3 reasons why you should always respond

I’m a firm believer that you should go after what you want, because the worst anyone can tell you is no. But what happens when that person you’re reaching out to isn’t saying no, they aren’t getting back to you at all?

It can be frustrating if you’re on the receiving end of the phone that doesn’t ring or the email that never gets answered. Maybe you’re even guilty of being the one failing to respond from time to time.

I’ve written about why I think it’s important to care about what other people think before, but I think it’s even more relevant in the workplace, especially if you own a business. By failing to respond, you may be doing some permanent damage to your reputation.

[tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]By failing to respond, you may be doing some permanent damage to your reputation. #letmegetbacktoyou[/tweetthis]

How do you resist the urge to ignore? It can be tough. For one thing, sales calls can be extremely irritating. If you’re like me, you may not pick up when an unknown number calls. For two months straight I received a call at the exact same time every day on my cell phone. I complained about it to anyone that would listen. Why wouldn’t they take a hint? When would they stop calling? The nerve!

Then one day I answered. It was a very nice salesperson. Person. There was actually someone being paid to harass me everyday at the exact same time. I kindly told him that I wasn’t interested and could he please remove my phone number from the list. I never received another call. The worst he heard was no.

We live and work in a highly distracting world full of social media networks and open office floor plans. Achieving efficiency is hard enough, and now you’re supposed to carve out a part of your day just to get back to people? Yup.

While not every group email requires a reply all, it’s important to consider whether any damage could be done {to you or the initiator} by not getting back to the people who reach out to you.

Here’s three reasons why I think you should always respond when people contact you.

Responding makes you reliable

I used to work with someone who was notorious for not responding to emails. I’m not sure if he never read them or actively chose not to reply. Either way, he quickly earned a reputation for not being a very reliable employee. People began questioning his ability to do his job and stopped soliciting his contributions to projects.

On the flip side, Facebook actually rewards businesses with a badge when they have an impressive response rate. Who wouldn’t want to work with a business that’s been endorsed for their dedication to customer service?

Responding builds relationships

We all know the saying, “treat others how you want to be treated.” I’m not sure why, but most people don’t seem to be applying the golden rule when a phone or computer come into the picture. Do you like being ignored? Me neither!

The truth is, communication builds relationships, and these days a large majority of our communicating isn’t taking place face to face. Get comfortable on the phone, learn email etiquette, and understand what is {and isn’t} appropriate to put on the internet. Then take the time to respond and engage and watch your relationships flourish.

Responding creates opportunities

There is a lot of junk mail out there, so I understand the temptation to send to spam. About a year ago I received a pretty generic sales pitch on LinkedIn about bringing a women’s organization to Kansas City. Other than my name, nothing about the message was customized. And it was sent from a complete stranger from halfway across the country. I almost deleted it. I think about my decision to respond all the time. The messages turned into phone calls which grew into an amazing community for local professional women and business owners and has contributed to my personal and professional growth one hundred times over. Imagine the opportunities missed by not getting back to someone!

I’m not saying you need to chime in at the end of an unnecessarily long email chain that lost it’s productivity nine emails ago. In fact, please don’t. But before you decide to leave someone hanging, I do encourage you to ask yourself if turning a blind eye could come back to bite you.

Do you ever think it’s appropriate not to get back to someone? Tell me in the comments.

April 13, 2016April 25, 2016

“There was no guarantee that I would be successful, but I still took the risk”

Q&A with Dede Palmer

When I first met Dede Palmer, I immediately found myself admiring her confidence. Something about her truly says, “I’ve got this.” After learning more about her background as an accountant and complete 180 degree turn into the bridal industry, it became clear that any sense of accomplishment that Dede portrays is because she’s earned it.

Dede is smart and savvy, sure, but it’s her drive to be great at whatever it is that she decides to take on that is truly inspiring.

But being a numbers gal with a keen eye for ivory gowns is just one piece of what makes this working mom a success. She takes care of her family the same way she operates her business – by giving them 110%.

Self-promo time. Tell me about your business.

I own Altar Bridal, a boutique that specializes in selling designer wedding gowns and wedding day accessories. The store opened June 1, 2010 in Kansas City, MO, just south of the Plaza. I made the decision to move the store to Leawood, KS July 2014. We opened with and continue to focus on carrying a collection of gowns by designers that are up and coming, have a unique flair about them, are made with high quality in mind, and that are not carried by other boutiques in the Greater Kansas City area. We also LOVE to support local Kansas City designers. We currently have 2 local gown designers that we work with as well as numerous local accessory designers.

If making brides look good wasn’t your job, what would you doing?

I love teaching and helping others problem solve. So, I could go for teaching classes at the college level or small business consulting.

What is the best part of being a business owner?

Freedom {for the most part}. And not just freedom from the day to day grind of the office job I used to have, but freedom to choose how I run my business. Freedom to decide what my day is going to look like…or at least how I think it will look. You never know what the next phone call or email will bring you in the bridal business.

Tell me about a time you failed or really messed up.

Oh boy. Failure is like a demon to me. I’ve never really wanted to do or try anything that I might fail at until I started this business. And even then the early mantra was “Failure is not an option.” Since then, I’ve been trying to be ok with the possibility of failing. And so while I don’t really have any massive failure to report, there have been lots of mistakes along the way. I’d say the biggest one was over-hiring early on for the store. I thought I needed numerous employees – but really that was just a cash suck. I’ve loved everyone that has worked at the store at one time or another, but if I could go back in time, I know I would do things a bit differently when it comes to hiring and managing my payroll expenses.

How did you overcome it?

I now run the store pretty lean. But try to recognize when we do need the extra hands on deck. I’m also better about managing hours being worked and only hiring and having staff work when I need them.

What is a typical day like for you?

Hmmm, doesn’t exist. But I think that is one of the perks of owning your own business. Now that I have a staff at the store that I can fully trust and rely on, I don’t have to be at the store every day. Which is life changing. If I want to go to the gym, get laundry done, work on some store marketing, take my daughter to violin, balance the store checkbook, get dinner started, promo a trunk show on social media…I can. All in one day.

They say it takes a village. Who takes your daughter to violin if you can’t swing it?

This is where my family is so blessed beyond measure it’s hard to even explain. About 6 years ago we became friends with two other families that had kiddos about the same age as ours. Over the last 6 years all of us have truly become friends that are family. We eat dinner together 1-2 times a week on average. Our kids are more like siblings. And whenever someone needs backup, it’s a no-brainer, they will be there. It’s awesome. I can’t imagine getting through life without them.

Have you had to miss a moment in your child’s life that you regret?

Of course I’ve missed some moments here and there but nothing that I deeply regret. But if I didn’t have the freedom that I do because of owning my own business, and was back in the cubicle crunching numbers…I fear I might have a different answer.

What is your favorite part about being a mom?

Just knowing what it’s like to love a human being like you love no one else in the world. I know that sounds cheesy, but when I truly stop the world around me and intentionally look at my kiddos, it takes my breath away. In those moments, it’s when I feel the overwhelming feelings of love and responsibility for these two human beings.

If your kids take away one thing from you running a business, what do you think that would be?

I hope that they realize that there was no guarantee that I would be successful {still isn’t}, but that I still took the risk, put myself out there, and did the hard work. I don’t want them to ever second guess their ability to follow their passions or fear failure without even trying.

