Some people are super clear on how they think of themselves. I’m Lauren, and I help moms build amazing virtual businesses from the ground up, so they don’t have to choose between family and finances.
Some people struggle a little more than others. I’m not sure who I serve. I’m not sure how I help people. I don’t know how to show up online.
Well, we’re going to dig in on who you are — like, defining your personal brand as a freelancer, not, like, WHO YOU ARE as a human being. I’m just coming off an AMAZING few days with my Inner Circle Mamas, and I have LOADS to share, so let’s dig in.
APPETIZERS
Start with something new and exciting!
Whoa, I had a LOT to say yesterday when I was live in the Facebook group. Did you catch it? I shared some takeaways from my Intensive this past weekend in Ft Lauderdale with my Inner Circle students. You can watch the replay right here.
Defining your personal brand as a freelancer does not have to be overwhelming — AND it doesn’t have to involve choosing colors and fonts. This week, on FreeMamaTV we’re diving into how you show up as the BEST version of yourself online — what that looks like, how to figure it all out, and of course, my favorite shortcut for getting there faster.
If you struggle with showing up authentically, you’ll LOVE this episode!
Dish of the day
Listen. We’re two weeks into the second quarter of the year, and you have #GOALS that you want to hit. I get it, because I’m right there with you. In this week’s episode of FreeMama Radio, we’re going to take a step back (in order to move forward) and show you what you need to do BEFORE you go all in on those big goals you’ve got.
What if I told you that you can start and build a business as an introvert?
Would you believe me?
I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m kind of an extrovert who thrives on being around other people.
via Kim’s Convenience on GIPHY
Okay, yes, EVERYBODY knows that about me. Because it’s totally true!
I’m SO in my element right now, because I’m in Fort Lauderdale with my Inner Circle peeps.
I’m around real humans. In real life. I can see their WHOLE BODIES, not just a head and shoulders Zoom shot. (And some of these people are even wearing real pants with BUTTONS. But I’m not judging.)
Community is at the heart of the Free Mama, AND it’s at the heart of building a successful business.
I talk to a lot of women who tell me, “This is EASY for you, Lauren, because you’re an extrovert. I’m the opposite. I’m a total introvert. Can I still build a business?”
My honest answer is that you can ABSOLUTELY build a business as an introvert, AND you can build a business that allows you to HONOR your introvert tendencies.
Because building a business is NOT about being the center of attention. Rather, it’s about HELPING people. Which does, almost always, involve communication, but it doesn’t have to involve going to huge events and spending hours in large groups of people every day.
You can build a wildly successful business by having one-on-one conversations with people. You can listen more than you talk and hear what people need, and then help them with that thing, and you will never have a shortage of clients.
You can build a community of clients who adore you, and you don’t have to hang out with all of them at once.
How does that sound to you?
On the flip side, being here has reminded me how badly I needed this connection, so I’m feeling all kinds of gratitude for the scientists who have been working on vaccines and all the things…
… and I’m thinking about how much I want to hang out with YOU.
We’re planning an ONLINE event for this fall AND ALSO…
a real, live, in-person Free Mama LIVE event for early 2022.
Here’s the deal.
Our online event is currently planned for October. And I haven’t even THOUGHT about a specific date for the in-person event yet.
What does this mean for you?
If you want to LOCK IN your early bird spot at our Virtual Event AND the LIVE event (which means you’ll get your tickets at the BEST possible price,) go pre-register now. You have 72 hours.
No, we don’t have all the details worked out yet. But we’ve pulled this thing off twice before, and we’ll do it again. We’ll exceed your expectations, as always. And you’re definitely going to be feeling the FOMO if you miss out.
Well, I know what happens to me. I shut down. I literally CAN’T take action. And that’s no good at all.
via Blindspot on GIPHY
Obviously, I don’t want that to happen to you, Mama, so I’ve put together a checklist for freelancers starting an online business. A little something that will help you SKIP the overwhelm completely. But before we get to the main course, we have to start with…
Listen, I know that fear is a thing that holds us back a lot, but sometimes it’s worth asking yourself, WHAT are you so afraid of? What’s the WORST that could really happen, for real, in real life?
Once you’ve decided that you do NOT have to give into your fear, you might still be facing down that overwhelm. Which is why you’re going to LOVE this week’s episode of FreeMamaTV. We have literally built you a CHECKLIST for starting an online business as a freelancer for exactly what you need to do, IN ORDER to get your online business up and running.
