ethan’s parents

The best part of Variety is the families we serve that become an extension of our family, and many of them give back with time and volunteering. It’s amazing that I may fundraise to provide medical equipment for a child, but the families feel the gift is much bigger than that. We provide inclusion and a sense of belonging for their family, so they give back to Variety twofold.

What is a typical day like for you?

No day is the same. I am an early bird. I walk 4 miles at 5:45 a.m. with a friend for my girl time, exercise and free talk therapy. Then my day is surrounded by meeting interesting people. It’s a lot of meetings, organizing events, creating social media posts and newsletters, writing grants, communicating with board of directors, creating fundraisers, and ordering equipment. I try to meet 1,000 people a year to connect into our mission, write hand written thank you notes {if possible} and I always make time to drive thru for a Starbucks Venti Skim Latte!

You’re working on a big event right now. Tell us about it.

The Annual Variety Show 2016. We called it Variety Show to help promote our brand, which is to work with a variety of kids with a variety of special needs. So we host a fundraising event that uses a variety of talent to help entertain and to raise funds for these awesome kids. It will be this Saturday, April 9^th at the Midland presented by HyVee. Comedian Gary Gulman, singer-Drew Six, artist Mike Debus, a Photo Bus, a Kendra Scott Jewelry Pull, local restaurants, open bar and a variety of fun Silent and Live auction items!

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

You are always a mom, whether your kids are babies, teens or adults, you never stop worrying, praying and celebrating their highs and lows…ever! My husband is amazing and funny! We had a pact that I raise the kids from ages 1-7 and he got everything over that age. He is calm, understanding and so smart.

What’s the best part about being a mom?

Loving on your kids and showering them with attention and surprises. Trying to create happy memorable moments for their personal history. Being a mom is the most rewarding journey in life, and you’re not limited by being a biological mom. You can be a positive inspiration to any child you come in contact with, sometimes it just starts with a genuine smile, kind words or act of goodness that may be that moment that inspires someone forever.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Being a mom is the most rewarding journey in life #workingmomwednesday[/tweetthis]

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Use every experience or volunteer opportunity, good or bad, and learn from it, save it and use it!

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Wow! I’m impressed with your goal. I do not have it all, but I do have what I need!

There are a number of ways to get involved with Variety Children’s Charity both in Kansas City and other cities nationwide.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 30, 2016April 18, 2016

“Do what makes you happy”

You know when you’ve followed someone’s career for so long you feel like you know them? {Kind of like my lifelong obsession with the Olsen twins and subsequent delusion that we’re friends?}

Well, that’s how I feel about Melanie Knopke. Her familiar face can be found describing the newest style trends on local news stations or sharing her latest fashion finds in magazines.

Not only does she know her stuff when it comes to her way around your closet, but she’s also a savvy working mom who has taken her passion for fashion and her experience in the industry to create a work from home business that works for her busy family.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I am a wardrobe stylist, freelance writer, on-air personality, blogger and photography enthusiast.

Which came first, the fashion or the blog?

The fashion! Since I was young, I knew I would make a career in fashion. I have worked in the fashion industry for almost 20 years. I moved from sales into management at Nordstrom in Chicago then on to buying for Mark Shale and after kids I started my own styling business. I started the blog 7 years ago after I had my first child and quit working to be at home with him. I was missing my creative outlet, so I started Scout-A Mom’s Guide to Stylish Living to fill that void in my life.

What’s your must-have fashion item right now?

A great handbag! I am a big believer in the high-low way of dressing; mixing budget items with investment pieces. I always invest in good bags, because clothing trends may come and go, or your size may fluctuate but a great bag never goes out of style!

If styling wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

This is a hard question because there are so many things I am passionate about and would love to do. But, I always dreamed of designing swimwear. Especially approaching 40, it’s hard to find great fitting/age appropriate swimsuits!

Tell me about a professional roadblock you’ve had.

When I moved to Kansas City from Chicago I applied for a buying job and didn’t get it. I was devastated; especially coming from a big city with unparalleled buying experience. But, it just wasn’t meant to be, and I feel like everything happens for a reason. Not getting that job pushed me to start writing my blog, starting my personal styling business, and doing on-air promotional work for big brands in Kansas City like the Legends Outlets and Park Place.

How has your professional life changed since having kids?

My job is unique because I am a work from home/stay at home mom. So, now instead of working a full day like I did before kids, I now have to schedule my work around my kids {and my husbands job}. When my daughter is in preschool 3 days I week I cram all my work into those days. Or, I will work with clients on the weekends when my husband is home. Somedays I wish I just had a pre-set schedule, 9-5, but for now this is what works for us! I am going to try to take advantage of this small window of being home with them before they are both in school full time.