[tweetthis remove_twitter_handles=”true” remove_hidden_hashtags=”true” remove_hidden_urls=”true”]I don’t want them to ever second guess their ability to follow their passions or fear failure without even trying.[/tweetthis]

What keeps you sane?

Time off. Like off the grid, time-off.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Don’t worry about the other moms. Do what works for you and what makes you feel like being a good mom to your kiddos.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Yes. I have a loving family, amazing friends, food in my belly and roof over my head. What else do ya really need? Well, besides a few cute outfits to make you feel fashionable on a gloomy day.

If you know someone getting ready to tie the knot, I can think of no one better to outfit the bride to be in the gown of her dreams than Dede and her staff at Altar Bridal.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 30, 2016April 18, 2016

“Do what makes you happy”

You know when you’ve followed someone’s career for so long you feel like you know them? {Kind of like my lifelong obsession with the Olsen twins and subsequent delusion that we’re friends?}

Well, that’s how I feel about Melanie Knopke. Her familiar face can be found describing the newest style trends on local news stations or sharing her latest fashion finds in magazines.

Not only does she know her stuff when it comes to her way around your closet, but she’s also a savvy working mom who has taken her passion for fashion and her experience in the industry to create a work from home business that works for her busy family.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I am a wardrobe stylist, freelance writer, on-air personality, blogger and photography enthusiast.

Which came first, the fashion or the blog?

The fashion! Since I was young, I knew I would make a career in fashion. I have worked in the fashion industry for almost 20 years. I moved from sales into management at Nordstrom in Chicago then on to buying for Mark Shale and after kids I started my own styling business. I started the blog 7 years ago after I had my first child and quit working to be at home with him. I was missing my creative outlet, so I started Scout-A Mom’s Guide to Stylish Living to fill that void in my life.

What’s your must-have fashion item right now?

A great handbag! I am a big believer in the high-low way of dressing; mixing budget items with investment pieces. I always invest in good bags, because clothing trends may come and go, or your size may fluctuate but a great bag never goes out of style!

If styling wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

This is a hard question because there are so many things I am passionate about and would love to do. But, I always dreamed of designing swimwear. Especially approaching 40, it’s hard to find great fitting/age appropriate swimsuits!

Tell me about a professional roadblock you’ve had.

When I moved to Kansas City from Chicago I applied for a buying job and didn’t get it. I was devastated; especially coming from a big city with unparalleled buying experience. But, it just wasn’t meant to be, and I feel like everything happens for a reason. Not getting that job pushed me to start writing my blog, starting my personal styling business, and doing on-air promotional work for big brands in Kansas City like the Legends Outlets and Park Place.

How has your professional life changed since having kids?

My job is unique because I am a work from home/stay at home mom. So, now instead of working a full day like I did before kids, I now have to schedule my work around my kids {and my husbands job}. When my daughter is in preschool 3 days I week I cram all my work into those days. Or, I will work with clients on the weekends when my husband is home. Somedays I wish I just had a pre-set schedule, 9-5, but for now this is what works for us! I am going to try to take advantage of this small window of being home with them before they are both in school full time.

What is a typical day like for your family?

I wish I had a typical day! I wear a variety of hats, so every day is different. Because my husband runs a fitness studio he is gone in the mornings, so I am hustling to get everyone out the door. I then will go workout right after I drop my daughter off, then it’s a race to fit in work between 10 and my daughters pickup time which is 2:30. Somedays I am pulling for a styling job, or I am helping a client clean out their closet, or I may be photographing looks for my blog. It’s rare that I have just a day for nails and lunch with friends, but I do like to squeeze that in when I can! After school I juggle car pool to and from practices, getting homework done and cooking for my family. Kids go to bed early, and typically my husband and I enjoy dinner together when he gets back from Health House after teaching class or training clients.

So your hubby is also an entrepreneur – what’s that like?

It has its pros and cons for sure! Pros being that we are always bouncing ideas off one another, and we both understand the hustle it takes to get your own business off of the ground. We are very supportive of one another, and we juggle both of our schedules to be able to do what we love and raise a family at the same time. The cons would be the stress of running your own business…we have risked a lot to follow our dreams, but it is totally worth it! There is nothing more rewarding than being your own boss and watching your business succeed.

They say it takes a village. Who else helps you with your kiddos?

When my husband isn’t working he is a huge help! He often will pick the kids up from school if I have a client, or in the morning he will take them to school if I have a news segment. Since my kids were young we have had a large pool of babysitters to call. I always have 3-4 girls on speed dial. I couldn’t live without my great crew of sitters!

What do you hope your children take away from you working?

I hope that they are proud of their mom. I want them to be able to go back and read my blog, or watch old news segments and say “my mom had a really cool job.” I hope that they will be inspired to follow their dreams; whatever they may be.

What is one product or service you love so much that you could be an ambassador for it?

Ok, I am picking two…when it comes to fashion the ladies that look the most together have their basics irrefutably right. If you shop at J.Crew, you can’t go wrong. They are classic, affordable, and you will always look like you aren’t trying too hard. Second, Lasers! I don’t believe that face products will turn back the hands of time, but lasers are proven! The Halo or BBL laser is one of the best things you can do for your skin.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Do what makes you happy! If you aren’t happy that will trickle down into every aspect of your life. Especially how you treat your husband and your children. Figure out what works the best for you first and then everything will fall into place. Happy Wife {Mom} Happy Life!

[tweetthis]Do what makes you happy! Happy Wife {Mom} Happy Life! [/tweetthis]

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I have a wonderful and supportive husband, two healthy and hilarious kids, a job that allows me to do what I love and still raise my kids…I feel very lucky! Would I like to be making more money and working more consistently? Yes…of course. But for now what I am what doing fulfills me and keeps me well rounded. So, I am going to be thankful and just keep hustling and hope that my business will continue to grow and that my job will continue to evolve as it has over the past 10 years.

Keep your closet cool with Melanie’s wardrobe styling services or check her blog for some fashion inspiration!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 23, 2016April 18, 2016

“We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves or other moms”

Q & A with Katie Galicia

I am so excited that Katie agreed to do today’s Working Mom Wednesday interview.

Our paths crossed after I reached out via email about a collaboration with Femfessionals and was invited to a meeting to discuss the possible partnership further.

I was a tad disheveled and didn’t want to be late after forgetting the rules of downtown parking {a massive SUV without a single quarter in it for the meter! I finally gave up a valet parked at the hotel across the street. #suburbanmom}. Katie made me feel welcomed and at ease. She is an amazing listener and incredibly kind, both of which make her great at her job and a great mom!

When I learned that she had four boys and was new-ish to the workforce, I had a million questions running through my mind. Luckily, she let me ask a handful of them and shared her answers with you all.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I started working full time last May as the Membership Coordinator at Central Exchange; it is a non-profit organization that provides a venue and voice for women seeking to reach their full personal and professional potential. I provide support to the Chief Membership Officer along with managing and maintaining over 1,100 memberships. I am usually the first person that a new member hears from and I work closely with them to ensure they are utilizing their membership to the fullest.

Along with membership I oversee Emerging Leaders; it is a yearlong female focused leadership development program; it gives me the opportunity to meet and learn from high profile female executives.

