I’m getting personal this week. I’m digging deep into your mess becomes your message — and why it matters.
Do you ever feel like you’re out of sync with the world around you, mama?
That’s me, every year on St. Patrick’s Day.
Everyone’s out there, wearing green, drinking beer, and looking for pots of gold and magic rainbows.
And then there’s me.
Sure, I know there’s no magic. I’m not looking for rainbows, and I make my own gold with hard work. But that’s not why I feel different from everyone on March 17th.
It’s because March 17th was the due date for the baby I miscarried.
So every year, while everyone else is celebrating, I feel that loss in the deepest part of my soul.
Please don’t misunderstand. It’s been a few years since my miscarriage, and I’m past the point of mourning. In fact, when I think about the beautiful baby that I lost, what I feel most is… grateful.
It was that terrible experience — the one that had the power to break me completely — that completely changed the trajectory of my entire life. And when I think about the choices I made, the things I felt forced to do, as a result of that miscarriage, how can I be anything but grateful?
This might surprise you, mama, but I’m not a natural risk taker. I might have stayed in the job I didn’t love for years — or even forever. But because of my miscarriage, I got the message that something had to change. I had no choice but to take action.
That loss was a wake-up call for me. That loss became a gift to me, to my family, and — I hope — to you and thousands of women like you, who have become part of the Free Mama Movement.
So, yes, when I think about my miscarriage, it still makes me sad, but it gives me hope to know that my experience — and my child’s death — have meaning.
It wasn’t all in vain. That baby mattered.
You can find a million inspirational quotes on the internet. Your mess becomes your message, the obstacle is the way, you have to live in the darkness to appreciate the light.
When you’re in the middle of the dark times, it’s hard to hear that message. For me, it was only much later, when I met my business coach Liz Benny, that I learned to embrace the idea that it’s not that things happen to you — it’s that things happen for you. Your mess becomes your message so you can reach others and help others.
It’s often so much easier to take on the role of the victim, to feel powerless, and to let the world do its worst.
Sometimes, we can get really comfortable in our discomfort.
But I want you to hear this. Whatever you’re walking through right now, no matter how rocky and treacherous the path, there is a reason for it. You can get through. You won’t be unscathed. You’ll be scared — and you’ll carry scars. You’ll be changed.
And it’s those scars, those changes, that will make you who you are meant to be. Your mess becomes your message.
Want to connect with other mamas who have been where you are – wherever you are? Head over to the facebook group and connect with other likeminded women.