What is a typical day like for your family?

I wish I had a typical day! I wear a variety of hats, so every day is different. Because my husband runs a fitness studio he is gone in the mornings, so I am hustling to get everyone out the door. I then will go workout right after I drop my daughter off, then it’s a race to fit in work between 10 and my daughters pickup time which is 2:30. Somedays I am pulling for a styling job, or I am helping a client clean out their closet, or I may be photographing looks for my blog. It’s rare that I have just a day for nails and lunch with friends, but I do like to squeeze that in when I can! After school I juggle car pool to and from practices, getting homework done and cooking for my family. Kids go to bed early, and typically my husband and I enjoy dinner together when he gets back from Health House after teaching class or training clients.

So your hubby is also an entrepreneur – what’s that like?

It has its pros and cons for sure! Pros being that we are always bouncing ideas off one another, and we both understand the hustle it takes to get your own business off of the ground. We are very supportive of one another, and we juggle both of our schedules to be able to do what we love and raise a family at the same time. The cons would be the stress of running your own business…we have risked a lot to follow our dreams, but it is totally worth it! There is nothing more rewarding than being your own boss and watching your business succeed.

They say it takes a village. Who else helps you with your kiddos?

When my husband isn’t working he is a huge help! He often will pick the kids up from school if I have a client, or in the morning he will take them to school if I have a news segment. Since my kids were young we have had a large pool of babysitters to call. I always have 3-4 girls on speed dial. I couldn’t live without my great crew of sitters!

What do you hope your children take away from you working?

I hope that they are proud of their mom. I want them to be able to go back and read my blog, or watch old news segments and say “my mom had a really cool job.” I hope that they will be inspired to follow their dreams; whatever they may be.

What is one product or service you love so much that you could be an ambassador for it?

Ok, I am picking two…when it comes to fashion the ladies that look the most together have their basics irrefutably right. If you shop at J.Crew, you can’t go wrong. They are classic, affordable, and you will always look like you aren’t trying too hard. Second, Lasers! I don’t believe that face products will turn back the hands of time, but lasers are proven! The Halo or BBL laser is one of the best things you can do for your skin.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Do what makes you happy! If you aren’t happy that will trickle down into every aspect of your life. Especially how you treat your husband and your children. Figure out what works the best for you first and then everything will fall into place. Happy Wife {Mom} Happy Life!

[tweetthis]Do what makes you happy! Happy Wife {Mom} Happy Life! [/tweetthis]

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I have a wonderful and supportive husband, two healthy and hilarious kids, a job that allows me to do what I love and still raise my kids…I feel very lucky! Would I like to be making more money and working more consistently? Yes…of course. But for now what I am what doing fulfills me and keeps me well rounded. So, I am going to be thankful and just keep hustling and hope that my business will continue to grow and that my job will continue to evolve as it has over the past 10 years.

Keep your closet cool with Melanie’s wardrobe styling services or check her blog for some fashion inspiration!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 23, 2016April 18, 2016

“We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves or other moms”

Q & A with Katie Galicia

I am so excited that Katie agreed to do today’s Working Mom Wednesday interview.

Our paths crossed after I reached out via email about a collaboration with Femfessionals and was invited to a meeting to discuss the possible partnership further.

I was a tad disheveled and didn’t want to be late after forgetting the rules of downtown parking {a massive SUV without a single quarter in it for the meter! I finally gave up a valet parked at the hotel across the street. #suburbanmom}. Katie made me feel welcomed and at ease. She is an amazing listener and incredibly kind, both of which make her great at her job and a great mom!

When I learned that she had four boys and was new-ish to the workforce, I had a million questions running through my mind. Luckily, she let me ask a handful of them and shared her answers with you all.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I started working full time last May as the Membership Coordinator at Central Exchange; it is a non-profit organization that provides a venue and voice for women seeking to reach their full personal and professional potential. I provide support to the Chief Membership Officer along with managing and maintaining over 1,100 memberships. I am usually the first person that a new member hears from and I work closely with them to ensure they are utilizing their membership to the fullest.

Along with membership I oversee Emerging Leaders; it is a yearlong female focused leadership development program; it gives me the opportunity to meet and learn from high profile female executives.

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing ?