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing ?

I’ve secretly always wanted to be a police officer. The thrill, the rush, helping people in our community and making it a safer environment not only for my boys, but the community. Yet, I’m also scared of what comes with putting your life on the line. I’ve never shot a gun, let alone held a gun!

What is it like working with a bunch of women?

It’s not what most would think or imagine; I wasn’t even sure what to think when I started. I am a mom of four boys with two brothers, so I am not use to being around women. I love it though. I’ve always wanted sisters and this is as close as I will get! I work with an amazing group of women. We are here to support, help and build up each other in so many ways! I have built what I see will be long term friendships with these women and can’t imagine not being around them.

You took a hiatus from the workforce to raise your children. Why did you decide to go back?

My youngest was 9 years old {oldest 16} and I started to notice I wasn’t needed as much as before, whether it was at school or at home. I guess you could say I raised them too good! They were very independent, which was hard for me to face.

I found things to do {don’t get me wrong, because with four boys there is always something that needs to be done}; however, I was starting to feel that I was missing out on something and needed to do more for myself. I had given so much of my life and time to my boys and the household that I knew my time to venture out was near.

[tweetthis]I was starting to feel that I was missing out on something and needed to do more for myself.[/tweetthis]

What was the biggest challenge when starting the job search again?

My biggest challenge was where to begin? What had I missed out on and what I was lacking compared to others that had been in the workforce the entire time I was away. I needed to find out what I liked to do, wanted to do and what were my skills. Realizing all of this and what I was up against definitely busted my confidence bubble! And it was scary.

How did you tackle it?

I started looking at job posts, doing some research and seeing what was out there, what caught my eye. From there I decided on easing my way into the workforce by working only part time. Finding what worked for me and still allowed me to be involved with my boys’ lives, because that was still a huge factor for me. I knew that this was a major change not only for me but for my boys, as well.

What was the best part about going back?

Meeting new people outside of my boys’ lives.

What is a typical day like for you now?

I get up around 5/5:30 a.m. to shower, get ready for work, and listen to the news as I prep breakfast for my boys. It’s what I’ve always done and want to continue doing. I sometimes prep dinner in the morning depending on what our evening looks like.

I wake my younger two up around 7 and that’s a job in itself! My older two are great about getting up and ready on their own. I’m at work by 8:30 and right away I check emails and see what is on the calendar for the day, whether it’s programs at our office or I’m needing to attend a meeting, event or program outside of the office. This is a major part of my job, meeting new people and informing them about CX.

Around 3:30 I call home to chat with all four of my boys to see how their day went, if they need any help with homework and assign them their daily chores. My older two sons are a huge help in taking turns to pick up their brothers from school. {If they can’t then I will take my lunch around the time they get out and pick them up from school and either bring them back to work with me until I get off or drop them off at home with my dad or one of their brothers.}

We make it a point to sit and have dinner together as a family no matter what! It can be over take out, dinner on the go or us sitting at the dining room table. It’s the important part of our day that allows us to catch up on each other’s lives and know what is going on. We live busier lives now that I work and they are involved in so much.

Most nights one of my sons has either soccer practice, soccer game or an activity that we need to attend. If help is needed with homework we fit that in as well. Showers are usually on a nightly basis with four boys! This process begins around 8:30 and works its way to bedtime which is somewhere between 9:30 and 10 for my younger two. My older ones have a rule they follow, they can stay up as late as they want as long as they get up and are at school on time.

Once my younger two are in bed, I tend to the house whether it’s sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, starting the dishwasher or finishing the load of laundry I may have started that morning, ironing and anything else that may come up from living in a house with four boys and a dog.

And usually by 11 or midnight I’m ready for bed and start all over again the next day.

You have four sons. What’s the best part of being a boy mom?

There are so many good parts I could go on and on. My boys are all mama’s boys! I’m a tad bit overly obsessed with them. They are easy going, fun, happy, energetic, and loving and there is never a dull, boring moment in our home! Each one is different in their own unique way and I love it, I love being a mom to boys. I don’t have daughters so I don’t know what I’m missing out on, but I do have nieces and I can honestly say I don’t regret not having a daughter. {I have two boys that love shopping and shoes as much as I do so that fills that void!} Even at their ages they will still hug, kiss me good night and cuddle with me without feeling embarrassed.

Speaking of shoes, what is one product you couldn’t live without?

This is probably very silly but I have really thick hair and it is a pain to wash, blow dry and fix on a daily basis. I have had to find ways to ease the time. I even chopped off my long hair {total regret}! I’m a huge fan of Tresemme dry shampoo! If I don’t wake up at 5 a.m. I won’t get a shower in and that time in the shower is my time to re-energize and trust me I’d rather take a long hot shower than to spend that time on blow drying my hair. So I will go days without washing my hair thanks to dry shampoo!

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Being a working mom doesn’t make you any less of a mom. I have always commended working moms, especially when I was a stay at home mom. I was blessed to have that opportunity and I do miss it, but I also enjoy working too.

I have realized that I’m not super woman and finally coming to terms with it. I have missed field trips, school programs, class parties, being able to care for my sons when they are sick, not able to spend days off of school with them and I felt so guilty because I attended everything and was with them all the time in the past. My boys know that I am working and that it’s to better our lives. They have seen me as a stay at home mom and a working mom. I value the time with my boys so much more now because I’m not as accessible as I was before and thankfully my job is understanding of my family and putting them first.

As moms we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves or other moms. Support each other, it’s not easy. It may look like we have it all together, but trust me we don’t. We are doing the best we can!

[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]It may look like we have it all together. But trust me, we don’t. #workingmom[/tweetthis]

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

I felt I did at one time, but it was time to expand my “having it all” to something bigger. I feel like I’ll have it all once I know that my boys are happy, healthy, and successful and doing what they love. For me, then I know that I have done my job and I can then focus much more on myself and changing my definition of “having it all.”

What a strong, brave, hardworking woman! I learned so much from Katie about how us moms are constantly reinventing ourselves. {She also confirmed that a mom’s job is never really done!}

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 16, 2016April 18, 2016

“Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn”

Q&A with Rachel Sexton

This week’s Working Mom Wednesday interviewee is no stranger to the spotlight. Rachel Sexton’s professional and philanthropic accomplishments have caught the attention of local magazines and news stations over the years.

According to her company profile, she’s been honored as one of KC Business magazine’s “Most Influential Women”; named a “Forty under 40” by Ingram’s Magazine; recognized as a “Rising Star” by KC Business magazine {where she rocked the cover photo}; selected as a “Next Gen Leader” and member of the 2013 class of “Women Who Mean Business” by the Kansas City Business Journal; chosen as one of KC Magazine’s Top 100 People of Kansas City; and recognized as a PharmaVoice 100 in 2014.

While proud of her {many} accolades and the hard work that got her there, Rachel is more concerned with serving others than talking about her own awards. As inspiring as she is to many, Rachel can usually be found telling stories about the patients, friends and colleagues that inspire her. Above all, her biggest honor so far has been the role of mom.

Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

I run VPR POP, a company that creates patient-to-patient programs so people who live well with progressive or rare diseases can share health education and messages of hope with others who may be struggling with the same condition.

You’ve worked there quite some time. How’d you get started and what’s kept you there?