Get at it, girl!
As a matter of fact, starting an online business is achievable with this checklist for freelancers!
Dish of the day
It’s true — I’m rarely mistaken for a shy person. But just because I’m an extrovert who THRIVES on attention doesn’t mean that YOU have to be. And if you are shy by nature, you DO NOT want to miss this episode of Free Mama Radio with Cassandra Jones, who will talk you through overcoming shyness in your business. This episode is just what you need to hear.
It was a Friday afternoon, mama. I was approximately 934 months pregnant (but somehow with another TEN DAYS to go before my due date), and I was DONE. I was absolutely ready to have a baby, and so I gathered up all of my things from my desk at work, and I told the entire office:
I’m not coming back to work on Monday.
The overwhelming response in the office was complete disinterest, followed by a “Really?”
Me: This baby’s coming this weekend. I shan’t be returning here.
via Schitt’s Creek on GIPHY
Them:
Me: I mean, I’m not having contractions or anything. I’m just done. I am emotionally done. This baby is getting evicted from my uterus.
Them: TMI, Lauren.
I went home, convinced that I would have the baby over the weekend, and on Sunday, April 1, I went into labor.
I remained in labor for 23 horrible hours, including two and a half hours of pushing.
The baby STILL did not appear.
I hadn’t slept or eaten in over 30 hours, and I was completely exhausted. And I couldn’t understand WHY nothing was going according to my plan. I WAS READY, so WHY was this baby not being born?
And then it happened.
Somewhere, my tired mind heard the doctor and the nurse conferring, and mentioning that it was probably time to get the forceps out.
In other words, there was a very clear picture of where we were going if things didn’t get moving now — and THAT was the motivation I needed. Because there was NO WAY that anyone was sticking a FORCEPS up my hoo-ha (remember, my dad reads these blogs. HI, DAD!), and so I somehow, SOMEHOW got myself to the place where I was ACTUALLY ready to get the baby out, and Welcome to the world, Daphne.
On April 2.
Because I may have THOUGHT I was ready on the Friday before, and all day on Sunday, but DAPHNE (and this is just SO TYPICAL of her) was like, “Girlfriend, YOU ARE NOT READY. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU ARE READY.”
It’s kind of like (and you KNEW we were going here) when you decide to start a business. Sometimes, you think you’re ready. You have all the signs that you’re ready. You enrolled in the Free Mama Movement 2.0. You’re in the Squad. You totally want to start a business — but you’re not ready.
You’re not ready because you’re not you’re not doing the thing you need to be doing.
It’s not that you’re not trying, but the business is not progressing. And maybe what you need, is to really and fully understand the consequence of not doing the thing that you have to do, because it is hard. And you’re feeling stuck as a stay at home mom. It’s hard.
It’s LABOR hard.
But WANTING something and BEING READY are not the same thing.
And until you confront the reality of the forceps, maybe you won’t find the motivation to TRULY be ready.
Also, please, let’s take a moment to appreciate that I can make ANY story, including my BIRTH STORY into a lesson about business.
P.S. If you’ve been feeling stuck as a stay at home mom in WANTING, but you haven’t DONE THE THING yet, maybe it’s because you haven’t found THE RIGHT THING. The wonderful Kathryn Jones will be LIVE in the Facebook group TODAY. Maybe building funnels is your thing?
On a serious note, it’s been awful to watch unemployment rates soar. It’s been terrible to hear about people losing jobs. It’s been frightening to see so many women struggling.
And it makes me so glad that I went all in on freelancing back in 2015.
Over the past year, I’ve seen hundreds of women start and grow their businesses. Yes, even in the middle of a pandemic. It’s totally possible.
via Showtime on GIPHY
Dig in to this week’s Free Mama Menu to learn more.
On FreeMamaTV, we’re breaking down the FREEDOM Framework — it’s all you need to build a successful stay at home mom business during quarantine!
Dish of the day
Speaking stay at home mom business during quarantine, this week, on FreeMama Radio, if you are starting your business, that means it’s also time to STOP doing what other people tell you to do. This episode is just what you need to hear.