I’ve secretly always wanted to be a police officer. The thrill, the rush, helping people in our community and making it a safer environment not only for my boys, but the community. Yet, I’m also scared of what comes with putting your life on the line. I’ve never shot a gun, let alone held a gun!

What is it like working with a bunch of women?

It’s not what most would think or imagine; I wasn’t even sure what to think when I started. I am a mom of four boys with two brothers, so I am not use to being around women. I love it though. I’ve always wanted sisters and this is as close as I will get! I work with an amazing group of women. We are here to support, help and build up each other in so many ways! I have built what I see will be long term friendships with these women and can’t imagine not being around them.

You took a hiatus from the workforce to raise your children. Why did you decide to go back?

My youngest was 9 years old {oldest 16} and I started to notice I wasn’t needed as much as before, whether it was at school or at home. I guess you could say I raised them too good! They were very independent, which was hard for me to face.

I found things to do {don’t get me wrong, because with four boys there is always something that needs to be done}; however, I was starting to feel that I was missing out on something and needed to do more for myself. I had given so much of my life and time to my boys and the household that I knew my time to venture out was near.

[tweetthis]I was starting to feel that I was missing out on something and needed to do more for myself.[/tweetthis]

What was the biggest challenge when starting the job search again?

My biggest challenge was where to begin? What had I missed out on and what I was lacking compared to others that had been in the workforce the entire time I was away. I needed to find out what I liked to do, wanted to do and what were my skills. Realizing all of this and what I was up against definitely busted my confidence bubble! And it was scary.

How did you tackle it?

I started looking at job posts, doing some research and seeing what was out there, what caught my eye. From there I decided on easing my way into the workforce by working only part time. Finding what worked for me and still allowed me to be involved with my boys’ lives, because that was still a huge factor for me. I knew that this was a major change not only for me but for my boys, as well.

What was the best part about going back?

Meeting new people outside of my boys’ lives.

What is a typical day like for you now?

I get up around 5/5:30 a.m. to shower, get ready for work, and listen to the news as I prep breakfast for my boys. It’s what I’ve always done and want to continue doing. I sometimes prep dinner in the morning depending on what our evening looks like.

I wake my younger two up around 7 and that’s a job in itself! My older two are great about getting up and ready on their own. I’m at work by 8:30 and right away I check emails and see what is on the calendar for the day, whether it’s programs at our office or I’m needing to attend a meeting, event or program outside of the office. This is a major part of my job, meeting new people and informing them about CX.

Around 3:30 I call home to chat with all four of my boys to see how their day went, if they need any help with homework and assign them their daily chores. My older two sons are a huge help in taking turns to pick up their brothers from school. {If they can’t then I will take my lunch around the time they get out and pick them up from school and either bring them back to work with me until I get off or drop them off at home with my dad or one of their brothers.}

We make it a point to sit and have dinner together as a family no matter what! It can be over take out, dinner on the go or us sitting at the dining room table. It’s the important part of our day that allows us to catch up on each other’s lives and know what is going on. We live busier lives now that I work and they are involved in so much.

Most nights one of my sons has either soccer practice, soccer game or an activity that we need to attend. If help is needed with homework we fit that in as well. Showers are usually on a nightly basis with four boys! This process begins around 8:30 and works its way to bedtime which is somewhere between 9:30 and 10 for my younger two. My older ones have a rule they follow, they can stay up as late as they want as long as they get up and are at school on time.

Once my younger two are in bed, I tend to the house whether it’s sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, starting the dishwasher or finishing the load of laundry I may have started that morning, ironing and anything else that may come up from living in a house with four boys and a dog.

And usually by 11 or midnight I’m ready for bed and start all over again the next day.

You have four sons. What’s the best part of being a boy mom?

There are so many good parts I could go on and on. My boys are all mama’s boys! I’m a tad bit overly obsessed with them. They are easy going, fun, happy, energetic, and loving and there is never a dull, boring moment in our home! Each one is different in their own unique way and I love it, I love being a mom to boys. I don’t have daughters so I don’t know what I’m missing out on, but I do have nieces and I can honestly say I don’t regret not having a daughter. {I have two boys that love shopping and shoes as much as I do so that fills that void!} Even at their ages they will still hug, kiss me good night and cuddle with me without feeling embarrassed.

Speaking of shoes, what is one product you couldn’t live without?

This is probably very silly but I have really thick hair and it is a pain to wash, blow dry and fix on a daily basis. I have had to find ways to ease the time. I even chopped off my long hair {total regret}! I’m a huge fan of Tresemme dry shampoo! If I don’t wake up at 5 a.m. I won’t get a shower in and that time in the shower is my time to re-energize and trust me I’d rather take a long hot shower than to spend that time on blow drying my hair. So I will go days without washing my hair thanks to dry shampoo!