I started as a writer/producer fresh out of Journalism School at MU. I’ve stayed nearly 18 years because it’s so incredibly rewarding to work with people who have been handed a scary diagnosis but have chosen to live an empowered, purposeful life. It really puts it all in perspective.

If that wasn’t your gig, what do you think you’d be doing?

Move over, Kelly Ripa! I realized during J-School that I did not have the passion or hairstyling skills to work my way up the reporting ladder, but I could totally handle a glam squad, doting audience who would appreciate semi-boring stories about my kids and a parade of celebrity guests.

What is a typical day like for you?

Wake up around 7 with a baby in my arms {I’m a co-sleeping hippie}; thank God for a husband who is a morning person and gets the oldest 3 ready for school before I open my eyes {and brings me Starbucks on the weekends}; go to the office; take someone to basketball/soccer/tennis/ballet/drawing class/STEAM camp; go to a Junior League meeting or out for a run…then do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight {or just watch some Bravo and go to bed}.

Tell me about a professional set back.

When I started at VPR, we were heavily focused on the advertising/marketing side of health care. When the economy recessed, there just weren’t as many dollars to go into those promotional tactics. Many companies that did what we did fell apart, but we forged a new path and branched into patient-to-patient outreach.

How’d that work out?

It’s the classic lemons to lemonade principal. We looked at what was truly important to the health care industry in this changing time – the patient – and how we could use our core strengths in communication and creativity, plus 30 years of knowledge, to develop something that would help educate and empower patients. The result was something better than we ever imagined.

Your resume includes VP {VPR}, President {Junior League} and even marathoner, not to mention mom! How do you juggle it all?

I’m glad you brought up the marathon. It was a HALF marathon and I only did one. I did well for a first race {1:47}, but it wasn’t worth it. Training for it was such a regimented approach to running vs. my usual practice of just getting out there after work and blowing off some steam that it actually took me a few months to enjoy running again after it was over. Which answers the question about juggling – I just DON’T do what I don’t enjoy. I don’t love to read, I don’t love to go to the movies, I don’t love to cook dinner. So I don’t. I love my job, I love volunteering and I love decorating birthday cakes. So I do. It gets a lot easier to juggle when you are salivating over everything on that full plate and not trying to pick your way around the icky stuff.

[tweetthis]I don’t do what I don’t enjoy #priorities[/tweetthis]

So do you ever find time to relax?

I hate relaxing, but I do love recharging. Nothing motivates me more than hanging with smart, witty women who lift each other up. I am so lucky to know so many who inspire me with their accomplishments between the KC Business Journal’s Women Who Mean Business, the Junior League of Kansas City, Missouri and my incredible girlfriends.

How has your professional life changed since having kids?

Over the past 10 years, I’ve learned to work smarter but not longer. I used to liberally apply this sentiment to tactical execution: “it will take me longer to teach someone how to do it than to do it myself”. It was really an excuse for me to be a control freak and poor delegator. Once I had kids and had no choice but to share the load, I realized that I was far from the only one who could execute up to my standards and that I was much more valuable to my company when I wasn’t bogged down in the weeds and could focus more on strategic operations. It was a win-win that I might have never realized had I not become a mommy.

They say it takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

My amazing mama who watches the kids at my house 4 days a week, my mother-in-law who watches them at her home the other day, and my husband who does more than his share of everything and doesn’t make me feel selfish for not pulling my weight.

Has there been a mom-moment you’ve missed that you regretted due to work?

Not one specific moment that keeps me up at night, but I know I have short changed a lot of experiences: from being back on email hours after giving birth to working on reports during family dinners to taking conference calls from Animal Kingdom, I’m definitely not always 100% present when I’m with my family. While my family is unquestionably my top priority, after putting 18 years into my career, it’s also one of my babies.

rachel sexton career mom kansas city — Rachel with her husband, Brian King and their four children: Will (10), Grayson (8), Kitty (4) and Bibi (4 months)

What do you hope your children take away from you working?

I hope when they look back, my career is just a side note – “oh yeah, and she did some great stuff at her office too.” I hope I instill my sense of humor, healthy habits and volunteer spirit in them more than my commitment to work. I’m the product of a stay-at-home mom and a workaholic dad. They were both incredible at what they did, and equally inspiring to me. As long as my kids are contributing to society, feeling fulfilled and not asking me for money, I don’t care if they raise a family, run a company or both.

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Surround yourself with women who validate and inspire you. There’s no room for a vampire who wants to suck the positive energy out of you or the Debbie Downer who wants you to wallow in mommy guilt with her. Whether it’s a volunteer organization, a mom’s group or a professional organization, there are lots of strong, positive women out there and they’re one of the best resources we have.

Also, PLEASE don’t be afraid to toot your own horn. We can’t afford to be humble or modest. Not only are you’re sharing a message that working moms can be successful, you never know when your accomplishments will inspire someone to take that leap outside of her comfort zone.

[tweetthis]Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn #proud #workingmom[/tweetthis]

Tell me about a goal that you’re working on right now.

I’m at an interesting point in my life: after 3 pretty intense years of Junior League leadership that have taken up a lot of my free time, I will become a Sustaining member of our 1,400 member organization this spring. The organization has invested so much into making me a leader and I feel a great hunger and a sense of responsibility to use those skills to benefit the community… but I’m not sure in what capacity. I’m open to ideas!

I’m on a quest to having it all. What does having it all mean to you?

I love your attitude. Too often I read articles about how it’s not possible to have it all or how the pursuit of it can ruin your life. NOT TRUE! For me, having it all means having a career I love, children and a husband who know I love them, giving back to the community and making “me time” to run and recharge with friends. If there was something else I wanted to pursue, I wouldn’t let my full plate scare me from doing it.

You’re right that we don’t have it all at once. “Can women have it all?” is a trick question. It’s like saying, “Can you have Mexican, Chinese, pizza and sushi?” Sure you can, just not all in the same night. Now, I’ve been to some sketchy Las Vegas buffets where you can make that vision a reality, but when you’re cramming it all into one meal, none of it is that enjoyable. With some realistic expectations, thoughtful planning and a solid support system, having “it all” is not only possible, but actually pretty delicious.

I want to sincerely thank Rachel for participating in this week’s interview. Not only did she make me totally hungry {Mexican food anyone?}, but I learned a lot about leadership and prioritizing.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

March 2, 2016April 18, 2016

“It’s okay to do things for yourself”

Q&A with Michelle Henderson

I’ve only met Michelle Henderson in person once. She came to the February Femfessionals event after learning about our community from another member’s post on Instagram.

Besides being gorgeous {jealous} and fit {double jealous}, she’s clearly a go-getter. One of the first things I learned about Michelle is that she simultaneously began a new career and welcomed her first baby in the last few months.

I was both awe-struck at her ambition and curious about how she was doing three months in to her new endeavors. Meet new mom turned Realtor in this Week’s Working Mom Wednesday.

Welcome to The Free Mama’s Working Mom Wednesday, Michelle! Tell everyone what you do.

I am a real estate agent with Keyzio – a local startup brokerage. It is such a cool company and they are doing really exciting things in real estate from new technology to challenging the conventional pricing structure {cheaper!} all while offering premium service.

You mentioned this gig was new. What else is on your resume?