You might have noticed that your Tuesday email/blog looks a little different lately.
via The Comeback HBO in GIPHY
The thing is, I realized I wasn’t taking my own advice. I was working harder not smarter, in direct violation of everything that I tell you to do.
I wasn’t paying attention to what I enjoy. I LOVE connecting with you on video, and I wasn’t doing enough of that. So now everything is different and it feels really good.
I always say, you’re only as good as the results you get your clients. But NEVER strive for these results at the expense of your own happiness. So if you’re doing something in your business and it’s not working, or it’s making you unhappy, you need to tweak it until you get it right.
I don’t get it right every time. FAR FROM IT. And I commit to being transparent and telling you when I go wrong.
In return, I expect you to be committed to your results. Have the self-discipline to grow your business with integrity, do work that fulfills you, and put a bow on it for your clients.
You’re living the Free Mama life! Use the content! Take action, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes!
And sometimes you have to launch before you’re ready and then change course when you’re on the road. If I’d waited until I was ready to launch Free MamaTV or FreeMama Radio, or the new course, or these emails even, we never would have done it. Because you don’t know if something will work until you try.
And you can’t get it right until you get going.
Are you stuck right now, Mama? Are you desperate to make a change but scared you might be making mistakes along the way? DO IT ANYWAY! No one gets it right the first time. But once you take action you’ll know what you don’t know and you’ll finally be able to do something about it!
Hypothetical situation: you’re thinking about starting a virtual assistant business.
Wouldn’t it be AMAZING if you could talk to a whole bunch of people who had already done that, and find out exactly what they wish they’d known when they were just starting out, like you are now? Well, you’re in luck because we asked Free Mamas what they would answer if they could say “What I wish I knew before I started my virtual assistant business”
Gerry D GIF by GIPHY
We’ve got you covered, Mama. But before we get to that, I have a few other goodies for you.
Got something to share with us? Post it in the Facebook group! We LOVE celebrating you! I hope today’s blog fills you up with all kinds of Free Mama goodness!
This week is the due date anniversary of the baby I miscarried. Even in a regular year, it’s a time when I’m carrying heavy things.
But this year, for the first time, when I think about that period in my life, healing from miscarriage, I see it a bit differently.
What happens when the worst thing that ever happened to you ends up being the best thing? I’m just starting to process this.
Because that miscarriage most definitely was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Even though I had people around me, I felt so isolated. It was the lowest point I’ve ever had, by a long long way.
But without that low, I never would have created the Free Mama Movement which is the thing that has enabled me to really become the person I feel like I was meant to be.
When you have a miscarriage and you are healing from miscarriage, all these voices in your head say to you, Where do you go from here? What are you going to do next?
And it feels like you’re at the bottom of a hole trying to find the energy to crawl out.
But with hindsight, I can now see that this was the trigger that made me quit my job in search of something better.
My desire for change finally outgrew the what ifs.
You know the ones.
What if this doesn’t work? What if I can’t figure it out? What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? What if other people make fun of me? Or don’t support me? Or don’t get it?
But, look at it from another angle. What if the worst thing ends up being the best thing in life? What if I had never had my miscarriage? What would have happened then?
This email (which I wouldn’t have been writing – but bear with me, Mama!) would have read very differently.
Dear mama,
Today I did my normal crazy school drop off — 20 minutes in one direction to drop Audrey at daycare and then 30 minutes downtown to take the others to school and then another 30 minutes to get to work.
I sat in my chair for nine hours, because that is what I was hired to do. I had three pointless hour-long meetings that could have been resolved in a 3-sentence email, and I warmed my seat for most of the rest of the time because I’d done my work by 11 am.
It wasn’t all bad. I had a nice lunch with my co-workers. But I was constantly thinking about the kids, and I felt especially bad about Audrey because she’s so little and I wanted to be with her.
And then I did all the driving again to pick them all up. And once I got home, the nightly rush started. Rush to make dinner. Rush to tidy up dinner. Rush to do laundry. Rush to get everyone clean. Rush to get everyone to bed at a decent time. Rush rush rush, with no meaningful quality time whatsoever.
And all the time I was thinking about something at work I should have done better. Before I numbed out to Netflix, and fell into bed exhausted so I can be ready to get up again early tomorrow to do it all again.
Lauren
Most days I wore huge sunglasses in the car just so no one could see me crying.