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Being a working mom doesn’t make you any less of a mom. I have always commended working moms, especially when I was a stay at home mom. I was blessed to have that opportunity and I do miss it, but I also enjoy working too.

I have realized that I’m not super woman and finally coming to terms with it. I have missed field trips, school programs, class parties, being able to care for my sons when they are sick, not able to spend days off of school with them and I felt so guilty because I attended everything and was with them all the time in the past. My boys know that I am working and that it’s to better our lives. They have seen me as a stay at home mom and a working mom. I value the time with my boys so much more now because I’m not as accessible as I was before and thankfully my job is understanding of my family and putting them first.

As moms we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves or other moms. Support each other, it’s not easy. It may look like we have it all together, but trust me we don’t. We are doing the best we can!

[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]It may look like we have it all together. But trust me, we don’t. #workingmom[/tweetthis]

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I felt I did at one time, but it was time to expand my “having it all” to something bigger. I feel like I’ll have it all once I know that my boys are happy, healthy, and successful and doing what they love. For me, then I know that I have done my job and I can then focus much more on myself and changing my definition of “having it all.”

What a strong, brave, hardworking woman! I learned so much from Katie about how us moms are constantly reinventing ourselves. {She also confirmed that a mom’s job is never really done!}

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 16, 2016April 18, 2016

“Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn”

Q&A with Rachel Sexton

This week’s Working Mom Wednesday interviewee is no stranger to the spotlight. Rachel Sexton’s professional and philanthropic accomplishments have caught the attention of local magazines and news stations over the years.

According to her company profile, she’s been honored as one of KC Business magazine’s “Most Influential Women”; named a “Forty under 40” by Ingram’s Magazine; recognized as a “Rising Star” by KC Business magazine {where she rocked the cover photo}; selected as a “Next Gen Leader” and member of the 2013 class of “Women Who Mean Business” by the Kansas City Business Journal; chosen as one of KC Magazine’s Top 100 People of Kansas City; and recognized as a PharmaVoice 100 in 2014.

While proud of her {many} accolades and the hard work that got her there, Rachel is more concerned with serving others than talking about her own awards. As inspiring as she is to many, Rachel can usually be found telling stories about the patients, friends and colleagues that inspire her. Above all, her biggest honor so far has been the role of mom.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I run VPR POP, a company that creates patient-to-patient programs so people who live well with progressive or rare diseases can share health education and messages of hope with others who may be struggling with the same condition.

You’ve worked there quite some time. How’d you get started and what’s kept you there?

I started as a writer/producer fresh out of Journalism School at MU. I’ve stayed nearly 18 years because it’s so incredibly rewarding to work with people who have been handed a scary diagnosis but have chosen to live an empowered, purposeful life. It really puts it all in perspective.

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

Move over, Kelly Ripa! I realized during J-School that I did not have the passion or hairstyling skills to work my way up the reporting ladder, but I could totally handle a glam squad, doting audience who would appreciate semi-boring stories about my kids and a parade of celebrity guests.

What is a typical day like for you?

Wake up around 7 with a baby in my arms {I’m a co-sleeping hippie}; thank God for a husband who is a morning person and gets the oldest 3 ready for school before I open my eyes {and brings me Starbucks on the weekends}; go to the office; take someone to basketball/soccer/tennis/ballet/drawing class/STEAM camp; go to a Junior League meeting or out for a run…then do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight {or just watch some Bravo and go to bed}.

Tell me about a professional set back.

When I started at VPR, we were heavily focused on the advertising/marketing side of health care. When the economy recessed, there just weren’t as many dollars to go into those promotional tactics. Many companies that did what we did fell apart, but we forged a new path and branched into patient-to-patient outreach.

How’d that work out?

It’s the classic lemons to lemonade principal. We looked at what was truly important to the health care industry in this changing time – the patient – and how we could use our core strengths in communication and creativity, plus 30 years of knowledge, to develop something that would help educate and empower patients. The result was something better than we ever imagined.

Your resume includes VP {VPR}, President {Junior League} and even marathoner, not to mention mom! How do you juggle it all?