I worked at an event planning company buying gifts for incentive trips for the past couple of years. I have also done pharmaceutical sales, interior design and marketing.

What prompted the job change this time?

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew immediately that an 8-5 wasn’t going to make sense for me. My husband travels a ton and I needed way more flexibility and to be able to set my own hours.

If real estate hadn’t worked out, what would you be doing?

A friend, Ashley Kappelman, and I started Damage Control and it is all about the pursuit of wellness with a glass of wine in hand. We post recipes, workouts and, of course, wine on our Instagram account (@damagecontrolblog). We have big dreams to create a wellness experience in Kansas City in the future so stay tuned!

What is a typical day like for you?

Every day is definitely different but generally it involves cooking and eating breakfast with my husband {I love that we both work from home!} and then squeezing in work during nap times on the days that I don’t have childcare. On the days that I do have childcare, I generally will have a client appointment and get a workout in. Oh, and a lot of pumping.

They say it takes a village. Who else helps you with your son?

My husband and I are both from Oklahoma and almost all of our family is back home. I would give anything to have my mom or his mom here. Thankfully we have some cousins in town who are willing to help out and our friends are like family – we would be lost without them!

What has been the best part of motherhood so far?

The gummy smiles! I was just telling my husband that I don’t want him to get teeth because I will miss those smiles!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how sleep deprived are you these days?

Let’s call it a 5. Though I will say it isn’t as bad as I expected it to be. I think I slept more after he was born than at the end of pregnancy. That was a rough few weeks!

What did you not know about parenting that you wish someone had told you?

How hard it would be. People kind of tell you but they talk more about the exhaustion or the fussiness. No one really mentions that you won’t feel like yourself {still waiting!}, the sheer fear you feel when your husband goes out of town for the first time, or that you will question every decision you make, always wondering if it’s the “right” one.

What is your favorite part about being a working mom?

It helps me feel more like my old self, which makes me a better mom.

What’s the hardest part?

The scheduling. It’s a nightmare. Last minute appointments come up all the time and figuring out the logistics can be hard.

What do you hope your child gains from you working?

I hope he learns to go after what he wants out of life, whatever that may be and that it is ok to do things for yourself.

[tweetthis]”It’s okay to do things for yourself” #momtruth[/tweetthis]

What keeps you sane?

Working out, wine and my husband – he is pretty good at talking me off the ledge.

What one product or service do you love so much you could be a brand ambassador?

Class Pass – genius idea. It allows you to visit most boutique fitness studios in the KC area four times a month for $79. Now if they could just figure out the childcare situation…

What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Hire out what you can so you aren’t spending the limited time with your kids cleaning or doing yard work. And HyVee grocery delivery…game changer!

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Having it all to me is working part time – it is definitely the best of both worlds. I am still working on the right balance, but I am headed in the right direction!

Whether you’re looking for help with your next home purchase or sitting back and perusing Instagram, be sure to hook up with Michelle at @keyzioinc and @damagecontrolblog.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

February 24, 2016April 18, 2016

“Typical days begin with coffee and end with wine”

Q&A with Erin Gregory

I knew all about Erin Gregory before I even met her. The company I was working for at the time partnered with her then-boyfriend’s {now-husband’s} PR firm. He was clearly smitten with this smart woman with a southern accent and clever sense of humor.

When I finally met Erin I could immediately see what all of the fuss was about. She’s genuinely kind, a great people-connector and incredibly talented in all things Communications.

Now that we’re both moms who work, and living on opposite sides of the city, our paths seldom cross these days. {I did babysit her daughter once on New Year’s Eve when I was pregnant with my son and clearly not going anywhere fun. I can also count on bumping into her at least once a year at the Junior League‘s Holiday Mart.}

Maybe it’s her southern charm working its magic on me, but I knew I wanted to reconnect with her through these #workingmomwednesday interviews and inquire about her exciting career and the beautifully busy life she’s built with her family.

Welcome to The Free Mama and thanks for playing along in this week’s Working Mom Wednesday 🙂 Let everyone know who you are and what you do.

I’m a wife, mom, stepmom, daughter and friend and get paid to do what I really enjoy (communications and public relations work) at a cool company – AMC Theatres. I’m manager of corporate communications there.

Before that you worked with your entrepreneur hubby. What was that like?

It was the perfect fit at the right time to have it all, per say – I worked full-time, with a great balance between at-home and meetings with clients, and had lots of flexibility to be able to pick up and drop off my daughter at preschool, spend more time with her in the evenings when she was little and attend all of her preschool celebrations and activities. This balance and flexibility was really important to me when my daughter was so young.

What prompted the job change?

In the 13 years I’ve lived in KC, at whatever level I was at in my career, there have only ever been a couple of openings at AMC; when I saw one, I was immediately intrigued and had to learn more. Turns out, it was an incredible opportunity and great fit.

I’m assuming you’ve become a bit of a movie buff then. What’s the best film you’ve seen lately?

Spotlight had me on the edge of my seat, and the acting was really captivating. I enjoy taking my daughter to every kid movie, and she’s spoiled by AMC’s red recliners.

If PR wasn’t your gig, what do you think you would be doing?

I’d probably be a counseling psychologist.

That doesn’t surprise me at all. You’re so involved in the community and constantly helping people; how do you manage your busy schedule and still find time to give back?

It’s a priority, and one that has shifted up or down at different times in my life. I try to focus on organizations or causes where I can make an impact and that are close to my heart and ones that allow me to work alongside the best and brightest {and most fun} people from whom I can learn.

What is a typical day like for you?

Typical days begin with coffee and end with wine. I’ve gotten back into working out a few mornings a week, which really helps kick-start the day and calibrate my mind. At work, it could be a day focused on projects at my computer or one spent mostly in meetings or catching up with colleagues on ideas and projects. We have family dinner at the table most nights – could be something in the Crock-Pot, or if I’ve not planned ahead stuff from the freezer or cupboard paired with a fruit and vegetable. I also read to my daughter most nights I’m home, a favorite way to wind down and enjoy time with her.

[tweetthis]”Typical days begin with coffee and end with wine.”[/tweetthis]

What keeps you sane?

Coffee, wine, exercise, mindless TV, travel, prayer, my friends and most importantly, my husband.

You also have two step children. Tell me how you all spend family time.

With two teenagers and a 5-year-old, this varies from board games or movies at home to afternoons at a park. We like to be on the go and check out all the family-friendly fun KC has to offer, and we like to expose the kids to these things – the Nelson, Plaza Art Fair, KC Parks events like Ethnic Enrichment Festival and Santa’s Wonderland, Mavericks games, etc.

Has there been a mom-moment you’ve missed that you regretted due to work?

Yes, and I think moms just have to accept it’ll happen. I was out of town for a theatre opening that was both exciting and important for me at work, and unavoidably it coincided with my daughter’s preschool Christmas program, and her last one, to boot. Thank goodness for modern technology and sweet friends who took lots of photos so I could feel connected.

It definitely takes a village. Who helps you with your kiddos?

We’re fortunate to have supportive, awesome, hands-on grandparents – sadly, my parents are in Tennessee, but my husband’s live nearby. It also helps to have a great babysitter or two and neighbor-friends who don’t mind helping in a pinch.

What do you hope your daughter takes away from you working?