Although I would NEVER want to go through that time again, after healing from miscarriage, I have enough distance now to see that the life I live now, that I love with my whole heart, came out of that hard time. So rather than just feeling heavy about it, I’m now starting to feel grateful.
In the online business world, you see a lot of hashtags, IG quotes, and buzzwords — and collaboration over competition is a BIG one you’ll see just about everywhere.
But here’s my question for you: are you all hung up on who else is offering “your” service? Or are you genuinely living that collaborative life, looking to lift up your fellow Free Mamas as you grow together? Is collaboration over competition for mom entrepreneurs even a thing?
via GIPHY
There are so many clients out there in the world. You really, truly don’t need to worry about not having enough.
So let’s take a look at how you can bring more collaboration — and less competition into your life.
APPETIZERS
Start with something new and exciting!
Is it REALLY all about attitude? Its been a crazy couple of weeks in the Golden household and yesterday I shared how its not always about having the right attitude, but rather about finding the right perspective… Check it out!
Last week I was honored to join Allie Martin on an episode of the Selfish Podcast and share my tips for growing your business with social media that included:
✨How to leverage the skills you have to make the life you want ✨How to ditch the 9-5 and run a business from home ✨Overcoming mom guilt by taking it into your own hands ✨How effective time management is crucial to working from home ✨How to diversify your business and maintain stability
Can you believe it’s the anniversary of the Pandemic, mama? I mean, as anniversaries go, this one pretty much sucks, but it’s important to look back and celebrate how much we’ve achieved in the most difficult of circumstances, like parenting through a pandemic.
Because being a parent can be hard, right? And being a parent in COVID times is a whole different ball game.
Via TV Land Classic on GIPHY
A year ago we took our first trip in our RV to a farm my mom’s family owns. It’s one of those places that’s warm and fuzzy in my memories because I loved it so much when I was a kid. It was a magical place for me and I really wanted my kids to experience it.
We had a great time. And then on the day we got back, the President was on television and the country shut down. We didn’t leave the house for 2 months.
After that, we were SO ready to go somewhere. We had this whole 8 week RV trip planned. We didn’t know exactly what to do. Was it safe to travel? Should we stay home?
In the end, we decided that we’d be safe in our own space, and we could figure out ways to stay away from other people on the road. We were yearning for open spaces so much, we decided to get out there and see the country.
I think we kind of forgot that we’d basically be shut in a really small space a lot of the time.
Now, Mama, I don’t know if you’ve ever lived as a family of five in a small, tin box. There were some stressful moments, that’s for sure.
When you live in an RV with your family, when one person wakes up, everybody wakes up and nobody goes to bed till everybody goes to bed.
And stuff happened. Like our car broke down about 19 times and we had to buy a new one. For the record we still have a bungee cord holding part of the RV together.
I’m not great without sleep. And no sleep on top of everything else? I was not the nicest person to be around.
It’s been a crazy tough year for everyone. Maybe you’ve been dealing with family or friends who got sick, or who passed away. If so, I’m so sorry.
Maybe you’ve been working in a hospital or on the front line in some capacity, in which case, you’re a hero. Thank you SO much.
Or maybe you’re a Mama who’s been at home dealing with all the things. You’ve had to step up to learn how to be an educator, you’ve spent even more time with your children and had even less help. You’ve had zero time to take care of yourself, which is something we always neglect, right? And, maybe you’ve had to cope with work on top of everything else, or you’ve gone through the upset and worry of losing your job.
Parenting through a pandemic has been hard. I’ve definitely found it tough. And I’m not proud to admit that I’m not great in these circumstances.
There are days when I feel like the worst mama in the world. I get tired and frustrated and I yell. Then I get to spend the rest of the day feeling bad about it. It really isn’t pretty.
So after 8 weeks in a tin box with my family, I bought my first ever parenting course – Positive Parenting Solutions from Amy McCready, to help with parenting through a pandemic
There are LOTS of things I love about this course, but the biggest one is this. I’m a real all or nothing girl, but Amy has shown me there really is no such thing as a good mom or bad mom, good kid or bad kid. We’re all just doing our best.
She has a whole host of little tools. Like When – Then. When you’ve picked up your toys then we can have a snack.
There are lots of pearls like this. Just knowing a few of them can completely change the trajectory of your day. It’s AMAZING. And it’s all broken up into chunks so it’s digestible.