I’m glad you brought up the marathon. It was a HALF marathon and I only did one. I did well for a first race {1:47}, but it wasn’t worth it. Training for it was such a regimented approach to running vs. my usual practice of just getting out there after work and blowing off some steam that it actually took me a few months to enjoy running again after it was over. Which answers the question about juggling – I just DON’T do what I don’t enjoy. I don’t love to read, I don’t love to go to the movies, I don’t love to cook dinner. So I don’t. I love my job, I love volunteering and I love decorating birthday cakes. So I do. It gets a lot easier to juggle when you are salivating over everything on that full plate and not trying to pick your way around the icky stuff.

[tweetthis]I don’t do what I don’t enjoy #priorities[/tweetthis]

So do you ever find time to relax?

I hate relaxing, but I do love recharging. Nothing motivates me more than hanging with smart, witty women who lift each other up. I am so lucky to know so many who inspire me with their accomplishments between the KC Business Journal’s Women Who Mean Business, the Junior League of Kansas City, Missouri and my incredible girlfriends.

How has your professional life changed since having kids?

Over the past 10 years, I’ve learned to work smarter but not longer. I used to liberally apply this sentiment to tactical execution: “it will take me longer to teach someone how to do it than to do it myself”. It was really an excuse for me to be a control freak and poor delegator. Once I had kids and had no choice but to share the load, I realized that I was far from the only one who could execute up to my standards and that I was much more valuable to my company when I wasn’t bogged down in the weeds and could focus more on strategic operations. It was a win-win that I might have never realized had I not become a mommy.

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

My amazing mama who watches the kids at my house 4 days a week, my mother-in-law who watches them at her home the other day, and my husband who does more than his share of everything and doesn’t make me feel selfish for not pulling my weight.

Has there been a mom-moment you’ve missed that you regretted due to work?

Not one specific moment that keeps me up at night, but I know I have short changed a lot of experiences: from being back on email hours after giving birth to working on reports during family dinners to taking conference calls from Animal Kingdom, I’m definitely not always 100% present when I’m with my family. While my family is unquestionably my top priority, after putting 18 years into my career, it’s also one of my babies.

rachel sexton career mom kansas city — Rachel with her husband, Brian King and their four children: Will (10), Grayson (8), Kitty (4) and Bibi (4 months)

What do you hope your children take away from you working?

I hope when they look back, my career is just a side note – “oh yeah, and she did some great stuff at her office too.” I hope I instill my sense of humor, healthy habits and volunteer spirit in them more than my commitment to work. I’m the product of a stay-at-home mom and a workaholic dad. They were both incredible at what they did, and equally inspiring to me. As long as my kids are contributing to society, feeling fulfilled and not asking me for money, I don’t care if they raise a family, run a company or both.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Surround yourself with women who validate and inspire you. There’s no room for a vampire who wants to suck the positive energy out of you or the Debbie Downer who wants you to wallow in mommy guilt with her. Whether it’s a volunteer organization, a mom’s group or a professional organization, there are lots of strong, positive women out there and they’re one of the best resources we have.

Also, PLEASE don’t be afraid to toot your own horn. We can’t afford to be humble or modest. Not only are you’re sharing a message that working moms can be successful, you never know when your accomplishments will inspire someone to take that leap outside of her comfort zone.

[tweetthis]Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn #proud #workingmom[/tweetthis]

Tell me about a goal that you’re working on right now.

I’m at an interesting point in my life: after 3 pretty intense years of Junior League leadership that have taken up a lot of my free time, I will become a Sustaining member of our 1,400 member organization this spring. The organization has invested so much into making me a leader and I feel a great hunger and a sense of responsibility to use those skills to benefit the community… but I’m not sure in what capacity. I’m open to ideas!

I’m on a quest to having it all. What does having it all mean to you?

I love your attitude. Too often I read articles about how it’s not possible to have it all or how the pursuit of it can ruin your life. NOT TRUE! For me, having it all means having a career I love, children and a husband who know I love them, giving back to the community and making “me time” to run and recharge with friends. If there was something else I wanted to pursue, I wouldn’t let my full plate scare me from doing it.

You’re right that we don’t have it all at once. “Can women have it all?” is a trick question. It’s like saying, “Can you have Mexican, Chinese, pizza and sushi?” Sure you can, just not all in the same night. Now, I’ve been to some sketchy Las Vegas buffets where you can make that vision a reality, but when you’re cramming it all into one meal, none of it is that enjoyable. With some realistic expectations, thoughtful planning and a solid support system, having “it all” is not only possible, but actually pretty delicious.

I want to sincerely thank Rachel for participating in this week’s interview. Not only did she make me totally hungry {Mexican food anyone?}, but I learned a lot about leadership and prioritizing.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.