I hope she sees an example of both hard work and education and seeking the opportunities to apply those in a way that brings personal fulfillment, professional growth and my own contribution to the household income. I also hope she’s gaining her own sense of independence and blazing her own trail in life. I hope she knows that I miss her {most} every day and cherish our “stay-at-home day” playtime.

What’s your best piece of advice for other moms who work?

Do what you want to do – don’t let someone else’s choices, opinions or norms dictate yours. A one-size-fits-all approach for what is important or functional for one mom or family isn’t reasonable.

I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Good question! I trust my own female intuition and mom instincts in trying to achieve balance. Sometimes that balance feels out of whack – too much time spent here or needing more time there…I think needs and priorities shift as far as how big each piece of the “it all” pie goes. We might not have to make sacrifices, but we do have to make choices and to own those choices.

Don’t just take Erin’s daughter’s word for it, you too can experience the cozy red recliners at an AMC near you.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

February 17, 2016February 17, 2016

Working Mom Wednesday: I wanted to be a mom, but I also wanted a career

I can’t tell you how many times a week I have an “it’s such a small world” moment, especially living in Kansas City. Well, that’s exactly what happened the first time I met working mom, Mary Moore. First, we realized we had a mutual friend. Then, we put together that we’d actually met before – probably more than once – at the birthday parties of another friend’s sons.

Mary and her husband Tim could quite possibly be the coolest people I know. They are both hilarious, genuinely kind, and super fun. Like, there is no way my husband and I could possibly hang with them, fun.

But one of the things I find most intriguing about this couple is their family dynamic: Mary is a career woman and Tim is the primary caregiver. While there is no doubt that there’s been a huge increase in the number of stay-at-home-fathers {16% and rising}, it’s still often presumed to be mom’s gig.

I couldn’t wait to interview Mary and find out how this arrangement works for her.

TFM: Self-promo time. Tell me what you do.

Mary: I’m the Director of Marketing and Business Development for Pulse Design Group. Pulse is an architecture firm that focuses solely on healthcare design. Very niche, specialized market. Been there almost a year. Love it!

TFM: If you weren’t doing that, what would you be?

Mary: I’d be independently wealthy and sitting on a beach somewhere. Obviously. But…when I lost all my money on a risky bet, I’d rehab furniture. I love reviving ‘drab into fab’ as they say.

TFM: That sounds like a dream. The beach part. Now, you’re in a unique–but growing–role of being the breadwinner while your husband is home with your three kids. What is that like?

Mary: Ummm….it’s freakin’ awesome and totally works for us. The role reversal wasn’t much of an adjustment for us and has been awesome for our family. I can scoot off to work feeling 100% comfortable knowing that my kids are in great hands. Something I was just never quite comfortable with in the daycare setting. If it can’t be me, I’m sure as hell glad it’s him. And sometimes, more often than not, I’ve realized that he does a better job than I do, or did, or would do. My husband totally rocks the stay at home dad gig and embraces it. I love hearing about his day when I come home from work and everyday is different. Today, the highlight of his day was taking ballet lessons from our four year old daughter. I have to admit, there are times when pings of jealousy run through me that I’m missing out, but I remind myself how lucky they are to have special bonding time with their dad. A time that they will always remember and remember fondly….at least that’s the hope 😉

TFM: I’ve met your husband; they’ll definitely remember 🙂 We know each day is different for dad, so what is a typical day like for you?

Mary: Typical? What’s typical? I’m a mother of three kids (age 6, 4 and 2), work full time, have a food truck business on the side, and sit on several boards of philanthropic organizations. Every day is different. Drastically different. Sure there are the norms of getting up and going to work, but what happens before, during and after are always different. That’s one thing I’ll say about having kids is there is never a dull moment. Never. And if there is, it’s usually a bad sign…..or so I’ve found to be true for us.

TFM: You mentioned that at times it’s hard not to feel a smidgen of jealousy for your stay-at-home hubby. Have you ever missed a moment in your child’s life that you regret?

Mary: Oh, hell yeah. Of course. Who hasn’t? I hate it. I’ll never get used to it but it’s part of life. I’ve missed a party at school or a field trip or two, but I make absolutely certain that I’m there for the main ones. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. I know my kids, and know when they really need me there. Sometimes it’s to be the room parent volunteer for a special event at school and I’ve been there. Sometimes it’s as simple as just playing chase or having some one on one time. It’s taking the time to make those things count, so that they know I’m there….even when I can’t {physically} be. I just have to balance it as best I can and be okay with the fact that I’ll miss things from time to time. Does it suck? Yes. Do I like it? No. But that’s just the way it is and I’ll drive myself bat shit crazy if I don’t constantly remind myself that I’m doing the best I can.

TFM: And the forgiving part about parenting is that no one expects you to do it alone. It takes a village. Who’s yours?

Mary: Should I name names? That list would be a mile long. We have help. So much help. We need help and aren’t afraid to admit it. Parenting is hard. Damn hard. Hectic schedules, a messy house, non-stop chaos, unruly toddlers, and the thought of trying to organize a date night seems like a huge feat. Luckily, we have help. We live in a super awesome neighborhood where there are lots of young families. We have all become friends. Good friends. One family became our business partners. We all walk right into each other’s homes without knocking and make ourselves at home. We watch each other’s kids. But ‘watch’ isn’t the right word. We are all a huge part of each other’s lives and help each other because we want to, not because we have to. It’s good to know that there are many sets of eyes watching over all the kids at all times. Other than the neighbors, our family helps us out a TON. Two sets of grandparents babysit often along with extended family members. We have a large network that is always willing to help. We would be screwed without them. Royally screwed!

TFM: So a divide and conquer approach. I love that. Is there any product or service you love so much you could be a brand ambassador?

Mary: Duct tape. Kids break everything. Duct tape fixes everything. Problem solved!

TFM: Creative! So what keeps you from losing your cool at home?

Mary: Wine. Chocolate. Then more wine. And my husband. He’s the best sounding board and the voice of reason. And he’s funny. Really funny and finds humor in everything. Even when there’s poop on the floor (which happens more than I’d like to admit-our 2 year old has learned to take off his diaper). It’s made life interesting as of late. But no matter what’s happening, there’s always laughter in our house. That keeps us sane. Oh, and more wine!

TFM: So now that we’re talking poop, what is your favorite thing about being a mom?

Mary: That’s a loaded question. Too hard to answer so I’ll give an example. Recently my 6 year old son asked me to be his Valentine. Of course I accepted. Being a mom has its ups and downs, but being my kid’s Valentine is one of the greatest honors and privileges I’ve experienced in 32 (okay fine, who am I kidding, 37) years. Those special moments, even if they seem few and far between, far outweigh the sleepless nights, potty training struggles, terrible twos, etc. When your child asks you to be his Valentine, you know you’ve done something right. Being a mom is amazing. But it’s amazing because my kids are amazing. Of course I’m biased, but they truly are. But you asked about my favorite part about being a mom. It has to be those tiny moments in time when you see your child for the first time, when they catch your eye and smile at you from across the room while they are busy playing with a friend, when you watch them learn, see them being helpful or empathetic, playing with their siblings, developing new skills, and the list goes on and on. And did I mention when you get asked to be their Valentine? That’s a killer. God help me if he ever asks to marry me!

TFM: So sweet. I love my mama’s boy, too! Now, you have two sons and a daughter; what do you hope they take away from mom working outside of the home?

Mary: I hope they understand that I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to be a mom, but I also wanted a career. I like to work. I’m actually a better mom because I work. When I get home, I focus on them and we get quality time. I hope they learn that you can have both if that’s what you truly want.

TFM: What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Mary: Do it. Embrace it. Own it. Let your children see that you are working and explain to them why it’s important. If you have to leave them, leave them for something that you love. Let them see you rock your career and achieve success. They may not quite understand it, but they know it’s important. And don’t beat yourself up about being a working mom. Be proud of who you are, what you do and that you can have a career and be an involved parent. It’s not an either/or.

TFM: I’m on a quest to having it all. What does having it all mean to you?

Mary: Man, that sounds great. Really great. Unfortunately, it probably doesn’t work for me and my family in the traditional sense. I work hard, damn hard. Long hours. Then I come home and continue to work-but it’s a different job. The mom job. I’m not much for fancy houses and flashy cars or “keeping up with the Joneses.” Why would I need to keep up with them? That’s too much pressure and for all I know, they’re up to their eyeballs in debt, on the brink of divorce and they don’t have strong bonds with their friends or kids….and likely as not, they’re probably jerks. Okay, that’s probably not fair, and I’m sure The Joneses are perfectly nice people, but I just want to work hard, provide a comfortable life for my family, spend time with them and be real. I don’t want to try be something I’m not. That’s too much work and really exhausting. I don’t need another reason to be exhausted. And when I go to bed at night with dishes in the sink, laundry piled high and a messy house {at least I cleaned up the poop}, I know my kids and my husband know that they are my world. So in that regard, I do have it all!

Remember that food truck Mary mentioned? Her husband Tim takes turns operating Pie Hole with co-owner {and fellow stay-at-home-dad} Chris Knowles. This daddy-duo has figured out job sharing for care givers turned entrepreneurs. On top of everything else on her working mom to-do list, Mary does their marketing. Bravo, team!

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

February 10, 2016February 17, 2016

Working Mom Wednesday: do what is right for you

Today is my mom’s birthday, so I could think of no better woman to feature in this week’s interview than Pam Gyllenborg!

Like many women, my mom’s career path hasn’t always been straight and easy. She’s been a Spanish teacher, a travel agent, a stay at home mom.

She’s dedicated her life to philanthropy regardless of whether or not she was working outside of the home. From the Kansas City Symphony to the Children’s Center for the Visually Impaired and a hundred organizations in between, my mom has always worked hard to improve our local community through service.

But with her children out of the house {and now married with babies of our own}, my mom dusted off her briefcase and headed back to work as a real estate agent. She’s grown an impressive business through her philanthropic and social networks and her outstanding reputation.

While building her career, my mom’s also managed to set aside time to care for her grandchildren {my children} one day a week. This has been an incredible blessing in my life to allow me to work while keeping childcare costs in check.

She is truly an outstanding wife, mother, grandmother, friend and businesswoman!

TFM: Hi, mom! Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over 40 😉 Why don’t we start with you telling everyone what you do.

Mom: I am a Realtor, a Senior Sales Executive for 12 years with Better Homes & Gardens Real Estate.

TFM: What do you enjoy about working in real estate?

Mom: The favorite part of my job is the many friendships that I have built with my clients. These relationships are multi generational now. Nothing pleases me more than to have helped a parent and now their children in their real estate needs.

TFM: You’ve always been a people-person. I don’t think we’ve ever left the house without you bumping into someone you know! But no job is perfect, so what has been the hardest part?

Mom: Thanks to technology, I can be reached 24/7. I’m constantly at the “beck and call” of my clients no matter what day or time it is, which can make it difficult to make plans.

TFM: That makes sense and I think a lot of working moms face the same challenge of never being able to turn off work. So give me an example of a Realtor’s work day?

Mom: Each day is different except for Thursday which is my grandson, Henry’s babysitting day. The entire day is about him!

TFM: Henry sure does love his Gigi 🙂

Mom: However, most mornings I start by addressing my emails and texts. It is important to keep on top of the market so I check MLS for new listings, changes in price and status. Then I take time to communicate by updating current clients and touching base with past clients. I do that by phone, email, newsletters, snail mail, and in person lunches and coffee dates. I spend afternoons working on marketing, listing presentations, staging homes for showings, previewing homes or attending price opinions for agents. I end the day by going to an exercise class.

TFM: Now, you reentered the workforce after two decades of raising children. Why?

Mom: My nest was empty, and I was tired of being a professional volunteer. I wanted to enter the work force one more time. I wanted a job with time flexibility and not to be chained to a desk all day. Real Estate seemed like a good fit and a way that I could join forces with my husband who has been in the construction business for 30 years {Gyllenborg Construction}.

TFM: Were there any struggles when you first went back to work?

Mom: When I first got into real estate, I joined a top KC team in order to learn the business from the best. Technology was and continues to be my biggest challenge. Now my husband and I have partnered together in the business. He builds the homes and I sell them, or I sell the homes and he remodels them. I think that we are the only ones in KC that offer the services of a licensed contractor and Realtor together. And so far, we have not had one fight or disagreement!!

TFM: High school sweethearts to business partners. You two love birds! If you hadn’t chosen real estate, what do you think you would be?

Mom: Well, I love clothes and fashion. My closets are stuffed full! I worked in a very trendy clothing store in high school and college selling, modeling and doing window and store displays. I also enjoy interior design which I utilize when staging my clients’ homes. As you know when I babysit, I am always rearranging your furniture. You are never sure what your house is going to look like when you come home!

TFM: This is a true statement. While we’re usually not pleased when we get home, we also never move it back. You must know a thing or two! You also held a few jobs before staying home with kids…do any of them stand out to you?

Mom: I was a travel agent and a Spanish teacher at Barstow School. I loved to travel so the travel business caught my interest out of college. I started at a time with no computers. We hand wrote the tickets in first class and coach fares only established by a book that came out once a month. The industry would give us free “Fam” or familiarization trips to fly to and review their resorts. It was a fun career until the airlines became deregulated. Discount fares and computers changed the game.

TFM: A lot of working moms decide to stay home for the early years. What’s your best piece of advice for those deciding to go back to work?

Mom: Do what is right for you!

TFM: That’s right. Parenting {and working} is not one size fits all. One thing we do all have in common? We’re not perfect. Tell me about a time you messed up.

Mom: I still have nightmares about this one! When I was doing event planning for not-for-profits, I hired a friend to do the catering for a large car show and auction for 300 people. She failed to provide enough food or staff for the evening and half the guests did not get any dinner! Very embarrassing!

TFM: How did you overcome it?

Mom: I try to follow the Frozen philosophy of “Let it Go!” I learned here that you must check and double check references and past performances, even if they are your friend.

TFM: You’ve been watching too many Disney movies, mom. Be honest: parenting vs. grandparenting?

Mom: Grandparenting is the best…just unconditional love and spoiling! You do not have the worries and the day to day grind of parents.

TFM: Yeah, yeah. Well, what would you say is the best part of being a mom?

Mom: Giving life, nurturing that life with your heart and soul, and then watching that life grow and succeed in the world is the most beautiful thing. I could not be prouder of my daughters and the wonderful women and mothers they are today.

TFM: {Blushing} Thanks, mom! But I’m sure I still drive you a little nuts after all of these years. What keeps you sane? Besides QVC….

Mom: Of course, my family and friends are my greatest blessing. I also enjoy exercise like Zumba, Tai Chi or Curves. I do think it is important to be good to yourself in this busy, hectic life. I recommend everyone treat themselves to a massage or mani/pedi once a month!

TFM: You’re buying, right? Just teasing…this month is on me. Happy Birthday, mom!

If you’re looking to buy, sell, build or remodel a home in Kansas City, I highly suggest you get in touch with my mom {and dad, John}. I may be bias, but they are total real estate rock stars.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.

February 3, 2016February 17, 2016

Working Mom Wednesday: no excuses

I’ve known and admired Jenny Kincaid for all of my adult life. I met her within my first week at my first big-kid job after my husband and I moved back to Kansas City. At the time, we were both working our tails off for someone else.

If you’ve had the privilege of meeting Jenny, I’m guessing you left the conversation feeling empowered. She has a knack for lifting up other women and genuinely wants to help those around her find success. With her independent attitude, fierce work ethic, and outside-of-the-box creativity, I knew Jenny had bigger things ahead of her.

Since then, Jenny has built her own public and social relations firm committed to Kansas City companies. {I also coaxed her into joining Femfessionals Kansas City.} During that time, Jenny also took on her newest role – mom.

TFM: Tell the people what you do.

Jenny: Socialworx PR is a lifestyle and niche public relations firm. We work with a variety of clients, from ideas that started out on a napkin to companies that have been in business for more than 150 years. Our “niche” seems to be companies that are locally owned, woman owned, and those that don’t have a strong brand awareness or presence in the area…yet. We specialize in “social relations” which is just our term for community involvement. Being social is beneficial for you personally, professional and philanthropically.

TFM: What made you want to take the leap to start your own company?

Jenny: I wanted to do things my way, on my own time and in my own unique way. Having had a great experience in this business for 5 years with another PR firm, it was just time that I make a change. I wanted to own my own business again and I liked the idea of being challenged everyday, scaring myself to commit to something, to be successful. I wanted to call the shots.

TFM: What is the best part of being a business owner?

Jenny: Like all things, there are ups and downs, and the same goes for owning your own business. Not everyday is ice cream and lollipops, but you can’t learn if you don’t fail. The best part of being a business owner is the freedom to take those chances to see if something works, the freedom to make your own schedule and not have to rely on someone else for your own success.

TFM: Speaking of failing, tell me about a time you really messed up

Jenny: I have missed deadlines, I’ve launched a campaign without everyone’s permission, I’ve been way off base on a story angle and completely missed the storyline for some major outlets…

TFM: I’m sure when dealing with clients those mistakes can be a tough pill to swallow. How did you go about making it right?

Jenny: I was honest and owned up to my mistake, then learned from it and spent more time in those areas.

TFM: Very professional advice. What is a typical day like for you in the world of public relations?

Jenny: There is no typical day in PR, I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Some mornings start at 6 a.m. with texts from a client followed by 7:30 a.m. calls (then play for a bit with my daughter and drop her off, kiss hubby goodbye), head to office, talk to the team and get the run down for the day, head to coffee meeting, maybe a luncheon, sit it on a photo shoot…all the while checking emails and exchanging texts. Maybe go to a horse barn for an interview with KCPD Mounted Patrol then run behind a bar to try a new cocktail or wine, drop by the tv station for a few photos of a client interview, try to get in a 30 minute workout. Finish up the day brainstorming about our new products and services and how they will actually help our clients, plan ahead, answer phone calls and check all social media sites (schedule posts for the next day) and at least one day a week head to a board or committee meeting for one of the non-profits I volunteer for.

TFM: Sounds like a very full, but exciting plate! I bet you never get bored. If you weren’t in PR, what would you be doing?

Jenny: Good question…it would depend on where I was in my life. I’ve always been one to thrift and refurbish furniture so that’s one thing I’ve got. I’ve also thought about going back to school and being an ER nurse…then again, I like being around people so as long as I was keeping busy I would be happy. More philanthropy, helping friends with their businesses? Who knows?

TFM: Since launching Socialworx PR, you’ve also become a mama! What is your favorite part about being a mom?

Jenny: Like many, I can’t name just one. I love when she laughs, says “I love you” and runs to me at the end of the day. Who can get enough of that?

TFM: Who helps you with your daughter while you’re working?

Jenny: I have the most adorable husband…I tell everyone that he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. From day one of our relationship, he has known that I’m really independent, a natural busy-body and am involved in a lot. He helps with Ellis in every way and days when I leave at 7 a.m. and don’t get home till 7 p.m., I always get the same response “No problem babes, I know you’re a busy woman. You’ve got a lot on your plate, besides that, we’re a team.” He is the perfect balance. To add to that, I have my parents who are beyond awesome. They are retired and take her two days a week. I’m pretty sure this is more fun for them than anything, but again, I feel lucky that Ellis can spend time with them, learn from them and it helps keep them young. They also help out when we’re in a pinch. We are very lucky to have that support. I can’t forget about my older brother Kyle, either. He lives just down the street and can’t go a day without a picture of her or seeing her. He watches her occasionally when he’s not on the railroad and they’re the best of friends. Again, lucky!

TFM: Have you ever missed a moment in your Ellis’s life that you regret?

Jenny: Not yet…I worked from home for the first 14 months of her life so I was able to see her everyday. This is also where owning your own business comes in handy too…if I want to stay home with her, I will.

TFM: That’s awesome. If your daughter takes away one thing from you running a business, what do you think {or hope} that would be?

Jenny: The ability to smile at the end of the day and feel good about having a good work ethic, being humble and kind and knowing that working hard pays off.

TFM: What keeps you sane?

Jenny: My hubby, stepping away and laughing with friends, a little dancing now and then, peanut M&M’s and a Sailor Jerry’s & Coke.

TFM: Good to know 🙂 What’s your best piece of advice for other working moms?

Jenny: You can do it. Women have been doing great things for hundreds of years and without the resources we have now, so focus on the end goal. Focus on living the type of life you want and then take the steps to make it happen. It’s not going to happen overnight and you’re not Superwoman, be realistic, but be bold, be you and learn to love the fire. Surround yourself with other like-minded people (men and women).

TFM: Any tips for women wanting to start a business?

Jenny: Go for it. You’re one step closer to living the life you want than you were yesterday and as fast as time flies, 6 months from now you’ll be that much closer to being a #bossbabe! Again, be realistic and think about what you’re doing and what the outcome is. Ask questions, do your research and surround yourself with people who will be honest with you. Get feedback, take criticism in stride, make mistakes and learn from them. But don’t ever say you can’t or give excuses…no excuses.

TFM: I’m on a quest to having it all. Do you think you have it all?

Jenny: I have all that I need and that makes me happy.

Jenny will celebrate 6 years in biz next month! For more about the amazing company she’s built, the KC clients she works with everyday, and the fabulous Jenny herself, check out Socialworx PR.

Want to be interviewed for #workingmomwednesday? Contact me to find out how.